quan cao tien's definitions
by quan cao tien August 26, 2010
Get the Cark (it)mug. BUPA HEALTHCARE CENTRE.
A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the healthcare centre. When during her tour, she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously.
"Oh my GOD!!" screamed the woman, "That's disgraceful!!! Why is he doing that?"
The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained, "I'm very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a serious condition where his nuts rapidly fill with semen, and if he doesn't do that at least 5 times a day, he'll be in extreme pain and his nuts could easily rupture".
”Oh well, in that case, I guess it's ok." commented the woman.
In the very next room, a male patient was lying in bed and it was obvious that a nurse was performing oral s£x on him. Again, the woman screamed, "Oh my GOD!! How can THAT be justified?"
Again the doctor spoke very calmly, "Same illness, ma'am! at BUPA, those underage patients are being treated under a new physiotherapy method!!!"
A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the healthcare centre. When during her tour, she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously.
"Oh my GOD!!" screamed the woman, "That's disgraceful!!! Why is he doing that?"
The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained, "I'm very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a serious condition where his nuts rapidly fill with semen, and if he doesn't do that at least 5 times a day, he'll be in extreme pain and his nuts could easily rupture".
”Oh well, in that case, I guess it's ok." commented the woman.
In the very next room, a male patient was lying in bed and it was obvious that a nurse was performing oral s£x on him. Again, the woman screamed, "Oh my GOD!! How can THAT be justified?"
Again the doctor spoke very calmly, "Same illness, ma'am! at BUPA, those underage patients are being treated under a new physiotherapy method!!!"
by quan cao tien August 7, 2010
Get the BUPAmug. by quan cao tien October 5, 2010
Get the ABSmug. Hanoi or Ha Noi
Hanoi has been inhabited since at least 3000 BC. One of the first known permanent settlements is the “Co Loa Citadel” founded around 200 BC. Hanoi has many names such as “Thang Long”, “Dong Do”, “Dong Quan”, “Bac Thanh”, to name but a few. Now, Hanoi is the capital of the Socialist Republic of Vietnam (SRV) and Hanoi is a second to non melting pot in terms of education, science, culture and landscape of Vietnam. It is known dat Hanoi is very famous for its awesome and skilful handicraft products like silverware which is made in former Ngu Xa village, pottery in Bat Trang village, and the streets’ names were associated with those guilds made those products. Hanoi is very famous for Pho (a kind of traditional food), “Cha Ca” which is made in La Vong village, “Banh Cuon” which is made in Thanh Tri and “Com” (or “green sticky rice” which is wrapped in Lotus leaf) made in Vong village. Also, you can also eat snake dishes in Le Mat village. Hanoian accent is the standard one of Vietnam. Also, Hanoi is a city for Peace.
Hanoi has been inhabited since at least 3000 BC. One of the first known permanent settlements is the “Co Loa Citadel” founded around 200 BC. Hanoi has many names such as “Thang Long”, “Dong Do”, “Dong Quan”, “Bac Thanh”, to name but a few. Now, Hanoi is the capital of the Socialist Republic of Vietnam (SRV) and Hanoi is a second to non melting pot in terms of education, science, culture and landscape of Vietnam. It is known dat Hanoi is very famous for its awesome and skilful handicraft products like silverware which is made in former Ngu Xa village, pottery in Bat Trang village, and the streets’ names were associated with those guilds made those products. Hanoi is very famous for Pho (a kind of traditional food), “Cha Ca” which is made in La Vong village, “Banh Cuon” which is made in Thanh Tri and “Com” (or “green sticky rice” which is wrapped in Lotus leaf) made in Vong village. Also, you can also eat snake dishes in Le Mat village. Hanoian accent is the standard one of Vietnam. Also, Hanoi is a city for Peace.
I was walking around the center of Hanoi heading towards the Old Quarter of town when I came across three Vietnamese ladies selling all sorts of local fruits. The funny thing was that they were seated almost in the middle of the road where motorbikes were seen moving from all directions passing.
by quan cao tien August 19, 2010
Get the Hanoimug. The Cuckoo Clock
At about 3AM, I was drunk as a skunk because there was a lot of voddy. So, with a certain time limit, I did down it. I came home just in time to hear the cuckoo clock cuckoo three times. Quickly coming up with a plan, I cuckooed nine more times, hoping my wife would think it was midnight. I was very proud of myself.
The next day, my wife asked what time I got home, and I replied, "Midnight, just like I said."
She said that was good, and for some reason she said we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked why, she answered, "Last night when it cuckooed midnight, it cuckooed three times, said 'S%!t!,' cuckooed four more times, farted, cuckooed three times, cleared its throat, cuckooed two more times and then started giggling.
At about 3AM, I was drunk as a skunk because there was a lot of voddy. So, with a certain time limit, I did down it. I came home just in time to hear the cuckoo clock cuckoo three times. Quickly coming up with a plan, I cuckooed nine more times, hoping my wife would think it was midnight. I was very proud of myself.
The next day, my wife asked what time I got home, and I replied, "Midnight, just like I said."
She said that was good, and for some reason she said we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked why, she answered, "Last night when it cuckooed midnight, it cuckooed three times, said 'S%!t!,' cuckooed four more times, farted, cuckooed three times, cleared its throat, cuckooed two more times and then started giggling.
by quan cao tien August 19, 2010
Get the down itmug. *Interviewer: Pls let me know what keeps you happy?!!!
*Interviewee: Well, It is great to meet chicks who are as good as gold. To some extent, I highly appreciate my spouses' heart of gold because they have been living with me for years and bore me 13 sons and girls so far. As a result, I’ve been working very hard to support them all since I was 18 and however, they always play a key role in encouraging me to overcome such difficulties. Their care is a main source of my pride. this is worth my spouses' gold for me.
*Interviewer: Keep your fingers crossed for dat, sir!
*Interviewee: Well, It is great to meet chicks who are as good as gold. To some extent, I highly appreciate my spouses' heart of gold because they have been living with me for years and bore me 13 sons and girls so far. As a result, I’ve been working very hard to support them all since I was 18 and however, they always play a key role in encouraging me to overcome such difficulties. Their care is a main source of my pride. this is worth my spouses' gold for me.
*Interviewer: Keep your fingers crossed for dat, sir!
by quan cao tien August 6, 2010
Get the 18mug. Can't Eat Out.
Can't Even Operate.
Career Ending Opportunity.
Caribbean Elephants Organization.
Catch Every Obstacle.
Catholic Education Office.
Caustic Ego Online.
Central Economics Office.
Central Elite Operations.
Ceremonial Events Officer.
Certified Egoistic Organizer.
Championship Event Organizer.
Cheap Entertaining Opponent.
Cheese Eating Official.
Chief Eating Officer.
Chief Elf of Operations.
Chief Embezzling Offender.
Chief Emotional Officer.
Chief Ethics Officer.
Chief Evangelist Officer.
Chief Evangelistic Officer.
Chief Excessive Officer
Chief Execution Order.
Chief Executioner Omnipotent.
Chief Executive Officer.
Chiropractic Elite Organization.
Christmas and Easter Only.
Citrus Entity Overlord.
Clown Executive Officer.
Cock Eyed Optimist.
Collegiate Entrepreneurs' Organization.
Company Entertainer Octopus.
Competitive Edge Opportunities.
Comprehensive Electronic Office.
Computer Energy Organizer.
Conscientiously Energetic Overacting.
Constantly Evaluating Others.
Controlling Every Objective.
Cool English Only.
Corporate Europe Observatory.
Corrupt Executive Officer.
Costs Evened Out.
Covert Elite Operations.
Cranky Eccentric Oldster.
Cranky Evil Ogre.
Creating Excellent Organizations.
Creating Exceptional Opportunities.
Creating Extraordinary Outcomes.
Customer Employee Organization.
Cutting Everything Out.
Can't Even Operate.
Career Ending Opportunity.
Caribbean Elephants Organization.
Catch Every Obstacle.
Catholic Education Office.
Caustic Ego Online.
Central Economics Office.
Central Elite Operations.
Ceremonial Events Officer.
Certified Egoistic Organizer.
Championship Event Organizer.
Cheap Entertaining Opponent.
Cheese Eating Official.
Chief Eating Officer.
Chief Elf of Operations.
Chief Embezzling Offender.
Chief Emotional Officer.
Chief Ethics Officer.
Chief Evangelist Officer.
Chief Evangelistic Officer.
Chief Excessive Officer
Chief Execution Order.
Chief Executioner Omnipotent.
Chief Executive Officer.
Chiropractic Elite Organization.
Christmas and Easter Only.
Citrus Entity Overlord.
Clown Executive Officer.
Cock Eyed Optimist.
Collegiate Entrepreneurs' Organization.
Company Entertainer Octopus.
Competitive Edge Opportunities.
Comprehensive Electronic Office.
Computer Energy Organizer.
Conscientiously Energetic Overacting.
Constantly Evaluating Others.
Controlling Every Objective.
Cool English Only.
Corporate Europe Observatory.
Corrupt Executive Officer.
Costs Evened Out.
Covert Elite Operations.
Cranky Eccentric Oldster.
Cranky Evil Ogre.
Creating Excellent Organizations.
Creating Exceptional Opportunities.
Creating Extraordinary Outcomes.
Customer Employee Organization.
Cutting Everything Out.
A CEO (and member of Forbes 400!) throwing a party takes his executives on a tour of his opulent mansion. In the back of the property, the CEO has the largest swimming pool any of them has ever seen. The huge pool, however, is filled with hungry alligators. The CEO says to his executives “I think an executive should be measured by courage. Courage is what made me CEO. So this is my challenge to each of you: if anyone has enough courage to dive into the pool, swim through those alligators, and make it to the other side, I will give that person anything they desire. My job, my money, my house, anything!”
Everyone laughs at the outrageous offer and proceeds to follow the CEO on the tour of the estate. Suddenly, they hear a loud splash. Everyone turns around and sees the CFO (Chief Financial Officer) in the pool, swimming for his life. He dodges the alligators left and right and makes it to the edge of the pool with seconds to spare. He pulls himself out just as a huge alligator snaps at his shoes. The flabbergasted CEO approaches the CFO and says, “You are amazing. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. You are brave beyond measure and anything I own is yours. Tell me what I can do for you.”
The CFO, panting for breath, looks up and says, “You can tell me who the hell pushed me in the pool!!”
Everyone laughs at the outrageous offer and proceeds to follow the CEO on the tour of the estate. Suddenly, they hear a loud splash. Everyone turns around and sees the CFO (Chief Financial Officer) in the pool, swimming for his life. He dodges the alligators left and right and makes it to the edge of the pool with seconds to spare. He pulls himself out just as a huge alligator snaps at his shoes. The flabbergasted CEO approaches the CFO and says, “You are amazing. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. You are brave beyond measure and anything I own is yours. Tell me what I can do for you.”
The CFO, panting for breath, looks up and says, “You can tell me who the hell pushed me in the pool!!”
by quan cao tien August 7, 2010
Get the CEOmug.