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scorpionmintred's definitions

monkey poop

1. The feces a monkey exudes.
2. The feces your mom exudes.
3. The act of throwing feces at your nemesis, or simply someone who disagrees with you.
Boss: "You should work overtime this weekend."
Worker: {Poops in underwear.}
Boss: "What is that smell?"
Worker: {Throws poop at boss.} "You."

- or -

Man: "Give me head now, woman!"
Woman: "No, I am on the rag, and I am a giant bitch. I may as well be a lesbian."
Man: {Poops his bed.}
Woman: "Why did you just poop the bed?"
Man: {Throws feces at woman.} "Give me head."

- or -

Supermarket Clerk: "Why are you buying so many tampons?"
Bag Boy: "Seriously, are you on the rag or what?"
Menstruating Woman: {Lifts skirt and sprays diarrhea while rotating.} "Yes."

- or -

Lesbian 1: "Why is my fist covered in poop?"
Lesbian 2: "Wrong hole."
by scorpionmintred December 30, 2003
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Red Baron

1. (n.) A man who presumably flew planes in a fine manner in World War One.

2. (n.) A crap pizza that many school children eat because their parents are too poor.

3. (v.) The act of donning a monocle before sexual congress with a woman who is having her menses. Traditionally, a small yet stylish moustache should be worn as well. The man inflates his chest and walks to the bed with the bearing of a proper gentleman. He then dips at least two fingers into the waiting woman's blood-filled snatch, finger-painting the German cross onto his chest.

The true connoisseur of this maneuver will keep the monocle in his eye until reaching sexual release.
"The Red Baron shot down a bunch of planes once. It is very 'urban' of me to define this term in a serious fashion. I will now ride the subway and watch the History Channel."

- or -

"This Red Baron pizza is flavorful. Unfortunately the flavor is crap."

- or -

"I was about to give this woman the Red Baron last night, however when she saw my monocle she got dressed and fled in a hasty manner. So I put on my robe and wizard's hat."

- or -

"She died when I came and she inhaled my falling monocle."

- or -

"I attempted the Red Baron last night, but she wasn't on the rag. I ended up using some poor man's menses to finish."
by scorpionmintred February 14, 2007
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unfortunate menses

1. When a woman's period begins at an inopportune time.

2. When a woman's period blood comes out all clotted and chunky, and a man observes it.

3. When a woman's vagina bleeds, and somehow the blood gets on your mother.
1. I was going down on that bitch when suddenly instead of pussy juices, blood started gushing all over my face giving me a clown moustache. That's some unfortunate menses.

2. That meatball stew was some unfortunate menses.

3. My mother hates unfortunate menses, but your mom loves it.
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
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Easter Basket

General term for all of the parts of a woman related to the storage and dispersal of eggs, including the ovaries, uterus, and vagina.
Woman: "Ow! That bitch just kicked me right in the Easter Basket!"

- or -

Art Critic: "Damn, Picasso, I've never before seen a square Easter Basket".

- or -

OBGYN: "I haven't seen an Easter Basket this messed up since my mom got the egg dye mixed up with the pancake batter".

- or -

ER Doctor: (Removing fragments of chicken-egg shells from inside a woman's vagina) "You really aren't clear on the concept, are you?"
by scorpionmintred February 17, 2010
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rude awakening

The act of putting a thumb over the mouth of a bottle of champagne and then agitating it order to bring it to the highest possible pressure. The bottle is then thrust into the anus of an unsuspecting girl (or, preferrably, a sleeping whore), thereby shooting champagne into her rectal cavity violently.

Generally, the finer the whore, the finer the champagne that should be used. In the case of a 4 dollar "ho", malt liquor may be used.
"The recoil from that rude awakening was quite a mess."

- or -

The malt liquor must have fermented in her ass after the rude awakening, because I went to work drunk after that 9 AM rim job.

- or -

"The prostitute wanted to charge me extra after I gave her a rude awakening, but I told her to f' off and left. She couldn't get up without malt liquor leaking out her ass, so she made an un-hasty chase."

- or -

"I rushed my rude awakening and hit the wrong hole. Wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't on the menses at the time. Let's just say there was cotton and chunks of blood everywhere.
by scorpionmintred October 1, 2005
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white eyeliner

The act of ejaculating on a woman's face -- via either wild masturbation or a priceless blow job -- and then using your cock to rub jism around the woman's eye as if applying eyeliner.

The woman is then ready for a fanstastic night on the town! All that remains is for you to put on her dirty sanchez disguise!
Somehow, she looked less like a whore, and more like your mom, when I applied some white eyeliner.
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
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slanty snatch

The vagina of an asian woman. Especially a chinese woman.
Her slanty snatch looked normal to all other chinese people because their eyes are slanted in the opposite direction.
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
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