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dave chappelle

An incredibly funny comedian who hosts his own show on Comedy Central. Even though his humor caters more towards urban Black-Americans, the sheer talent of Dave, and his wide variety of sketches makes his show well worth it for anyone to watch.
Next, on the Dave Chappelle Show, we focus on the days when "Keepin' It Real" goes horribly wrong.
by sarcastic March 29, 2004
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American Dream

What a crock of bullshit! Basically it is either;

1) A clever lie designed by the rich to trick the poor into (a) working longer hours for less pay, and to (b) purchase a shitload of useless material goods and services, both of which help give the rich more wealth while further impoverishing the poor.

or

2) Taking over other nations by force, stealing their resources, and installing puppet governments that control the flow of resources to America while destroying the cultures and infrastructure of said conquered nations.
The American Dream is to work 60 hours a week for minimum wage, spiral downwards into debt as a result of being stupid enough to get credit cards and to spend what little money you have on shiny, expensive products that are useless in value and function.
by sarcastic April 2, 2004
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Wal-Mart

One thing that pisses one off when buying anything at Wal-Mart is that only one or two checkout aisles are open, even during rush hour.

But on the bright side, Wal-Mart sells the latest computers dirt-cheap. All you have to do is uninstall Linux, throw away the CD, and install your favorite version of Windows, all for $399.99 or less.
At 2:30 in the morning, on my way back from a trip, I stopped at a local Wal-Mart to buy motor oil and coolant, and saw that the store was just as packed with frantic customers as it was at 2:30 in the afternoon. Yikes!
by sarcastic April 12, 2004
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Afrocentrism

A cult that was invented in the 1960s by misinformed (deluded) African Americans who worship ancient Egypt as the pinnacle of African civilization, forgetting that EGYPT IS THE ONLY PART OF AFRICA THAT IS GEOGRAPHICALLY CONNECTED TO EURASIA, which means that for thousands of years before Egypt or even Mesopotamia, black intermingled with white and yellow, and the Caucasian folks who built Mesopotamia gave their ideas to the MIXED-RACE natives of North Africa who eventually built Egypt.

Note: The ancient Egyptians even enslaved some of their darker-skinned brethren from south of the Sahara, whom they called Nubians.
The reason why Afrocentrism should be classified as a cult is because of the way that African Americans distorted their limited and biased interpretation of Muslim-influenced Northwest African cultures.
by sarcastic April 15, 2004
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Stupidity

The perpetual trademark of our species. The random and unpredictable state of mind that causes and governs wars, unwanted pregnancies, political actions, divorces, ripoffs, reality TV shows, copycat crimes, cults, self-injury, and lawsuits.
Since the stupid in our midst are breeding uncontrollably while the intelligent minority are dying out, one can easily predict that our stupidity will far outpace our technological progress within a few decades, and propel us back to the Stone Age or extinction with in a few centuries.
You can never go broke by underestimating the stupidity of the human race.
by sarcastic December 13, 2003
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American cheese

Proof that oil and water DO mix after all.

This nasty-tasting, solidified soy oil is used as a substitute for real cheese, which at least has nutrition and is ACTUALLY digestible.
I made the terrible mistake of buying American cheese (hey, it cost half as much as Cheddar). The next day, I woke up with explosive diarrhea because that shit just went right through my digestive tract.
by sarcastic December 17, 2003
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Mad Cow Disease

A fatal brain disease in cattle that is also known as Bovine Spongiform Encephalitis (BSE). It is caused by harmful proteins called prions, and the symptoms are similar to Altzheimers, because the brain basically turns into a useless sponge.
Originally, Mad Cow was a brain disease in sheep called scrapie, but was eventually transferred to cows by some fucking cheapass farmers who saved a few bucks by mixing sheep brains in the cattle feed, knowing damn well that cattle are herbivores. Humans who eat Mad Cow beef develop a similar brain-wasting disease called Creutzfeld-Jakob disease.
As for the Mad Cow scare in the U.S., the cow that was tested positive for the disease was STILL sent to the slaughterhouse and its meat shipped out two weeks before the story made it to the news. And every step now taken to prevent the disease from spreading to humans may be too late because there may have already been hundreds or thousands of Mad Cows that have been slaughtered, chopped up, purchased by consumers, eaten, digested, and metabolized. Oh well. It's only a matter of time before some of us start to drop dead from Mad Cow disease.
But on the other hand, Mad Cow disease may also be a hoax because there are also confirmed cases of non-beef eaters, vegetarians, and vegans who have died from diseases that are very similar to Mad Cow.
by sarcastic December 25, 2003
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