2 definitions by shredder666

Asses up

Asses up is a game played in parks, schoolyards or anywhere kids can find a large flat wall to throw a ball against, like the one in Buchmuller Park in Secaucus. The ball of choice is a sponge ball or “spongie,” or even a tennis ball. Basically, you have 2 or more kids throwing the ball against the wall and each person has to catch the ball. If you drop the ball 1 or more times (depending on the rules established), you have to put your ass up against the wall to be beaned by each other person playing the game. Sometimes, the guy throwing the ball can call out someone’s name and that person has to be the one to catch the ball. If you fail to catch the ball, ASSES UP! The game is a lot more fun if you play with fat kids who aren’t quick enough to catch the ball. Plus, their butts make great targets.

Kid 1: We are going down to Buchmuller Park to play Asses Up, are you in?

Kid 2: Be nice when throwing the ball at my butt, Dr. DeAngelis just gave me a shot of penicillin.

by shredder666 August 16, 2011

wiffis

An offshoot of baseball played in parks on basketball or tennis courts, or in big gymnasiums. It’s a game for kids who cannot afford to play proper sports that require some type of fee to join. It’s played either by running the bases or automatics. It gets its name from combining wiffle and tennis since the ball of choice is usually a tennis ball. It’s unlike stickball where a smooth gas ball and an actual stick are used. It can be played a multiple of ways. It can be fast-pitch against a wall with a box that is the strikezone, and usually one on one or two on two. In this scenario, it is usually automatics. The bat is a standard wiffle ball bat with the knob cut off and newspaper is stuffed into it to give it some weight. Then, electrical tape is wrapped around the barrel of the bat, and sometimes a tape knob is made. Ground rules are dictated by setting. See definition of automatics. When you can fill a whole team on a court, you run the bases, and it’s usually bounce pitch, so as to avoid chasing balls when there is no wall behind you. Since the pitch comes in as a meatball, you cannot hit them out of the park, that’s usually an automatic 3 outs. You need to swing with control. Hitting the fence on a line drive is usually a homerun. Number of players varies, as do the rules depending on the number of players.

Kid 1: Hey, are we playing wiffis down at Buchmuller Park?

Kid 2: bases or automatics?

Kid 1: it’s just the two of us numb-nuts, automatics of course!

by shredder666 November 9, 2010