sarcastic's definitions
A joke-for-an-organization that can't accept that an MP3 is merely an inferior copy of the actual song, just like a videotape of a show is inferior to being at the show yourself.
The worst mistake the RIAA is making is to piss off the bootleggers and the hackers. The RIAA, instead, should have learned to EMBRACE the new technology before the pirates exploited it first.
by sarcastic May 24, 2003
Get the RIAAmug. That idiot blew his whole paycheck playing that Evercrap game, and he hasn't paid his rent two months.
by sarcastic May 24, 2003
Get the Evercrapmug. I went over there last week, and while I was ordering my food, I saw one of the drivers leave the restroom and wash his hands IN THE DISHWATER, even though the sink was right next to the bathroom door. God, that was disgusting! Makes you want to think twice, or thrice, before ordering out, because the utensils used to cut the pizzas may have also been washed in that same water.
Or maybe I was just unfortunate enough to go to a Pizza Hut restaurant which didn't have a wall that blocks the customer's view of the back of the store, but still, that worker should have known better.
by sarcastic January 26, 2004
Get the Pizza Hutmug. See time share time-share.
An elaborate marketing scam designed to make victims purchase property that they don't really need. Typically this scam is used in vacation/resort towns like Williamsburg, Myrtle Beach, Las Vegas, and Orlando. After being lured to the places with offers of "Free Disney Tickets" or "Free Money", victims are made to endure a 90-120 minute sales presentation where they are shown around a series of semi-luxurious condos or apartments, and then persuaded to purchase a property using deceptive and highly-pressurized sales pitches.
An elaborate marketing scam designed to make victims purchase property that they don't really need. Typically this scam is used in vacation/resort towns like Williamsburg, Myrtle Beach, Las Vegas, and Orlando. After being lured to the places with offers of "Free Disney Tickets" or "Free Money", victims are made to endure a 90-120 minute sales presentation where they are shown around a series of semi-luxurious condos or apartments, and then persuaded to purchase a property using deceptive and highly-pressurized sales pitches.
After being shown around a fairly nice-looking apartment complex, the Timeshare salesman and the customer return to the main office to finalize the presentation.
Timeshare Rep: So, did you like the Quazi Glam properties?
Customer: Absolutely! The jacuzzi room was a nice touch, and the ocean view is spectacular.
Timeshare Rep: Now, I need to get my double-digit sales quota today, and I'm running terribly short on time, so let's get down to business. You said you are an Engineer, and you probably make like a shitload of money, so how would you like to purchase an apartment for $2,899 a month for 60 months?
Customer: Those apartments don't look like they cost that much!
Timeshare Rep: Aw come on now, work with me. (scribbles on a paper) Using a hooey mathematical formula I made up while showing you around, you can easily get one paid off in like, 14 months.
Customer: The price still does not justify the quality.
Timeshare Rep: Hmmm. How about I reduce the payment to $2,199 for 54 months. You can even invite your friends and relatives to rent it out and reduce your cost.
Customer: Let me think about it later.
Timeshare Rep: Okay. How about $1,799 for 48 months? I'll even throw in free maintenance and free lunches at the on-site bistro for 3 months.
Customer: I still need more time to consider this.
Timeshare Rep: You're breaking my balls here. $1,499 for 42 months, plus all of the benefits, and free heating?
Customer: Alright, fine. I'll buy an apartment.
Timeshare Rep: Great! Now sign on the dotted line before my 100 minute presentation is up (hands over a document).
Customer: (signng the document) Now what if I change my mind and decide to cancel my payment, do I get refunded?
Timeshare Rep: Um.....no. In fact, by signing up, you are now required to pay $2,899 up front, plus a $7,345 utility instalation fee, $13,500 pet-chauffer service, and a $1,766 asteroid-impact insurance fee.
Customer: Fuck.
Timeshare Rep: Thank you for purchasing a Quazi Glam property. Here's a complementary ticket to Jamal's Flea Market. Have a nice day. Sucker.
Timeshare Rep: So, did you like the Quazi Glam properties?
Customer: Absolutely! The jacuzzi room was a nice touch, and the ocean view is spectacular.
Timeshare Rep: Now, I need to get my double-digit sales quota today, and I'm running terribly short on time, so let's get down to business. You said you are an Engineer, and you probably make like a shitload of money, so how would you like to purchase an apartment for $2,899 a month for 60 months?
Customer: Those apartments don't look like they cost that much!
Timeshare Rep: Aw come on now, work with me. (scribbles on a paper) Using a hooey mathematical formula I made up while showing you around, you can easily get one paid off in like, 14 months.
Customer: The price still does not justify the quality.
Timeshare Rep: Hmmm. How about I reduce the payment to $2,199 for 54 months. You can even invite your friends and relatives to rent it out and reduce your cost.
Customer: Let me think about it later.
Timeshare Rep: Okay. How about $1,799 for 48 months? I'll even throw in free maintenance and free lunches at the on-site bistro for 3 months.
Customer: I still need more time to consider this.
Timeshare Rep: You're breaking my balls here. $1,499 for 42 months, plus all of the benefits, and free heating?
Customer: Alright, fine. I'll buy an apartment.
Timeshare Rep: Great! Now sign on the dotted line before my 100 minute presentation is up (hands over a document).
Customer: (signng the document) Now what if I change my mind and decide to cancel my payment, do I get refunded?
Timeshare Rep: Um.....no. In fact, by signing up, you are now required to pay $2,899 up front, plus a $7,345 utility instalation fee, $13,500 pet-chauffer service, and a $1,766 asteroid-impact insurance fee.
Customer: Fuck.
Timeshare Rep: Thank you for purchasing a Quazi Glam property. Here's a complementary ticket to Jamal's Flea Market. Have a nice day. Sucker.
by sarcastic June 11, 2006
Get the Timesharemug. by sarcastic September 1, 2003
Get the life insurancemug. All Hallow's Eve, the evening of October 31st.
Halloween was Christianity`s failed attempt at eradicating paganism in the 9th Century.
Originally, the pagans dedicated the period of late October to early November as a time for honoring their ancestors. Then along came the Christians, who declared November 1st to be All Saints Day and forced the pagans to honor that day instead. The pagans simply celebrated their ancient traditions in secret on the evening before November 1st.
When the Medieval Era ended, and the age of Protestantism began, the pagan tradition was celebrated more openly, eventually becoming an evening holiday in the Western Hemisphere.
Halloween was Christianity`s failed attempt at eradicating paganism in the 9th Century.
Originally, the pagans dedicated the period of late October to early November as a time for honoring their ancestors. Then along came the Christians, who declared November 1st to be All Saints Day and forced the pagans to honor that day instead. The pagans simply celebrated their ancient traditions in secret on the evening before November 1st.
When the Medieval Era ended, and the age of Protestantism began, the pagan tradition was celebrated more openly, eventually becoming an evening holiday in the Western Hemisphere.
During Halloween, the children, dressed up in their favorite costumes, go door-to-door throughout the neighborhood, asking for candy or snacks.
by sarcastic November 16, 2004
Get the Halloweenmug. succubus
An old Scottish word for a female demon who feeds by attatching herself to an unfortunate male and draining his life-force. Using sex and psychological torture, she forces the man to devote his entire energy towards satisfying her short-term desires. When she has her fill, she discards what is left of him by the wayside and seeks other males to exploit.
This definition also perfctly describes 99% of Western women, ESPECIALLY American women.
An old Scottish word for a female demon who feeds by attatching herself to an unfortunate male and draining his life-force. Using sex and psychological torture, she forces the man to devote his entire energy towards satisfying her short-term desires. When she has her fill, she discards what is left of him by the wayside and seeks other males to exploit.
This definition also perfctly describes 99% of Western women, ESPECIALLY American women.
If you end up getting assraped in divorce court, and the legal system forces you to hand over everything you worked hard for your entire life to your ex-wife, and you end up paying alimony for children that are not even yours, you probably married a sucubus.
by sarcastic May 29, 2004
Get the sucubusmug.