texlex61's definitions

malpheasants

1. (prim. def.) Wrongdoing or wrongful acts by certain large birds of the order Galliformes while acting in an offcial capacity.

2. (alt. def.) Wrongdoing or wrongful acts committed against certain large birds of the order Galliformes while acting in an offcial capacity.

Volunteer Deputy Constable (and part-time unarmed sporting event security enforcement officer) Russell Peabody committed an act of gross malpheasants (alt. def.) when he planted some throw down grass-seed-based scat near two colorful male Galliformes in a crude (and disgusting) attempt to justify their arrest (and prompt death by BBQ) pursuant to trumped up allegations of petty malpheasants (prim. def.) involving the unauthorized consumption of a partial ruck-sack of county grass seed from the football field maintenance shed during the local Punnischt, OK, high school's annual trouncing by the visiting "Fight'n Pheasants" from West Lafarge, OK.

by texlex61 January 29, 2009

White Trash Warranty Claim

Application of various disreputable and/or fraudulent strategies calculated to obtain a warranty repair or replacement to which one would not otherwise be entitled. Closely related to white trash exchange, white trash rebate, white trash refund, white trash regifting, etc.

Cletus, fearing that his high-dollar videocam would fail once the 5-year extended warranty period expired, obtained a full-value replacement with a well-crafted white trash warranty claim, after correctly surmising that 10 seconds in the microwave effectively simulated a covered lightning strike and/or electrical surge.

by texlex61 January 29, 2009

idiomatopoeia

Various grunts, groans, growls, bawls, squeaks, squawks, hisses, purrs, boops, whoops, whizzes, whams, bams, pops, peeps, howls, churtles, chortles, gurgles, babbles, buzzes, and other verbalizations apparently reproducing a sound quality of a referenced thing and appearing to comprise meaningful articulations, but which, in reality, are merely the mindless noises of a complete idiot.

"No class," expressed the 7th grade teacher, Ms. Buzby, when Jeremy makes the "raspberry" sound, it's not a rude example of onomatopoeia, it's straight up idiomatopoeia.

by texlex61 January 30, 2009

White Trash Regifting

Application of various disreputable and/or dishonest strategies, employed by the giver in a regifting situation, calculated to deceive the recipient into a) believing that the gift was not known by the giver to be undesirable at the time of giving (e.g., broken, malfunctioning, diseased, leaking, putrid, hazardous, malodorous, untrained, etc.), while, b) concealing the fact that the giver has already received his purchase price back through application of some other white trash artifice. Closely related to white trash rebate, white trash refund, white trash warranty claim, white trash exchange, etc.

Claudette, Claude's double 3/4 cousin, would not have been hesitant to complain that the "resting" gerbil he gave her on her 7th birthday hadn't moved in 3 days, had she known that she was the victim of a white trash regifting and that Claude had already obtained a refund plus a "disposal fee" thrown in as a bonus.

by texlex61 January 29, 2009

ICE-BEV Boundary

The extremely disruptive and messy period encompassing the transition from the era of the internal combustion engine ("ICE") and all of its associated technologies, industries, jobs, etc., to the Elon Musk inspired era of the battery electric vehicle ("BEV"). This period will be designated by future archaeologists to span the 15-year period from 2020 to 2035, when the world weaned itself from petroleum, graduated from the fossil fuel economy, and entered its electric future. Also known as "Tesla Time."

Of those who lived through the ICE-BEV Boundary, the winners were comprised of those who anticipated the change and seized the opportunities.

by texlex61 December 9, 2020

inattentive to the road's needs

The official reason the chicken crossed the road.

After years of intense psychotherapy, the road's psychoanalyst penned his conclusive diagnosis "the chicken unknowingly committed a grave error, transitting from its permitted location to an unsanctioned area, pathologically and permanently violating the delicate psyche of the highly sensitized patient, because it was perceived as an inconsiderate act and extremely inattentive to the Road's needs. Alas, the patient is destined to be similarly crossed by many, if not most, of those it may expect to encounter in the future."

by texlex61 January 30, 2009

punnisch

To abuse with play on wordplay.

Puntiglio, an accomplished swordsman, was dismayed to discover that his adversary, "S," could so easily punnisch him with his deft S-wordplay.

by texlex61 January 30, 2009