scodder's definitions

monkey meat

Monkey meat is the meat of the Common Monkey (Monkitus vulgaris).

It is delicious in won ton soup, garnished with hot chilies, sesame oil, and a drizzle of monkey jizz.

Wu Fang said our monkey meat won ton soup was almost ready, but he was still jacking off the monkeys for the garnish.

by scodder May 1, 2010

monkey rape

Monkey rape is the regrettable practise of a tying a monkey up by his tail and then boning him up the ass.

Can be quite noisy.

Don's neighbors got used to the smell of bananas and monkey poo, and even to the sight of him doing monkey rape on a monkey hanging from his clothesline.

But they never got used to the screaming.

by scodder May 6, 2010

bite my nuts you moronic putz

"Bite my nuts you moronic putz," is an epithet used on people raiding apricot orchards in Israel.

Moishe had just climbed over the wall, and was sneaking up to an apricot tree when he heard the dreaded words, "Bite my nuts you moronic putz!"

He narrowly escaped, followed by a blast of rock salt.

by scodder May 28, 2010

horsetitute

A horsetitute is a horse who offers sex in exchange for things like carrots and alfalfa cubes.

As Morton thrust into the meaty loins of Dobbin, he was ecstatic to have found the services of a horsetitute.

The pillow talk afterwards was great too.

by scodder May 6, 2010

squintercourse

Squintercourse is two people with bad eyesight doing the wild thing.

Pasquale: So how did your night with Debbi go?

Enrico: We both took off our glasses and it turned into a total squintercourse.

I believe at one point I was boffing her bellybutton.

Pasquale: Yikes!

by scodder November 6, 2012

hog masturbator

A hog masturbator is someone who masturbates Harley motorcycles ("hogs").

A most unfortunate habit.

Sniffy the Pinhead, a known hog masturbator, was whacking off a Harley when a lug wrench hit him just above the ear.

He hang on for a half hour, twitching and drooling, before he mercifully passed away.

by scodder May 24, 2010

pantsy jaculation

Pantsy jaculation is where you blow your wad in your pants.

Can be quite embarrassing in social situations.

When Rolf saw Sandra's perfect nipples pressing against her shirt, he let out a low moan, and a wet stain appeared on the front of his pants.

"Did you just have a pantsy jaculation?" asked Danny.

"Yes!" sobbed Rolf, slinking for the exit.

by scodder May 3, 2010