The reason why it tastes like shit is because the candy that's left over is recycled for next Halloween. Hell, they even take the uneaten candy corn from the trash and wipe off the spit and crap.
I tried the candy corn at the party, and I puked up blood because it had expired to the point where the bacteria on it evolved into flesh-eating pathogens.
by sarcastic November 04, 2003
A hypocritical organization that will never be successful in the Arctic regions, Siberia, New Zealand, the desert regions of Australia, Muslim-dominated countries, China, Scotland, Iceland, and the developing nations of Africa, Asia, Central America, or South America.
Also notice that the People of Ethical Treatment of Animals seem to favor the cute, cuddly-wuddly, furry animals. What about the insects and arachnids? What about the fish, mollusks, and crustaceans? What about the bacteria? What about the reptiles? What about humans? Don't they all have rights too? Would it be animal cruelty if one washes with antibacterial soap?
The PETA is also actively funding a dog-genocide campaign in which any canine suspected to belong to the Pittbull variety (a loveable, family-friendly, loyal dog that is safe with children IF TRAINED PROPERLY) is immediately taken from the owner and killed. Doesn't matter if the dog is half-Pittbull, 1/32 Pittbull, or looks like a Pittbull, the poor pooch will be marked for death.
Ethical Treatment my ass.
Also notice that the People of Ethical Treatment of Animals seem to favor the cute, cuddly-wuddly, furry animals. What about the insects and arachnids? What about the fish, mollusks, and crustaceans? What about the bacteria? What about the reptiles? What about humans? Don't they all have rights too? Would it be animal cruelty if one washes with antibacterial soap?
The PETA is also actively funding a dog-genocide campaign in which any canine suspected to belong to the Pittbull variety (a loveable, family-friendly, loyal dog that is safe with children IF TRAINED PROPERLY) is immediately taken from the owner and killed. Doesn't matter if the dog is half-Pittbull, 1/32 Pittbull, or looks like a Pittbull, the poor pooch will be marked for death.
Ethical Treatment my ass.
The campaigns of the PETA organization will fail miserably in the developing nations of Africa, Asia, and South America because the people there, who for centuries have traditionally used animals as a primary mode of transportation, source of food, and method for planting/ploughing/harvesting crops, cannot afford to let their livestock roam free.
For every time the PETA pisses off humanity, I celebrate by barbecuing a steak or ribs.
For every time the PETA pisses off humanity, I celebrate by barbecuing a steak or ribs.
by sarcastic June 16, 2004
Prenuptial agreement.
Theoretically it is a contract signed by both a man and a woman before marriage, and helps with splitting the property between both parties in the event of a divorce.
A temporary and useless piece of paper that expires after a short time and can be voidable at any time by the woman, thanks to the fact that the legal system is now in her control.
Theoretically it is a contract signed by both a man and a woman before marriage, and helps with splitting the property between both parties in the event of a divorce.
A temporary and useless piece of paper that expires after a short time and can be voidable at any time by the woman, thanks to the fact that the legal system is now in her control.
Joe watched in horror as his ex-wife Suzy tore up the pre-nup document in the courtroom and the judge ordered him to hand over his house and life-savings to her.
by sarcastic May 29, 2004
by sarcastic May 21, 2003
See time share time-share.
An elaborate marketing scam designed to make victims purchase property that they don't really need. Typically this scam is used in vacation/resort towns like Williamsburg, Myrtle Beach, Las Vegas, and Orlando. After being lured to the places with offers of "Free Disney Tickets" or "Free Money", victims are made to endure a 90-120 minute sales presentation where they are shown around a series of semi-luxurious condos or apartments, and then persuaded to purchase a property using deceptive and highly-pressurized sales pitches.
An elaborate marketing scam designed to make victims purchase property that they don't really need. Typically this scam is used in vacation/resort towns like Williamsburg, Myrtle Beach, Las Vegas, and Orlando. After being lured to the places with offers of "Free Disney Tickets" or "Free Money", victims are made to endure a 90-120 minute sales presentation where they are shown around a series of semi-luxurious condos or apartments, and then persuaded to purchase a property using deceptive and highly-pressurized sales pitches.
After being shown around a fairly nice-looking apartment complex, the Timeshare salesman and the customer return to the main office to finalize the presentation.
Timeshare Rep: So, did you like the Quazi Glam properties?
Customer: Absolutely! The jacuzzi room was a nice touch, and the ocean view is spectacular.
Timeshare Rep: Now, I need to get my double-digit sales quota today, and I'm running terribly short on time, so let's get down to business. You said you are an Engineer, and you probably make like a shitload of money, so how would you like to purchase an apartment for $2,899 a month for 60 months?
Customer: Those apartments don't look like they cost that much!
Timeshare Rep: Aw come on now, work with me. (scribbles on a paper) Using a hooey mathematical formula I made up while showing you around, you can easily get one paid off in like, 14 months.
Customer: The price still does not justify the quality.
Timeshare Rep: Hmmm. How about I reduce the payment to $2,199 for 54 months. You can even invite your friends and relatives to rent it out and reduce your cost.
Customer: Let me think about it later.
Timeshare Rep: Okay. How about $1,799 for 48 months? I'll even throw in free maintenance and free lunches at the on-site bistro for 3 months.
Customer: I still need more time to consider this.
Timeshare Rep: You're breaking my balls here. $1,499 for 42 months, plus all of the benefits, and free heating?
Customer: Alright, fine. I'll buy an apartment.
Timeshare Rep: Great! Now sign on the dotted line before my 100 minute presentation is up (hands over a document).
Customer: (signng the document) Now what if I change my mind and decide to cancel my payment, do I get refunded?
Timeshare Rep: Um.....no. In fact, by signing up, you are now required to pay $2,899 up front, plus a $7,345 utility instalation fee, $13,500 pet-chauffer service, and a $1,766 asteroid-impact insurance fee.
Customer: Fuck.
Timeshare Rep: Thank you for purchasing a Quazi Glam property. Here's a complementary ticket to Jamal's Flea Market. Have a nice day. Sucker.
Timeshare Rep: So, did you like the Quazi Glam properties?
Customer: Absolutely! The jacuzzi room was a nice touch, and the ocean view is spectacular.
Timeshare Rep: Now, I need to get my double-digit sales quota today, and I'm running terribly short on time, so let's get down to business. You said you are an Engineer, and you probably make like a shitload of money, so how would you like to purchase an apartment for $2,899 a month for 60 months?
Customer: Those apartments don't look like they cost that much!
Timeshare Rep: Aw come on now, work with me. (scribbles on a paper) Using a hooey mathematical formula I made up while showing you around, you can easily get one paid off in like, 14 months.
Customer: The price still does not justify the quality.
Timeshare Rep: Hmmm. How about I reduce the payment to $2,199 for 54 months. You can even invite your friends and relatives to rent it out and reduce your cost.
Customer: Let me think about it later.
Timeshare Rep: Okay. How about $1,799 for 48 months? I'll even throw in free maintenance and free lunches at the on-site bistro for 3 months.
Customer: I still need more time to consider this.
Timeshare Rep: You're breaking my balls here. $1,499 for 42 months, plus all of the benefits, and free heating?
Customer: Alright, fine. I'll buy an apartment.
Timeshare Rep: Great! Now sign on the dotted line before my 100 minute presentation is up (hands over a document).
Customer: (signng the document) Now what if I change my mind and decide to cancel my payment, do I get refunded?
Timeshare Rep: Um.....no. In fact, by signing up, you are now required to pay $2,899 up front, plus a $7,345 utility instalation fee, $13,500 pet-chauffer service, and a $1,766 asteroid-impact insurance fee.
Customer: Fuck.
Timeshare Rep: Thank you for purchasing a Quazi Glam property. Here's a complementary ticket to Jamal's Flea Market. Have a nice day. Sucker.
by sarcastic June 05, 2006
The perpetual trademark of our species. The random and unpredictable state of mind that causes and governs wars, unwanted pregnancies, political actions, divorces, ripoffs, reality TV shows, copycat crimes, cults, self-injury, and lawsuits.
Since the stupid in our midst are breeding uncontrollably while the intelligent minority are dying out, one can easily predict that our stupidity will far outpace our technological progress within a few decades, and propel us back to the Stone Age or extinction with in a few centuries.
Since the stupid in our midst are breeding uncontrollably while the intelligent minority are dying out, one can easily predict that our stupidity will far outpace our technological progress within a few decades, and propel us back to the Stone Age or extinction with in a few centuries.
by sarcastic December 13, 2003
What a crock of bullshit! Basically it is either;
1) A clever lie designed by the rich to trick the poor into (a) working longer hours for less pay, and to (b) purchase a shitload of useless material goods and services, both of which help give the rich more wealth while further impoverishing the poor.
or
2) Taking over other nations by force, stealing their resources, and installing puppet governments that control the flow of resources to America while destroying the cultures and infrastructure of said conquered nations.
1) A clever lie designed by the rich to trick the poor into (a) working longer hours for less pay, and to (b) purchase a shitload of useless material goods and services, both of which help give the rich more wealth while further impoverishing the poor.
or
2) Taking over other nations by force, stealing their resources, and installing puppet governments that control the flow of resources to America while destroying the cultures and infrastructure of said conquered nations.
The American Dream is to work 60 hours a week for minimum wage, spiral downwards into debt as a result of being stupid enough to get credit cards and to spend what little money you have on shiny, expensive products that are useless in value and function.
by sarcastic April 02, 2004