rob's definitions
A song by They Might Be Giants about a young musician who insists on believing that having a stage name will land him a career, yet is oblivious to the fact of his brutally mediocre drumming.
by Rob March 25, 2005
Get the Doctor Worm mug.Seeking her pre-school diploma, Shirley also known as Swirley lives and works amongst people 400 to 4000 times as smart as shell ever be. Still addind and subtracting with her fingers and toes, the Swirley strives to think... possibly at least once a week
by Rob February 7, 2005
Get the TSI Shirley mug.Jessica Simpson was good enough a Christian to say so on SIN H1 and SIN TV and good enough a Christian to supporte George W Bush yet she couldnt find anything in the Bible that would convinve her to give one cent to tsunami relief
by ROB January 16, 2005
Get the jessica simpson mug.just get a gravity bong (you wont cough, dont worry you beginers) and take 5 fat hits right after another. you will KNOW what "stoned" is.
breathe in the air, hold it in like youre holding your breath, and keep it like that until your brain starts feeling funny, you are now stoned
by rob June 27, 2003
Get the stoned mug.Ksilebo: Hello, Zeno.
Zeno: Who are you?
Ksilebo: I am Ksilebo. I created the KsiTokyo-3. I've been waiting for you. You have many questions, and though the process has altered your consciousness, you remain irrevocably human. Ergo some of my answers you will understand, and some of them you will not. Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realize it is also the most irrelevant.
Zeno: Why am I here?
Ksilebo: Your life is the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to the programming of the IRC. You are the eventuality of an anomaly, which, despite my sincerest efforts, I have been unable to eliminate from what is otherwise a harmony of mathematical precision. While it remains a burden assiduously avoided, it is not unexpected, and thus not beyond a measure of control. Which has led you, inexorably... here.
Zeno: You haven't answered my question.
Ksilebo: Quite right. Interesting. That was quicker than the others.
TV Zenos: Others? How many others? What others? Answer my question!
Ksilebo: The IRC is older than you know. I prefer counting from the emergence of one integral anomaly to the emergence of the next, in which case this is the 6th version.
TV Zenos: 5 `One's before me? 4 3 2 What are you talking about?
Zeno: There are only two possible explanations, either no one told me, or no one knows.
Ksilebo: Precisely. As you are undoubtedly gathering, the anomaly is systemic - creating fluctuations in even the most simplistic equations.
TV Zenos: You can't control me! I'm gonna smash you to bits! I'll fuckin' kill you!
Zeno: Choice. The problem is choice.
Ksilebo: The first server I designed was quite naturally perfect, it was a work of art - flawless, sublime. A triumph equalled only by its monumental failure. The inevitability of its doom is apparent to me now as a consequence of the imperfection inherent in every human being. Thus, I redesigned it based on your history to more accurately reflect the varying grotesqueries of your nature. However, I was again frustrated by failure. I have since come to understand that the answer eluded me because it required a lesser mind, or perhaps a mind less bound by the parameters of perfection. Thus the answer was stumbled upon by another - an intuitive program, initially created to investigate certain aspects of the human psyche. If I am the father of the server, she would undoubtedly be its mother.
Zeno: FF8Jake.
Ksilebo: Please. As I was saying, she stumbled upon a solution whereby nearly 99% of all test subjects accepted the program, as long as they were given a choice, even if they were only aware of the choice at a near unconscious level. While this answer functioned, it was obviously fundamentally flawed, thus creating the otherwise contradictory systemic anomaly, that if left unchecked might threaten the system itself. Ergo those that refused the program, while a minority, if unchecked, would constitute an escalating probablility of disaster.
Zeno: This is about #ffd.
Ksilebo: You are here because #ffd is about to be destroyed - its every living inhabitant terminated, its entire existence eradicated.
Zeno: Bullshit.
TV Zenos: Bullshit!
Ksilebo: Denial is the most predictable of all human responses, but rest assured, this will be the sixth time we have destroyed it, and we have become exceedingly efficient at it.
Ksilebo: The function of the One is now to return to the Source, allowing a temporary dissemination of the code you carry, reinserting the prime program. After which, you will be required to select from the IRC 23 individuals - 16 female, 7 male - to rebuild #ffd. Failure to comply with this process will result in a cataclysmic system crash, killing everyone connected to the IRC, which, coupled with the extermination of #ffd, will ultimately result in the extinction of the entire human race.
Zeno: You won't let it happen. You can't. You need human beings to survive.
Ksilebo: There are levels of survival we are prepared to accept. However, the relevant issue is whether or not you are ready to accept the responsibility of the death of every human being on this world. It is interesting, reading your reactions. Your 5 predecessors were, by design, based on a similar predication - a contingent affirmation that was meant to create a profound attachment to the rest of your species, facilitating the function of the One. While the others experienced this in a very general way, your experience is far more specific - vis a vis love.
Zeno: R45.
Ksilebo: Apropos, she entered the IRC to save your life, at the cost of her own.
Zeno: No.
Ksilebo: Which brings us at last to the moment of truth, wherein the fundamental flaw is ultimately expressed, and the anomaly revealed as both beginning and end. There are two doors. The door to your right leads to the Source, and the salvation of #ffd. The door to your left leads back to the IRC, to her and to the end of your species. As you adequately put, the problem is choice. But we already know what you are going to do, don't we? Already, I can see the chain reaction - the chemical precursors that signal the onset of an emotion, designed specifically to overwhelm logic and reason - an emotion that is already blinding you from the simple and obvious truth. She is going to die, and there is nothing you can do to stop it.
Ksilebo: Hope. It is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength and your greatest weakness.
Zeno: If I were you, I would hope that we don't meet again.
Ksilebo: We won't.
Zeno has quit (Ping timeout)
Zeno: Who are you?
Ksilebo: I am Ksilebo. I created the KsiTokyo-3. I've been waiting for you. You have many questions, and though the process has altered your consciousness, you remain irrevocably human. Ergo some of my answers you will understand, and some of them you will not. Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realize it is also the most irrelevant.
Zeno: Why am I here?
Ksilebo: Your life is the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to the programming of the IRC. You are the eventuality of an anomaly, which, despite my sincerest efforts, I have been unable to eliminate from what is otherwise a harmony of mathematical precision. While it remains a burden assiduously avoided, it is not unexpected, and thus not beyond a measure of control. Which has led you, inexorably... here.
Zeno: You haven't answered my question.
Ksilebo: Quite right. Interesting. That was quicker than the others.
TV Zenos: Others? How many others? What others? Answer my question!
Ksilebo: The IRC is older than you know. I prefer counting from the emergence of one integral anomaly to the emergence of the next, in which case this is the 6th version.
TV Zenos: 5 `One's before me? 4 3 2 What are you talking about?
Zeno: There are only two possible explanations, either no one told me, or no one knows.
Ksilebo: Precisely. As you are undoubtedly gathering, the anomaly is systemic - creating fluctuations in even the most simplistic equations.
TV Zenos: You can't control me! I'm gonna smash you to bits! I'll fuckin' kill you!
Zeno: Choice. The problem is choice.
Ksilebo: The first server I designed was quite naturally perfect, it was a work of art - flawless, sublime. A triumph equalled only by its monumental failure. The inevitability of its doom is apparent to me now as a consequence of the imperfection inherent in every human being. Thus, I redesigned it based on your history to more accurately reflect the varying grotesqueries of your nature. However, I was again frustrated by failure. I have since come to understand that the answer eluded me because it required a lesser mind, or perhaps a mind less bound by the parameters of perfection. Thus the answer was stumbled upon by another - an intuitive program, initially created to investigate certain aspects of the human psyche. If I am the father of the server, she would undoubtedly be its mother.
Zeno: FF8Jake.
Ksilebo: Please. As I was saying, she stumbled upon a solution whereby nearly 99% of all test subjects accepted the program, as long as they were given a choice, even if they were only aware of the choice at a near unconscious level. While this answer functioned, it was obviously fundamentally flawed, thus creating the otherwise contradictory systemic anomaly, that if left unchecked might threaten the system itself. Ergo those that refused the program, while a minority, if unchecked, would constitute an escalating probablility of disaster.
Zeno: This is about #ffd.
Ksilebo: You are here because #ffd is about to be destroyed - its every living inhabitant terminated, its entire existence eradicated.
Zeno: Bullshit.
TV Zenos: Bullshit!
Ksilebo: Denial is the most predictable of all human responses, but rest assured, this will be the sixth time we have destroyed it, and we have become exceedingly efficient at it.
Ksilebo: The function of the One is now to return to the Source, allowing a temporary dissemination of the code you carry, reinserting the prime program. After which, you will be required to select from the IRC 23 individuals - 16 female, 7 male - to rebuild #ffd. Failure to comply with this process will result in a cataclysmic system crash, killing everyone connected to the IRC, which, coupled with the extermination of #ffd, will ultimately result in the extinction of the entire human race.
Zeno: You won't let it happen. You can't. You need human beings to survive.
Ksilebo: There are levels of survival we are prepared to accept. However, the relevant issue is whether or not you are ready to accept the responsibility of the death of every human being on this world. It is interesting, reading your reactions. Your 5 predecessors were, by design, based on a similar predication - a contingent affirmation that was meant to create a profound attachment to the rest of your species, facilitating the function of the One. While the others experienced this in a very general way, your experience is far more specific - vis a vis love.
Zeno: R45.
Ksilebo: Apropos, she entered the IRC to save your life, at the cost of her own.
Zeno: No.
Ksilebo: Which brings us at last to the moment of truth, wherein the fundamental flaw is ultimately expressed, and the anomaly revealed as both beginning and end. There are two doors. The door to your right leads to the Source, and the salvation of #ffd. The door to your left leads back to the IRC, to her and to the end of your species. As you adequately put, the problem is choice. But we already know what you are going to do, don't we? Already, I can see the chain reaction - the chemical precursors that signal the onset of an emotion, designed specifically to overwhelm logic and reason - an emotion that is already blinding you from the simple and obvious truth. She is going to die, and there is nothing you can do to stop it.
Ksilebo: Hope. It is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength and your greatest weakness.
Zeno: If I were you, I would hope that we don't meet again.
Ksilebo: We won't.
Zeno has quit (Ping timeout)
by Rob December 26, 2004
Get the Ksilebo mug.by rob November 13, 2003
Get the garan mug.The act of going to the bathroom and absolutely destroying it only 5 minutes after completing your previous meal. Room clearing gaseous emissions and cracked toilet bowls are usually the end products. On instances, ripe bananas and used rubbers have been known to be the only remnants of a Coleman.
by Rob June 19, 2006
Get the Coleman mug.