3 definitions by qqduck

A variation of the Abe Lincoln performed using another person's pubic hair (i.e., not one's own). The recipient is often extremely surprised to have the John Wilkes Booth performed on him/her as the presence of a full head of pubic hair has given him/her comfort that an Abe Lincoln is not imminent. The individual performing the John Wilkes Booth typically exclaims "sic semper tyrannis" as he launches the pubes. The John Wilkes Booth can be performed anywhere, but is most often observed in theater balconies.
"Damn that Steve. I thought he was being a sweetheart by taking me to a play for my birthday, but then he goes and unloads a John Wilkes Booth on me."
by qqduck October 4, 2007
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The act of breaking up with one's significant other by performing an unwanted Abe Linclon on him/her. It is expected that the recipient will express outrage and a desire to end the relationship at which point the individual performing the Abe Lincoln typically proclaims "You're free to go", thereby emancipating the recipient from the relationship.
Michael - "Dude, did you break up with Tyra last night?"

Jeff - "Yup, I gave that skank the old Emancipation Proclamation!"
by qqduck December 20, 2007
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The poor man's Steak and a Blow Job Day. Instead of an elegant steak dinner and blow job, the man eats hamburgers at home followed by a mediocre round of obligatory sex.
Michael - "Hey man, it's Steak and Blow Job Day. Is your girl taking you out for a porterhouse tonight before going down on you?"

Jeff - "Sadly no. We're low on funds so it looks like it's another year of hamburgers followed by a dead lay."

Michael - "Ha! Another Ground Chuck and a Fuck Day for your poor ass!"
by qqduck March 13, 2008
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