24 definitions by scorpionmintred
A pornographic sub-genre similar to cake farts wherein a person blows their nose into the open anus of another person. While the method of sexual gratification is unclear, it provides great humor to those involved.
"The asskerchief is an inefficient way to clear one's nasal passages."
- or -
Man: "I asked my wife if I could asskerchief her, like I saw on the internet."
Friend: "What did she say?"
Man: "She laughed at me and filed for divorce."
Friend: "That seems excessive."
Man: "Well I'm also a terrible husband."
- or -
Man: "I searched for asskerchief and then promptly decided to go back to normal porn."
Friend: "Normal?"
Man: "Well... MORE normal."
- or -
Man: "I asked my wife if I could asskerchief her, like I saw on the internet."
Friend: "What did she say?"
Man: "She laughed at me and filed for divorce."
Friend: "That seems excessive."
Man: "Well I'm also a terrible husband."
- or -
Man: "I searched for asskerchief and then promptly decided to go back to normal porn."
Friend: "Normal?"
Man: "Well... MORE normal."
by scorpionmintred March 13, 2019
1. Angry cow. (Possibly see your mom).
2. BSE; Rots the brains of cows and jerks who eat cow brains. (Possibly see Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Or was that monkey brains? Whatever, it's feking weird anyway).
3. Giant lesbian who thinks she's hot. When you yank on her quadruple D breasts, she does not notice it because they're dragging on the floor already. But for some reason, skinny hot lesbians find her attractive, but she is mad because men still exist, and her vagina cannot be found by said skinny hot lesbian. If you are a man, she will not appreciate you existing.
2. BSE; Rots the brains of cows and jerks who eat cow brains. (Possibly see Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Or was that monkey brains? Whatever, it's feking weird anyway).
3. Giant lesbian who thinks she's hot. When you yank on her quadruple D breasts, she does not notice it because they're dragging on the floor already. But for some reason, skinny hot lesbians find her attractive, but she is mad because men still exist, and her vagina cannot be found by said skinny hot lesbian. If you are a man, she will not appreciate you existing.
Your mom might be mad cow type one, but she can't be mad cow type two unless your dad had sex with a straight woman who carried you to term. Unless you are a girl, then your mom may be touching you when you're asleep, on the boobies, perhaps.
by scorpionmintred December 30, 2004
A pump consisting of a screw within a cylinder. When the screw is turned, water is moved from one end to the other.
-- or --
When Archimedes has sex with his wife.
-- or --
When you yell 'eureka' upon ejaculating.
-- or --
An ancient invention that can be used in the vagina to evacuate excess menses.
-- or --
When Archimedes has sex with his wife.
-- or --
When you yell 'eureka' upon ejaculating.
-- or --
An ancient invention that can be used in the vagina to evacuate excess menses.
by scorpionmintred November 19, 2004
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2004
When Picasso painted all these random people made of cubes.
-also-
When a woman's period comes out like chunks of ham from a soup.
-also-
When a woman's period comes out like chunks of ham from a soup.
Picasso's Friend: "Damn Picasso, why can't you paint people like normal? I hope they invent high-quality photographs soon."
-or-
Picasso: "Damn Wife, your cubic menstruations have inspired me to paint incorrect pictures of people."
-or-
German Man: "Damn Wife, I thought your sheizer was tasty, but this soup is the best!"
-or-
Woman: "Damn I thought that soup was good, but whatever is coming out of my twat is downright fabulous."
-or-
Picasso: "Damn Wife, your cubic menstruations have inspired me to paint incorrect pictures of people."
-or-
German Man: "Damn Wife, I thought your sheizer was tasty, but this soup is the best!"
-or-
Woman: "Damn I thought that soup was good, but whatever is coming out of my twat is downright fabulous."
by scorpionmintred March 24, 2004
After going down on a woman with unfortunate menses, the area around your mouth will be red, like a clown's.
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2004
The act of putting a thumb over the mouth of a bottle of champagne and then agitating it order to bring it to the highest possible pressure. The bottle is then thrust into the anus of an unsuspecting girl (or, preferrably, a sleeping whore), thereby shooting champagne into her rectal cavity violently.
Generally, the finer the whore, the finer the champagne that should be used. In the case of a 4 dollar "ho", malt liquor may be used.
Generally, the finer the whore, the finer the champagne that should be used. In the case of a 4 dollar "ho", malt liquor may be used.
"The recoil from that rude awakening was quite a mess."
- or -
The malt liquor must have fermented in her ass after the rude awakening, because I went to work drunk after that 9 AM rim job.
- or -
"The prostitute wanted to charge me extra after I gave her a rude awakening, but I told her to f' off and left. She couldn't get up without malt liquor leaking out her ass, so she made an un-hasty chase."
- or -
"I rushed my rude awakening and hit the wrong hole. Wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't on the menses at the time. Let's just say there was cotton and chunks of blood everywhere.
- or -
The malt liquor must have fermented in her ass after the rude awakening, because I went to work drunk after that 9 AM rim job.
- or -
"The prostitute wanted to charge me extra after I gave her a rude awakening, but I told her to f' off and left. She couldn't get up without malt liquor leaking out her ass, so she made an un-hasty chase."
- or -
"I rushed my rude awakening and hit the wrong hole. Wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't on the menses at the time. Let's just say there was cotton and chunks of blood everywhere.
by scorpionmintred October 2, 2005