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American cheese

Proof that oil and water DO mix after all.

This nasty-tasting, solidified soy oil is used as a substitute for real cheese, which at least has nutrition and is ACTUALLY digestible.
I made the terrible mistake of buying American cheese (hey, it cost half as much as Cheddar). The next day, I woke up with explosive diarrhea because that shit just went right through my digestive tract.
by sarcastic December 17, 2003
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Mad Cow Disease

A fatal brain disease in cattle that is also known as Bovine Spongiform Encephalitis (BSE). It is caused by harmful proteins called prions, and the symptoms are similar to Altzheimers, because the brain basically turns into a useless sponge.
Originally, Mad Cow was a brain disease in sheep called scrapie, but was eventually transferred to cows by some fucking cheapass farmers who saved a few bucks by mixing sheep brains in the cattle feed, knowing damn well that cattle are herbivores. Humans who eat Mad Cow beef develop a similar brain-wasting disease called Creutzfeld-Jakob disease.
As for the Mad Cow scare in the U.S., the cow that was tested positive for the disease was STILL sent to the slaughterhouse and its meat shipped out two weeks before the story made it to the news. And every step now taken to prevent the disease from spreading to humans may be too late because there may have already been hundreds or thousands of Mad Cows that have been slaughtered, chopped up, purchased by consumers, eaten, digested, and metabolized. Oh well. It's only a matter of time before some of us start to drop dead from Mad Cow disease.
But on the other hand, Mad Cow disease may also be a hoax because there are also confirmed cases of non-beef eaters, vegetarians, and vegans who have died from diseases that are very similar to Mad Cow.
by sarcastic December 25, 2003
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Pizza Hut

I went over there last week, and while I was ordering my food, I saw one of the drivers leave the restroom and wash his hands IN THE DISHWATER, even though the sink was right next to the bathroom door. God, that was disgusting! Makes you want to think twice, or thrice, before ordering out, because the utensils used to cut the pizzas may have also been washed in that same water.
Or maybe I was just unfortunate enough to go to a Pizza Hut restaurant which didn't have a wall that blocks the customer's view of the back of the store, but still, that worker should have known better.
by sarcastic January 26, 2004
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tekken

by sarcastic February 24, 2003
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MTV

The motherfuckers who scrapped all the cool rock and hip-hopartists for non-singers like Eminem, Puff Daddy, Britney Spears, and Blink 182.
MTV might as well just call itself Karaoke Television (KTV).
by sarcastic February 24, 2003
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Panzer Dragoon

by sarcastic February 24, 2003
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vegetarian

If you eat birds and marine animals, and any products made from animals, YOU ARE NOT A VEGETARIAN! And animal products include Jello, yogurt, ice-cream, butter, and eggs. Dumbass.
Vegetarian: I have been a vegetarian for eight years and I eat chicken, duck, fish, crabs, lobsters, shrimp, and oysters.
Meat Eater: (laughing) You are not a vegetarian.
Vegetarian: Yes I am.
Meat Eater: (pulls out biology book) Let's see here...(turns to bird anatomy) I certainly don't see plants with these kinds of organs...(turns to fish anatomy) or these organs...(turns to lobster anatomy) or these organs...(turns to oyster anatomy) or these organs. Have you even seen any of these animals while they are alive? What makes them so different from eating a dead cow or pig or sheep?
Vegetarian: (embarrased) Um...er...it's just that...um...I don't eat red meat, yeah and....um...red meat is blood meat..and..and..I DON'T LIKE BLOOD!
Meat Eater: But still you eat meat, and if you eat meat you are not a vegetarian.
Vegetarian: But..but..I AM! You're trying to deceive me!
Meat Eater: I'm deceiving you? You said you are a vegetarian but you eat meat. Both are contradictory.
Vegetarian: Fuck you! Fuck you and burn in Hell with your murderous meat eating evil (stabs Meat Eater with hidden knife).
Meat Eater: (groaning in pain) Wow. I thought vegetarians were actually peaceful, reasonable people.
by sarcastic April 23, 2003
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