quan cao tien's definitions
"Football Is For All".
*Husband: From 11th June until 11th July 2010, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. The remote control will be fingerprinted each night, any sign of your fingerprints and all shopping trips will be cancelled for a month.
*Wife: But… FIFA and I like fitbaw, too!
*Wife: But… FIFA and I like fitbaw, too!
by quan cao tien August 7, 2010
Get the FIFA mug.Being Vietnamese is about riding in a Chinese motorbike to an local pub for a Lao beer, then travelling home, grabbing Cambodian common rat dishes on the way, phoning friends by a Finnish mobile phone, sitting on Italian furniture and watching Korean films on a Japanese TV every night as well.
*Vietnamese: I like these kinds of food such as squared sticky rice cakes, Pho, caramelised fish in claypot (ca kho to), Bun oc, Hu tieu, to name but a few.
*Korean: What about Lao beer? D'you like watching Korean films?
*Vietnamse: I do absolutely!
*Korean: You must be Vietnamese fo sho, man!
*Korean: What about Lao beer? D'you like watching Korean films?
*Vietnamse: I do absolutely!
*Korean: You must be Vietnamese fo sho, man!
by quan cao tien August 12, 2010
Get the Vietnamse mug.Can't Eat Out.
Can't Even Operate.
Career Ending Opportunity.
Caribbean Elephants Organization.
Catch Every Obstacle.
Catholic Education Office.
Caustic Ego Online.
Central Economics Office.
Central Elite Operations.
Ceremonial Events Officer.
Certified Egoistic Organizer.
Championship Event Organizer.
Cheap Entertaining Opponent.
Cheese Eating Official.
Chief Eating Officer.
Chief Elf of Operations.
Chief Embezzling Offender.
Chief Emotional Officer.
Chief Ethics Officer.
Chief Evangelist Officer.
Chief Evangelistic Officer.
Chief Excessive Officer
Chief Execution Order.
Chief Executioner Omnipotent.
Chief Executive Officer.
Chiropractic Elite Organization.
Christmas and Easter Only.
Citrus Entity Overlord.
Clown Executive Officer.
Cock Eyed Optimist.
Collegiate Entrepreneurs' Organization.
Company Entertainer Octopus.
Competitive Edge Opportunities.
Comprehensive Electronic Office.
Computer Energy Organizer.
Conscientiously Energetic Overacting.
Constantly Evaluating Others.
Controlling Every Objective.
Cool English Only.
Corporate Europe Observatory.
Corrupt Executive Officer.
Costs Evened Out.
Covert Elite Operations.
Cranky Eccentric Oldster.
Cranky Evil Ogre.
Creating Excellent Organizations.
Creating Exceptional Opportunities.
Creating Extraordinary Outcomes.
Customer Employee Organization.
Cutting Everything Out.
Can't Even Operate.
Career Ending Opportunity.
Caribbean Elephants Organization.
Catch Every Obstacle.
Catholic Education Office.
Caustic Ego Online.
Central Economics Office.
Central Elite Operations.
Ceremonial Events Officer.
Certified Egoistic Organizer.
Championship Event Organizer.
Cheap Entertaining Opponent.
Cheese Eating Official.
Chief Eating Officer.
Chief Elf of Operations.
Chief Embezzling Offender.
Chief Emotional Officer.
Chief Ethics Officer.
Chief Evangelist Officer.
Chief Evangelistic Officer.
Chief Excessive Officer
Chief Execution Order.
Chief Executioner Omnipotent.
Chief Executive Officer.
Chiropractic Elite Organization.
Christmas and Easter Only.
Citrus Entity Overlord.
Clown Executive Officer.
Cock Eyed Optimist.
Collegiate Entrepreneurs' Organization.
Company Entertainer Octopus.
Competitive Edge Opportunities.
Comprehensive Electronic Office.
Computer Energy Organizer.
Conscientiously Energetic Overacting.
Constantly Evaluating Others.
Controlling Every Objective.
Cool English Only.
Corporate Europe Observatory.
Corrupt Executive Officer.
Costs Evened Out.
Covert Elite Operations.
Cranky Eccentric Oldster.
Cranky Evil Ogre.
Creating Excellent Organizations.
Creating Exceptional Opportunities.
Creating Extraordinary Outcomes.
Customer Employee Organization.
Cutting Everything Out.
A CEO (and member of Forbes 400!) throwing a party takes his executives on a tour of his opulent mansion. In the back of the property, the CEO has the largest swimming pool any of them has ever seen. The huge pool, however, is filled with hungry alligators. The CEO says to his executives “I think an executive should be measured by courage. Courage is what made me CEO. So this is my challenge to each of you: if anyone has enough courage to dive into the pool, swim through those alligators, and make it to the other side, I will give that person anything they desire. My job, my money, my house, anything!”
Everyone laughs at the outrageous offer and proceeds to follow the CEO on the tour of the estate. Suddenly, they hear a loud splash. Everyone turns around and sees the CFO (Chief Financial Officer) in the pool, swimming for his life. He dodges the alligators left and right and makes it to the edge of the pool with seconds to spare. He pulls himself out just as a huge alligator snaps at his shoes. The flabbergasted CEO approaches the CFO and says, “You are amazing. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. You are brave beyond measure and anything I own is yours. Tell me what I can do for you.”
The CFO, panting for breath, looks up and says, “You can tell me who the hell pushed me in the pool!!”
Everyone laughs at the outrageous offer and proceeds to follow the CEO on the tour of the estate. Suddenly, they hear a loud splash. Everyone turns around and sees the CFO (Chief Financial Officer) in the pool, swimming for his life. He dodges the alligators left and right and makes it to the edge of the pool with seconds to spare. He pulls himself out just as a huge alligator snaps at his shoes. The flabbergasted CEO approaches the CFO and says, “You are amazing. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. You are brave beyond measure and anything I own is yours. Tell me what I can do for you.”
The CFO, panting for breath, looks up and says, “You can tell me who the hell pushed me in the pool!!”
by quan cao tien August 7, 2010
Get the CEO mug.*Interviewer: Pls let me know what keeps you happy?!!!
*Interviewee: Well, It is great to meet chicks who are as good as gold. To some extent, I highly appreciate my spouses' heart of gold because they have been living with me for years and bore me 13 sons and girls so far. As a result, I’ve been working very hard to support them all since I was 18 and however, they always play a key role in encouraging me to overcome such difficulties. Their care is a main source of my pride. this is worth my spouses' gold for me.
*Interviewer: Keep your fingers crossed for dat, sir!
*Interviewee: Well, It is great to meet chicks who are as good as gold. To some extent, I highly appreciate my spouses' heart of gold because they have been living with me for years and bore me 13 sons and girls so far. As a result, I’ve been working very hard to support them all since I was 18 and however, they always play a key role in encouraging me to overcome such difficulties. Their care is a main source of my pride. this is worth my spouses' gold for me.
*Interviewer: Keep your fingers crossed for dat, sir!
by quan cao tien August 6, 2010
Get the 18 mug.I WLTM if teh following MARRIAGE TERMS AND CONDITIONS are met:
• Please if U see me upset as one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say 'get over it, its only a game', or 'don't worry, they'll win next time'. If U say these things, U will only make me angrier and I’ll luv U less. Remember, U will nave ever kno more about fitba than me and your so called 'words of encouragement' will only lead to a break up or divorce. It’d be a good idea for U to keep at least 2 six packs in teh fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please don’t make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch teh games. In return, U will be allowed to use teh TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game dat I missed during teh day.
• Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings dat requires my attendance because:
I won’t go…However, if my pals invite us to their house on a Sun to watch a game, we’ll be there in a flash.
• If U have to pass by in front of teh TV during a game, for an important reason such as preparing snacks or getting in teh beers, I don't mind, as long as U crawl along teh floor.
• During teh games I’ll be blinkered to match. U can’t expect me to listen to U, it will nave happen.
• And finally, please save yr expressions such as: 'Thank God teh fitba season’s only every 4 years'. I’m immune to these words, b’coz after this comes teh Champions League, Premier League...
• Please if U see me upset as one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say 'get over it, its only a game', or 'don't worry, they'll win next time'. If U say these things, U will only make me angrier and I’ll luv U less. Remember, U will nave ever kno more about fitba than me and your so called 'words of encouragement' will only lead to a break up or divorce. It’d be a good idea for U to keep at least 2 six packs in teh fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please don’t make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch teh games. In return, U will be allowed to use teh TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game dat I missed during teh day.
• Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings dat requires my attendance because:
I won’t go…However, if my pals invite us to their house on a Sun to watch a game, we’ll be there in a flash.
• If U have to pass by in front of teh TV during a game, for an important reason such as preparing snacks or getting in teh beers, I don't mind, as long as U crawl along teh floor.
• During teh games I’ll be blinkered to match. U can’t expect me to listen to U, it will nave happen.
• And finally, please save yr expressions such as: 'Thank God teh fitba season’s only every 4 years'. I’m immune to these words, b’coz after this comes teh Champions League, Premier League...
by quan cao tien August 9, 2010
Get the WLTM mug.BUPA HEALTHCARE CENTRE.
A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the healthcare centre. When during her tour, she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously.
"Oh my GOD!!" screamed the woman, "That's disgraceful!!! Why is he doing that?"
The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained, "I'm very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a serious condition where his nuts rapidly fill with semen, and if he doesn't do that at least 5 times a day, he'll be in extreme pain and his nuts could easily rupture".
”Oh well, in that case, I guess it's ok." commented the woman.
In the very next room, a male patient was lying in bed and it was obvious that a nurse was performing oral s£x on him. Again, the woman screamed, "Oh my GOD!! How can THAT be justified?"
Again the doctor spoke very calmly, "Same illness, ma'am! at BUPA, those underage patients are being treated under a new physiotherapy method!!!"
A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the healthcare centre. When during her tour, she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously.
"Oh my GOD!!" screamed the woman, "That's disgraceful!!! Why is he doing that?"
The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained, "I'm very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a serious condition where his nuts rapidly fill with semen, and if he doesn't do that at least 5 times a day, he'll be in extreme pain and his nuts could easily rupture".
”Oh well, in that case, I guess it's ok." commented the woman.
In the very next room, a male patient was lying in bed and it was obvious that a nurse was performing oral s£x on him. Again, the woman screamed, "Oh my GOD!! How can THAT be justified?"
Again the doctor spoke very calmly, "Same illness, ma'am! at BUPA, those underage patients are being treated under a new physiotherapy method!!!"
by quan cao tien August 7, 2010
Get the BUPA mug.by quan cao tien October 5, 2010
Get the ABS mug.