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sarcastic's definitions

Thanksgiving

Modern Definition: An American tradition where people gorge on turkey until they puke and visit their relatives to eat even more turkey. Usually the stores start to get flooded with Christmas shoppers at this time.

Real meaning: Originally celebrated by the Pilgrims (early north-American settlers) as a remembrance of the time when they took full advantage of the local Native American tribes' knowledge of the land, invited them all over to a feast, slaughtered them all the next day, settled on their land, and looked westward to the vast, unconquered land that lay ahead of them.
I had barbecued pork ribs and fries on Thanksgiving day. To Hell with turkey. (heh heh heh)
by sarcastic November 26, 2003
mugGet the Thanksgivingmug.

American cheese

Proof that oil and water DO mix after all.

This nasty-tasting, solidified soy oil is used as a substitute for real cheese, which at least has nutrition and is ACTUALLY digestible.
I made the terrible mistake of buying American cheese (hey, it cost half as much as Cheddar). The next day, I woke up with explosive diarrhea because that shit just went right through my digestive tract.
by sarcastic December 17, 2003
mugGet the American cheesemug.

Stupidity

The perpetual trademark of our species. The random and unpredictable state of mind that causes and governs wars, unwanted pregnancies, political actions, divorces, ripoffs, reality TV shows, copycat crimes, cults, self-injury, and lawsuits.
Since the stupid in our midst are breeding uncontrollably while the intelligent minority are dying out, one can easily predict that our stupidity will far outpace our technological progress within a few decades, and propel us back to the Stone Age or extinction with in a few centuries.
You can never go broke by underestimating the stupidity of the human race.
by sarcastic December 13, 2003
mugGet the Stupiditymug.

Scion

The car looks like a fucking hearse. When I first saw someone in my town driving this ugly vehicle, I thought he was going to a funeral.
I can buy an old hearse from a car auction, add two extra seats in the back, give it a new paint job, put in a new engine, and it would look EXACTLY like the Toyota Scion, but half the price.
by sarcastic May 19, 2004
mugGet the Scionmug.

super turd

This is the most idiotic ranting I have ever seen on this site. Somebody please beat some sense into Sonyroolz. Then again, just beat the crap out of him.
I can't believe this brain-dead fanboy just called the greatest 16-bit console of all time a "Super Turd". I'll bet he has never even owned or at least rented a Super Nintendo in his life.
by sarcastic November 25, 2003
mugGet the super turdmug.

tofu

zacrii is right about tofu having more protein and amino acids than meat. However, he forgot to mention that most of those proteins and amino acids are not in a form that humans can digest, since the soy from which tofu is made from is NOT fermented using the millenia-old Asian techniques of processing the beans, which also help neutralize the estrogen-like toxins that soy has. In addition, the soy products are acid washed in aluminum vats, which increases the risk of metal poisoning.

And for those who say that tofu is a meat substitute, remember that tofu does NOT contain Vitamin B-12, a nutrient found naturally in animal products and synthesized for supplement pills using microscopic animals.
Regardless of the bullshit that hippies and vegans spew, there is NOTHING natural about tofu. If you do not believe me, take a good look at the ingredients used to make it, the many processing methods of tofu, and the additives. Most of which are carcinogenic.
by sarcastic June 23, 2003
mugGet the tofumug.

PETA

A hypocritical organization that will never be successful in the Arctic regions, Siberia, New Zealand, the desert regions of Australia, Muslim-dominated countries, China, Scotland, Iceland, and the developing nations of Africa, Asia, Central America, or South America.

Also notice that the People of Ethical Treatment of Animals seem to favor the cute, cuddly-wuddly, furry animals. What about the insects and arachnids? What about the fish, mollusks, and crustaceans? What about the bacteria? What about the reptiles? What about humans? Don't they all have rights too? Would it be animal cruelty if one washes with antibacterial soap?

The PETA is also actively funding a dog-genocide campaign in which any canine suspected to belong to the Pittbull variety (a loveable, family-friendly, loyal dog that is safe with children IF TRAINED PROPERLY) is immediately taken from the owner and killed. Doesn't matter if the dog is half-Pittbull, 1/32 Pittbull, or looks like a Pittbull, the poor pooch will be marked for death.

Ethical Treatment my ass.
The campaigns of the PETA organization will fail miserably in the developing nations of Africa, Asia, and South America because the people there, who for centuries have traditionally used animals as a primary mode of transportation, source of food, and method for planting/ploughing/harvesting crops, cannot afford to let their livestock roam free.

For every time the PETA pisses off humanity, I celebrate by barbecuing a steak or ribs.
by sarcastic June 15, 2004
mugGet the PETAmug.

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