sarcastic's definitions

Amway

This pyramid scheme/Multi-Level Marketing cult is also known as Quickstar or Quixtar.

This cult reaps huge profits from making expensive motivational videoes/tapes and numerous seminars which basically try to convince you to purchase even more motivational videoes/tapes. To even make a profit from selling their ridiculously EXPENSIVE product line, you have to already have a shitload of money, preferrably in the hundred$ of thou$and$, which is why they have celebrities and sports-stars promoting their crap.

I made the terrible mistake of attending an Amway/Quickstar seminar last week. 146 minutes of my life wasted listening to a bunch of rich white people preaching religious sermons about how their products will "change your life" if you purchase their motivational crap in order to become even more interested in their cult and their pricey products.

by sarcastic June 20, 2004

Stupidity

The perpetual trademark of our species. The random and unpredictable state of mind that causes and governs wars, unwanted pregnancies, political actions, divorces, ripoffs, reality TV shows, copycat crimes, cults, self-injury, and lawsuits.
Since the stupid in our midst are breeding uncontrollably while the intelligent minority are dying out, one can easily predict that our stupidity will far outpace our technological progress within a few decades, and propel us back to the Stone Age or extinction with in a few centuries.

You can never go broke by underestimating the stupidity of the human race.

by sarcastic December 13, 2003

American cheese

Proof that oil and water DO mix after all.

This nasty-tasting, solidified soy oil is used as a substitute for real cheese, which at least has nutrition and is ACTUALLY digestible.

I made the terrible mistake of buying American cheese (hey, it cost half as much as Cheddar). The next day, I woke up with explosive diarrhea because that shit just went right through my digestive tract.

by sarcastic December 17, 2003

pre-nup

Prenuptial agreement.

Theoretically it is a contract signed by both a man and a woman before marriage, and helps with splitting the property between both parties in the event of a divorce.

A temporary and useless piece of paper that expires after a short time and can be voidable at any time by the woman, thanks to the fact that the legal system is now in her control.

Joe watched in horror as his ex-wife Suzy tore up the pre-nup document in the courtroom and the judge ordered him to hand over his house and life-savings to her.

by sarcastic May 29, 2004

Weapons of Mass Destruction

the U.S. has plenty of them, and they used them without remorse in the past.

Anyone remember Hiroshima, Nagasaki, and Vietnam? All were devastated by America's use of Weapons of Mass Destruction. For instance, nuclear bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and Agent Orange on Vietnam.

by sarcastic July 7, 2003

Beloved

One of the worst and most overhyped movies ever made, aside from Gigli. supposedly it is based on a real-life story of a runaway slave, but the only true parts of the movie were scenes where she escaped from her master and the scene where she killed her child in order to evade recapture. The movie features disturbing content such as fat Oprah urinating, a reincarnated teenage ghost of a female child having sex with an old man, a dog with its eyes out of its sockets, and two white boys drinking milk from Oprah's breasts.

I can't believe I went all the way to the theater and paid $8.00 to watch that shit!

Even the black American community, which was the target audience, hates Oprah Winfrey's 'Beloved' movie.

by sarcastic June 20, 2004

Orbital

Producer of some of the best techno/electronica music I have ever heard. This guy apparently tries to make the music as non-repetitive as possible, which is a rarity for the techno music genre.

A couple of Orbital's songs were used in the original Mortal Kombat movie, which is still the only videogame-based movie that is actually good.

by sarcastic July 10, 2004