ss's definitions

gert

Big or very

Christ! That elephant's bloody gert.

by ss March 19, 2004

jump value

The monetary difference between your current salary and what employers are courting you with. Was common in the 90s with web developers and solution architects when they were switching jobs frequently to have jump values of five figures when all bonuses and incentives were calculated. This number was often compared against the potential for salary hikes with an existing employer over x years, but also as a way to guage one's 'rank' or value in the .com revolution.

-Right now I've got a jump value of $20k, and this company is actively recruiting me, so I'm thinking about doing it.
--Do it! Jump!
-Yeah, if I stay at my current job, I can only expect 5% raises annually, plus 4k in incentive bonuses, so I'd make a hell of a lot more money in that two years if I jump now!

by SS January 22, 2004

lage

Noun: marijuana, weed, grass

Verb: (To Lage) the act of smoking marijuana. The opposite of rage.

Adj/Adv: (Laged) the state of mind of being stoned

noun: Let's go smoke some lage.

verb: I laged earlier and am so hungry right now. I don't want to rage, I want to lage!

adj./adv.: That laged idiot forgot he had a pot of boiling water on the stove.

by SS February 29, 2004

HTML monkey

Someone who does the content maintenance for a web site that could technically be performed by a monkey with a typewriter -- the HTML work nobody wants to do, usually entry-level, dues-paying work in the web world.

But... Joe's the HTML Monkey! If you lay him off, who's going to do the content updates? None of the developers want to do it, it's beneath them!

by SS January 22, 2004

mowatt

Penis. Euphemistic term in honor of tight-end Zeke Mowatt, late of the New England Patiots and New York Giants, who famously shook his member at a female reporter, Lisa Olson, who had gained entrance to the Patriots' lockerroom in 1991. A media firestorm and sexual harassment lawsuit ensued and Zeke's place in lustmolch history was established.

Zeke's enormous mowatt was both a blessing and a curse--making him the idol of an entire generation of young men, but leaving him with an awkward gait and crippling child-support obligations.

by ss May 13, 2005

black and tan

A mixed beer drink, usually comprised of Guiness and Bass or Guiness and Harp's.

Give me a Black and Tan, barkeep!

by SS January 22, 2004

Last mile

1. the circuit between your house and the telco, typically the biggest problem in getting a quality connection to the Internet.
2. the final leg of any journey
3. the final delivery mechanism for anything

this portal solution is the 'last mile' between our company's data and its employees

by SS January 22, 2004