quan cao tien's definitions
by quan cao tien October 5, 2010
Get the ABS mug.BUPA HEALTHCARE CENTRE.
A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the healthcare centre. When during her tour, she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously.
"Oh my GOD!!" screamed the woman, "That's disgraceful!!! Why is he doing that?"
The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained, "I'm very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a serious condition where his nuts rapidly fill with semen, and if he doesn't do that at least 5 times a day, he'll be in extreme pain and his nuts could easily rupture".
”Oh well, in that case, I guess it's ok." commented the woman.
In the very next room, a male patient was lying in bed and it was obvious that a nurse was performing oral s£x on him. Again, the woman screamed, "Oh my GOD!! How can THAT be justified?"
Again the doctor spoke very calmly, "Same illness, ma'am! at BUPA, those underage patients are being treated under a new physiotherapy method!!!"
A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the healthcare centre. When during her tour, she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously.
"Oh my GOD!!" screamed the woman, "That's disgraceful!!! Why is he doing that?"
The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained, "I'm very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a serious condition where his nuts rapidly fill with semen, and if he doesn't do that at least 5 times a day, he'll be in extreme pain and his nuts could easily rupture".
”Oh well, in that case, I guess it's ok." commented the woman.
In the very next room, a male patient was lying in bed and it was obvious that a nurse was performing oral s£x on him. Again, the woman screamed, "Oh my GOD!! How can THAT be justified?"
Again the doctor spoke very calmly, "Same illness, ma'am! at BUPA, those underage patients are being treated under a new physiotherapy method!!!"
by quan cao tien August 7, 2010
Get the BUPA mug.What a shit stirrer! She’s gone and told my trouble and strife that I was with another chick at the party.
by quan cao tien August 26, 2010
Get the Shit stirrer mug.Dude 1: When working at that new institution, you should equip yourself with a car, a business suit, a gold wrist watch to make you much more attractive to new chicks there, man.
Dude 2: Do I need a dog and bone?
Dude 1: Absolutely, you need it to tell your top dog you are working while you are in the caff with pals during the office hours!
Dude 2: Do I need a dog and bone?
Dude 1: Absolutely, you need it to tell your top dog you are working while you are in the caff with pals during the office hours!
by quan cao tien August 26, 2010
Get the caff mug.*Interviewer: Pls let me know what keeps you happy?!!!
*Interviewee: Well, It is great to meet chicks who are as good as gold. To some extent, I highly appreciate my spouses' heart of gold because they have been living with me for years and bore me 13 sons and girls so far. As a result, I’ve been working very hard to support them all since I was 18 and however, they always play a key role in encouraging me to overcome such difficulties. Their care is a main source of my pride. this is worth my spouses' gold for me.
*Interviewer: Keep your fingers crossed for dat, sir!
*Interviewee: Well, It is great to meet chicks who are as good as gold. To some extent, I highly appreciate my spouses' heart of gold because they have been living with me for years and bore me 13 sons and girls so far. As a result, I’ve been working very hard to support them all since I was 18 and however, they always play a key role in encouraging me to overcome such difficulties. Their care is a main source of my pride. this is worth my spouses' gold for me.
*Interviewer: Keep your fingers crossed for dat, sir!
by quan cao tien August 6, 2010
Get the 18 mug.I WLTM if teh following MARRIAGE TERMS AND CONDITIONS are met:
• Please if U see me upset as one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say 'get over it, its only a game', or 'don't worry, they'll win next time'. If U say these things, U will only make me angrier and I’ll luv U less. Remember, U will nave ever kno more about fitba than me and your so called 'words of encouragement' will only lead to a break up or divorce. It’d be a good idea for U to keep at least 2 six packs in teh fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please don’t make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch teh games. In return, U will be allowed to use teh TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game dat I missed during teh day.
• Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings dat requires my attendance because:
I won’t go…However, if my pals invite us to their house on a Sun to watch a game, we’ll be there in a flash.
• If U have to pass by in front of teh TV during a game, for an important reason such as preparing snacks or getting in teh beers, I don't mind, as long as U crawl along teh floor.
• During teh games I’ll be blinkered to match. U can’t expect me to listen to U, it will nave happen.
• And finally, please save yr expressions such as: 'Thank God teh fitba season’s only every 4 years'. I’m immune to these words, b’coz after this comes teh Champions League, Premier League...
• Please if U see me upset as one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say 'get over it, its only a game', or 'don't worry, they'll win next time'. If U say these things, U will only make me angrier and I’ll luv U less. Remember, U will nave ever kno more about fitba than me and your so called 'words of encouragement' will only lead to a break up or divorce. It’d be a good idea for U to keep at least 2 six packs in teh fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please don’t make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch teh games. In return, U will be allowed to use teh TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game dat I missed during teh day.
• Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings dat requires my attendance because:
I won’t go…However, if my pals invite us to their house on a Sun to watch a game, we’ll be there in a flash.
• If U have to pass by in front of teh TV during a game, for an important reason such as preparing snacks or getting in teh beers, I don't mind, as long as U crawl along teh floor.
• During teh games I’ll be blinkered to match. U can’t expect me to listen to U, it will nave happen.
• And finally, please save yr expressions such as: 'Thank God teh fitba season’s only every 4 years'. I’m immune to these words, b’coz after this comes teh Champions League, Premier League...
by quan cao tien August 9, 2010
Get the WLTM mug.The Cuckoo Clock
At about 3AM, I was drunk as a skunk because there was a lot of voddy. So, with a certain time limit, I did down it. I came home just in time to hear the cuckoo clock cuckoo three times. Quickly coming up with a plan, I cuckooed nine more times, hoping my wife would think it was midnight. I was very proud of myself.
The next day, my wife asked what time I got home, and I replied, "Midnight, just like I said."
She said that was good, and for some reason she said we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked why, she answered, "Last night when it cuckooed midnight, it cuckooed three times, said 'S%!t!,' cuckooed four more times, farted, cuckooed three times, cleared its throat, cuckooed two more times and then started giggling.
At about 3AM, I was drunk as a skunk because there was a lot of voddy. So, with a certain time limit, I did down it. I came home just in time to hear the cuckoo clock cuckoo three times. Quickly coming up with a plan, I cuckooed nine more times, hoping my wife would think it was midnight. I was very proud of myself.
The next day, my wife asked what time I got home, and I replied, "Midnight, just like I said."
She said that was good, and for some reason she said we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked why, she answered, "Last night when it cuckooed midnight, it cuckooed three times, said 'S%!t!,' cuckooed four more times, farted, cuckooed three times, cleared its throat, cuckooed two more times and then started giggling.
by quan cao tien August 19, 2010
Get the down it mug.