sarcastic's definitions

Pizza Hut

I went over there last week, and while I was ordering my food, I saw one of the drivers leave the restroom and wash his hands IN THE DISHWATER, even though the sink was right next to the bathroom door. God, that was disgusting! Makes you want to think twice, or thrice, before ordering out, because the utensils used to cut the pizzas may have also been washed in that same water.

Or maybe I was just unfortunate enough to go to a Pizza Hut restaurant which didn't have a wall that blocks the customer's view of the back of the store, but still, that worker should have known better.

by sarcastic January 26, 2004

sucubus

succubus

An old Scottish word for a female demon who feeds by attatching herself to an unfortunate male and draining his life-force. Using sex and psychological torture, she forces the man to devote his entire energy towards satisfying her short-term desires. When she has her fill, she discards what is left of him by the wayside and seeks other males to exploit.

This definition also perfctly describes 99% of Western women, ESPECIALLY American women.

If you end up getting assraped in divorce court, and the legal system forces you to hand over everything you worked hard for your entire life to your ex-wife, and you end up paying alimony for children that are not even yours, you probably married a sucubus.

by sarcastic May 29, 2004

Halloween

All Hallow's Eve, the evening of October 31st.

Halloween was Christianity`s failed attempt at eradicating paganism in the 9th Century.
Originally, the pagans dedicated the period of late October to early November as a time for honoring their ancestors. Then along came the Christians, who declared November 1st to be All Saints Day and forced the pagans to honor that day instead. The pagans simply celebrated their ancient traditions in secret on the evening before November 1st.
When the Medieval Era ended, and the age of Protestantism began, the pagan tradition was celebrated more openly, eventually becoming an evening holiday in the Western Hemisphere.

During Halloween, the children, dressed up in their favorite costumes, go door-to-door throughout the neighborhood, asking for candy or snacks.

by sarcastic November 16, 2004

life insurance

The reason why women usually kill their husbands.

Miss. Smith received life imprisonment for killing her husband for the insurance money.

by sarcastic September 1, 2003

napster

You can all thank the RIAA for Napster's death, because its incredibly stupid and costly efforts to destroy Napster have helped make file trading far more popular than ever.

If only the corporate fatasses empraced Napster instead of killing it. Now they can't do a goddamn thing about stopping all those bootleggers and hackers they pissed off.

by sarcastic May 26, 2003

Afrocentrism

A cult that was invented in the 1960s by misinformed (deluded) African Americans who worship ancient Egypt as the pinnacle of African civilization, forgetting that EGYPT IS THE ONLY PART OF AFRICA THAT IS GEOGRAPHICALLY CONNECTED TO EURASIA, which means that for thousands of years before Egypt or even Mesopotamia, black intermingled with white and yellow, and the Caucasian folks who built Mesopotamia gave their ideas to the MIXED-RACE natives of North Africa who eventually built Egypt.

Note: The ancient Egyptians even enslaved some of their darker-skinned brethren from south of the Sahara, whom they called Nubians.

The reason why Afrocentrism should be classified as a cult is because of the way that African Americans distorted their limited and biased interpretation of Muslim-influenced Northwest African cultures.

by sarcastic April 15, 2004

AOL

While the service does suck dogshit, and is incredibly slow at times, and is full of glitches, the REAL fun comes when you are cancelling your membership, because the representatives will do anything to keep you using the AOL service, and they don't seem to understand the word "NO".

Joe: I would like to cancel my AOL membership.
AOL Rep: Why?
Joe: I have found AOL to be expensive for my budget and I am switching to a cheaper alternative instead.
AOL Rep: $28 a month is not expesive!
Joe: It is when you are a college student, and if NetZero and Juno are offering the same Internet package for $15 a month.
AOL Rep: Alright. How about we just sign you to our Netscape plan for $19.99?
Joe: No thank you.
AOL Rep: Um....how about you tell us exactly how long you will not be using AOL?
Joe: Not ever again.
AOL Rep: You know, you are ruining my chance to get another pay bonus.
Joe: And I could care less. Please just cancel my account already.
AOL Rep: Shit! he's not as gullible as we thought.....did I just say that out loud?
Joe: Yup.

by sarcastic August 21, 2004