scorpionmintred's definitions
1. (n.) The ape whom once conquered hot-air-ballooning, as only man had previously done.
2. (v.) The act of, upon ejaculating into a woman of ill-repute, jamming as many bananas as possible into her vagina. The man then whips out a spoon, takes a scoop, and offers the woman a serving of the mashed bananas. She then declines, and runs from the room screaming. The man then consumes the spoonful, takes his briefcase, and leaves.
2. (v.) The act of, upon ejaculating into a woman of ill-repute, jamming as many bananas as possible into her vagina. The man then whips out a spoon, takes a scoop, and offers the woman a serving of the mashed bananas. She then declines, and runs from the room screaming. The man then consumes the spoonful, takes his briefcase, and leaves.
"God Bless that Ape Wellington for showing us all that extremely boring balloon flight is possible!"
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Friend: "Do you smell bananas?"
Woman: "No."
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Woman: "Have you found the problem?"
OBGYN: "No, but this here is delicious."
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Tickles Brick Tickles: "Honey! Come back! I thought you would enjoy it!"
Woman: "Why?"
Tickles Brick Tickles: "At least your twat doesn't smell like fish."
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Ape: "Wunhh wunhh wooo wooo!"
Woman (to self): "O, why did I ever have sex with an ape? He has no idea what goes where!"
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Friend: "Do you smell bananas?"
Woman: "No."
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Woman: "Have you found the problem?"
OBGYN: "No, but this here is delicious."
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Tickles Brick Tickles: "Honey! Come back! I thought you would enjoy it!"
Woman: "Why?"
Tickles Brick Tickles: "At least your twat doesn't smell like fish."
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Ape: "Wunhh wunhh wooo wooo!"
Woman (to self): "O, why did I ever have sex with an ape? He has no idea what goes where!"
by scorpionmintred February 27, 2009
Get the Ape Wellington mug.by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
Get the Count Von Pennies mug.1. Angry cow. (Possibly see your mom).
2. BSE; Rots the brains of cows and jerks who eat cow brains. (Possibly see Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Or was that monkey brains? Whatever, it's feking weird anyway).
3. Giant lesbian who thinks she's hot. When you yank on her quadruple D breasts, she does not notice it because they're dragging on the floor already. But for some reason, skinny hot lesbians find her attractive, but she is mad because men still exist, and her vagina cannot be found by said skinny hot lesbian. If you are a man, she will not appreciate you existing.
2. BSE; Rots the brains of cows and jerks who eat cow brains. (Possibly see Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Or was that monkey brains? Whatever, it's feking weird anyway).
3. Giant lesbian who thinks she's hot. When you yank on her quadruple D breasts, she does not notice it because they're dragging on the floor already. But for some reason, skinny hot lesbians find her attractive, but she is mad because men still exist, and her vagina cannot be found by said skinny hot lesbian. If you are a man, she will not appreciate you existing.
Your mom might be mad cow type one, but she can't be mad cow type two unless your dad had sex with a straight woman who carried you to term. Unless you are a girl, then your mom may be touching you when you're asleep, on the boobies, perhaps.
by scorpionmintred December 30, 2003
Get the mad cow mug.by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
Get the HIV Lane mug.A pump consisting of a screw within a cylinder. When the screw is turned, water is moved from one end to the other.
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When Archimedes has sex with his wife.
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When you yell 'eureka' upon ejaculating.
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An ancient invention that can be used in the vagina to evacuate excess menses.
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When Archimedes has sex with his wife.
-- or --
When you yell 'eureka' upon ejaculating.
-- or --
An ancient invention that can be used in the vagina to evacuate excess menses.
by scorpionmintred November 19, 2004
Get the archimedes screw mug.A superhero born in North Pussyville, descended from the clan of Wettingwetwet.
Superpowers include: Hiding, Becoming Erect (similar to Penis Power), Pussy Gushing.
Nemises include: Confused Virgin, Angry Lesbian, and Africa.
Superfriends include: Loose Labia, Generous G-Spot, Vindictive Vulva, Vivacious Vibrator.
Favorite movies: Can't watch movies at cause of being stuffed in underpants all day.
Least favorite smell: Itself, when not washed for long periods of time.
Lease favorite crust: Dried menses.
Superpowers include: Hiding, Becoming Erect (similar to Penis Power), Pussy Gushing.
Nemises include: Confused Virgin, Angry Lesbian, and Africa.
Superfriends include: Loose Labia, Generous G-Spot, Vindictive Vulva, Vivacious Vibrator.
Favorite movies: Can't watch movies at cause of being stuffed in underpants all day.
Least favorite smell: Itself, when not washed for long periods of time.
Lease favorite crust: Dried menses.
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
Get the Danger Clit mug.1. (n.) A man who presumably flew planes in a fine manner in World War One.
2. (n.) A crap pizza that many school children eat because their parents are too poor.
3. (v.) The act of donning a monocle before sexual congress with a woman who is having her menses. Traditionally, a small yet stylish moustache should be worn as well. The man inflates his chest and walks to the bed with the bearing of a proper gentleman. He then dips at least two fingers into the waiting woman's blood-filled snatch, finger-painting the German cross onto his chest.
The true connoisseur of this maneuver will keep the monocle in his eye until reaching sexual release.
2. (n.) A crap pizza that many school children eat because their parents are too poor.
3. (v.) The act of donning a monocle before sexual congress with a woman who is having her menses. Traditionally, a small yet stylish moustache should be worn as well. The man inflates his chest and walks to the bed with the bearing of a proper gentleman. He then dips at least two fingers into the waiting woman's blood-filled snatch, finger-painting the German cross onto his chest.
The true connoisseur of this maneuver will keep the monocle in his eye until reaching sexual release.
"The Red Baron shot down a bunch of planes once. It is very 'urban' of me to define this term in a serious fashion. I will now ride the subway and watch the History Channel."
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"This Red Baron pizza is flavorful. Unfortunately the flavor is crap."
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"I was about to give this woman the Red Baron last night, however when she saw my monocle she got dressed and fled in a hasty manner. So I put on my robe and wizard's hat."
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"She died when I came and she inhaled my falling monocle."
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"I attempted the Red Baron last night, but she wasn't on the rag. I ended up using some poor man's menses to finish."
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"This Red Baron pizza is flavorful. Unfortunately the flavor is crap."
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"I was about to give this woman the Red Baron last night, however when she saw my monocle she got dressed and fled in a hasty manner. So I put on my robe and wizard's hat."
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"She died when I came and she inhaled my falling monocle."
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"I attempted the Red Baron last night, but she wasn't on the rag. I ended up using some poor man's menses to finish."
by scorpionmintred February 14, 2007
Get the Red Baron mug.