texlex61's definitions

White Trash Rebate

Application of various disreputable and/or fraudulent strategies calculated to evade the limitations of rebate offer fine print and obtain a rebate to which one would not otherwise be entitled. Closely related to white trash echange, white trash refund, white trash warranty claim, white trash regifting, etc.

Horace, a retirement village mailroom attendant, drew heavily upon his innate sense of fiscal ingenuity, when he overcame the limitations of the "One Rebate Per Household" restriction by using a white trash rebate scheme to pocket dozens of $5 denture creme rebate checks.

by texlex61 January 27, 2009

White Trash Refund

Application of various disreputable and/or fraudulent strategies calculated to obtain a refund to which one would not otherwise be entitled. Closely related to white trash exchange, white trash rebate, white trash warranty claim, white trash regifting, etc.

Percy, expressing extreme discomfort, quickly negotiated a white trash refund of the cost (with tax) of his pricey hemorrhoid preparation, because he "didn't get home from the store with it" and "had had to resort to other means."

by texlex61 January 28, 2009

White Trash Warranty Claim

Application of various disreputable and/or fraudulent strategies calculated to obtain a warranty repair or replacement to which one would not otherwise be entitled. Closely related to white trash exchange, white trash rebate, white trash refund, white trash regifting, etc.

Cletus, fearing that his high-dollar videocam would fail once the 5-year extended warranty period expired, obtained a full-value replacement with a well-crafted white trash warranty claim, after correctly surmising that 10 seconds in the microwave effectively simulated a covered lightning strike and/or electrical surge.

by texlex61 January 29, 2009

White Trash Regifting

Application of various disreputable and/or dishonest strategies, employed by the giver in a regifting situation, calculated to deceive the recipient into a) believing that the gift was not known by the giver to be undesirable at the time of giving (e.g., broken, malfunctioning, diseased, leaking, putrid, hazardous, malodorous, untrained, etc.), while, b) concealing the fact that the giver has already received his purchase price back through application of some other white trash artifice. Closely related to white trash rebate, white trash refund, white trash warranty claim, white trash exchange, etc.

Claudette, Claude's double 3/4 cousin, would not have been hesitant to complain that the "resting" gerbil he gave her on her 7th birthday hadn't moved in 3 days, had she known that she was the victim of a white trash regifting and that Claude had already obtained a refund plus a "disposal fee" thrown in as a bonus.

by texlex61 January 29, 2009

income-odious

A wage that is grossly inadequate given the undesirable nature of the task.

Rtrell loudly declined minimum-wage employment debriding the bed sores of grossly obese shut-ins, proclaiming "Rtrell don't scrub no stanky fat ass for no income-odious wage!"

by texlex61 January 29, 2009

malpheasants

1. (prim. def.) Wrongdoing or wrongful acts by certain large birds of the order Galliformes while acting in an offcial capacity.

2. (alt. def.) Wrongdoing or wrongful acts committed against certain large birds of the order Galliformes while acting in an offcial capacity.

Volunteer Deputy Constable (and part-time unarmed sporting event security enforcement officer) Russell Peabody committed an act of gross malpheasants (alt. def.) when he planted some throw down grass-seed-based scat near two colorful male Galliformes in a crude (and disgusting) attempt to justify their arrest (and prompt death by BBQ) pursuant to trumped up allegations of petty malpheasants (prim. def.) involving the unauthorized consumption of a partial ruck-sack of county grass seed from the football field maintenance shed during the local Punnischt, OK, high school's annual trouncing by the visiting "Fight'n Pheasants" from West Lafarge, OK.

by texlex61 January 29, 2009

texlex

An artificial, pseudonymical, acronymaceus, sobriquet, synthesized from a short, familiar form of "Texas" and "lex" (Greek for "word" and Latin for "law"), assumed by the original designator (and oft adopted by numerous pretenders of varying quality and trailing digital suffixii), intended, hoped, and/or calculated to represent, exhibit, and/or affect or convey a demonstrably but circumspectly delivered and highly qualified pretension to an enlightened, lettered, refined, urbane style of semantictious discourse, while completely, successfully, and self-pleasuringly avoiding legal liability, responsibility, and/or abuse for anything expressed or suggested, stated, not stated, and/or implied or not implied in any fashion, typically by employing and stringing together a sufficiently strained series of prolixly faux erudite acute and/or obtusely quasi-redundant juxtapositions of implicit and/or explicit notations, annotations, connotations, salutations, pointless alliterations, and/or self-coined words, phrases, and/or memes, clever and often inscrutably non sequitorial turns of phrase, outrageously banal phrase after endlessly loathsome phrase, discarding and, at the same, scruptulously adhering to no particular and rigourously to certain bizarre strategies and/or lack of same (i.e., extant non conventions) respecting ~aberrant usages^of^punctuation, grammar, stYle, voice (vox/voce), idiom (including idiomatopeia), and effectively obfuscating, corrupting, punnischingand/or ironizing subject matter for one's own twisted and idiosyncratically rewarding benefit, amusement, and/or entertainment in a manner likely to simply piss off time (British usage), vent venom by penning an anticipatorily unsent riposte in response to a random objectionable email forward, and/or to further fuel an undeniably undeserved, but well-earned, although self-effacingly and adamantly deflected, modestly-expressed, non sense of superiority...because he's a Texas lawyer, dammit...or because he obsequiously imagines that a culimating, pandering attempt at complimenting the present venue and its diligently attentive censors will persuade any deciding said officials to approve this tortuously expansive self-reference (see beginning of entry).

Politicians, philosophers, and the insane are often guilty (or, not guilty by reason of connections, obscurity, or insanity, in that order) of a texlex when they speak much and say nothing.

by texlex61 January 29, 2009