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Amway

This pyramid scheme/Multi-Level Marketing cult is also known as Quickstar or Quixtar.

This cult reaps huge profits from making expensive motivational videoes/tapes and numerous seminars which basically try to convince you to purchase even more motivational videoes/tapes. To even make a profit from selling their ridiculously EXPENSIVE product line, you have to already have a shitload of money, preferrably in the hundred$ of thou$and$, which is why they have celebrities and sports-stars promoting their crap.
I made the terrible mistake of attending an Amway/Quickstar seminar last week. 146 minutes of my life wasted listening to a bunch of rich white people preaching religious sermons about how their products will "change your life" if you purchase their motivational crap in order to become even more interested in their cult and their pricey products.
by sarcastic June 20, 2004
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Thanksgiving

Modern Definition: An American tradition where people gorge on turkey until they puke and visit their relatives to eat even more turkey. Usually the stores start to get flooded with Christmas shoppers at this time.

Real meaning: Originally celebrated by the Pilgrims (early north-American settlers) as a remembrance of the time when they took full advantage of the local Native American tribes' knowledge of the land, invited them all over to a feast, slaughtered them all the next day, settled on their land, and looked westward to the vast, unconquered land that lay ahead of them.
I had barbecued pork ribs and fries on Thanksgiving day. To Hell with turkey. (heh heh heh)
by sarcastic November 26, 2003
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Scion

The car looks like a fucking hearse. When I first saw someone in my town driving this ugly vehicle, I thought he was going to a funeral.
I can buy an old hearse from a car auction, add two extra seats in the back, give it a new paint job, put in a new engine, and it would look EXACTLY like the Toyota Scion, but half the price.
by sarcastic May 19, 2004
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American Dream

What a crock of bullshit! Basically it is either;

1) A clever lie designed by the rich to trick the poor into (a) working longer hours for less pay, and to (b) purchase a shitload of useless material goods and services, both of which help give the rich more wealth while further impoverishing the poor.

or

2) Taking over other nations by force, stealing their resources, and installing puppet governments that control the flow of resources to America while destroying the cultures and infrastructure of said conquered nations.
The American Dream is to work 60 hours a week for minimum wage, spiral downwards into debt as a result of being stupid enough to get credit cards and to spend what little money you have on shiny, expensive products that are useless in value and function.
by sarcastic April 2, 2004
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Pizza Hut

I went over there last week, and while I was ordering my food, I saw one of the drivers leave the restroom and wash his hands IN THE DISHWATER, even though the sink was right next to the bathroom door. God, that was disgusting! Makes you want to think twice, or thrice, before ordering out, because the utensils used to cut the pizzas may have also been washed in that same water.
Or maybe I was just unfortunate enough to go to a Pizza Hut restaurant which didn't have a wall that blocks the customer's view of the back of the store, but still, that worker should have known better.
by sarcastic January 26, 2004
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Timeshare

See time share time-share.

An elaborate marketing scam designed to make victims purchase property that they don't really need. Typically this scam is used in vacation/resort towns like Williamsburg, Myrtle Beach, Las Vegas, and Orlando. After being lured to the places with offers of "Free Disney Tickets" or "Free Money", victims are made to endure a 90-120 minute sales presentation where they are shown around a series of semi-luxurious condos or apartments, and then persuaded to purchase a property using deceptive and highly-pressurized sales pitches.
After being shown around a fairly nice-looking apartment complex, the Timeshare salesman and the customer return to the main office to finalize the presentation.

Timeshare Rep: So, did you like the Quazi Glam properties?
Customer: Absolutely! The jacuzzi room was a nice touch, and the ocean view is spectacular.
Timeshare Rep: Now, I need to get my double-digit sales quota today, and I'm running terribly short on time, so let's get down to business. You said you are an Engineer, and you probably make like a shitload of money, so how would you like to purchase an apartment for $2,899 a month for 60 months?
Customer: Those apartments don't look like they cost that much!
Timeshare Rep: Aw come on now, work with me. (scribbles on a paper) Using a hooey mathematical formula I made up while showing you around, you can easily get one paid off in like, 14 months.
Customer: The price still does not justify the quality.
Timeshare Rep: Hmmm. How about I reduce the payment to $2,199 for 54 months. You can even invite your friends and relatives to rent it out and reduce your cost.
Customer: Let me think about it later.
Timeshare Rep: Okay. How about $1,799 for 48 months? I'll even throw in free maintenance and free lunches at the on-site bistro for 3 months.
Customer: I still need more time to consider this.
Timeshare Rep: You're breaking my balls here. $1,499 for 42 months, plus all of the benefits, and free heating?
Customer: Alright, fine. I'll buy an apartment.
Timeshare Rep: Great! Now sign on the dotted line before my 100 minute presentation is up (hands over a document).
Customer: (signng the document) Now what if I change my mind and decide to cancel my payment, do I get refunded?
Timeshare Rep: Um.....no. In fact, by signing up, you are now required to pay $2,899 up front, plus a $7,345 utility instalation fee, $13,500 pet-chauffer service, and a $1,766 asteroid-impact insurance fee.
Customer: Fuck.
Timeshare Rep: Thank you for purchasing a Quazi Glam property. Here's a complementary ticket to Jamal's Flea Market. Have a nice day. Sucker.
by sarcastic June 11, 2006
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Halloween

All Hallow's Eve, the evening of October 31st.

Halloween was Christianity`s failed attempt at eradicating paganism in the 9th Century.
Originally, the pagans dedicated the period of late October to early November as a time for honoring their ancestors. Then along came the Christians, who declared November 1st to be All Saints Day and forced the pagans to honor that day instead. The pagans simply celebrated their ancient traditions in secret on the evening before November 1st.
When the Medieval Era ended, and the age of Protestantism began, the pagan tradition was celebrated more openly, eventually becoming an evening holiday in the Western Hemisphere.
During Halloween, the children, dressed up in their favorite costumes, go door-to-door throughout the neighborhood, asking for candy or snacks.
by sarcastic November 16, 2004
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