ban hammer

The ban hammer is a power that website moderators have access to, that makes them feel as if they are dictators of the universe because they run a tiny little corner of the Internet, and that they wield like a club, to silence and intimidate any user who doesn't bow down to their fake Internet authority, or questions their decisions, which are always infallible, of course, because they are gods.

When the only conflict-resolution tool you have is a ban hammer, every problem looks like a nail.

by q359 July 25, 2023

death of the author

A pretentious, postmodern jerk-off idea, popular among some academics, that says that the creator of an artistic work is irrelevant to the work, that their thought processes and intentions in creating the work don't matter, that they are not an authority on the very thing that they created, and that YOU, the passive consumer of the work, are more qualified to know what the work is about than they are, who put tons of hard work and effort into creating it.

Who does this "Ray Bradbury" person think he is, saying that Fahrenheit 451 is about how nobody reads books anymore? *I* say it's about censorship, dammit! What does HE know, he only wrote the damn thing! Death of the author says that creators are just passive, empty vessels through which the Divine Muse speaks!

by q359 July 24, 2023

postmodernism

Postmodernism is a philosophy that holds that there are no such things as truth, facts, or objective reality, and such concepts are oppressive tools of the white male power structure. A common postmodernist refrain is "Perception is reality". Rather than there being an objective reality that everyone is perceiving through lenses that can and do contain distortions, postmodernism teaches that reality is different for every person, and there is no such thing as a false narrative. An old expression says that "There are three sides to every story: yours, mine, and the cold, hard truth". Postmodernism gets rid of that third side. Everybody's worldview, right down to the mentally disturbed person screaming on the subway about the end times, is equally valid. Young-earth creationists, flat-earthers, anti-vaxxers, and Q-Anon cultists are taken seriously, and have followings, because of postmodernism. Before postmodernism, these people would have been roundly dismissed as idiots, and rational minds would set the record straight.

We went from there being three news channels that admittedly told a slanted narrative, to one where there are millions of "news sources" to choose from to fit your own personal narrative. And we went from one stifling, oppressive (usually religiously-driven) set of moral standards, to NO moral standards whatsoever, and complete moral relativism. Because no answers is better than one answer, and you must NEVER tell a person that they're wrong.

When I was a kid I was foolishly taught that the sky was blue, but now, thanks to postmodernism, I know that the sky is whatever color a person believes it to be.

by q359 June 25, 2023

Hikaru Nakamura

A dude who is usually the world's #4 or #5 chess player based on whatever the current standings are, and also, a major fucking dick with anger issues.

Hikaru Nakamura is so good at chess that he'll beat you playing the Bongcloud, and then punch you in the face.

by q359 July 25, 2023

edgy

Edgy is a word whose meaning has greatly changed over time. Back in the '60s-early '80s, "edgy" referred to talented satirists like George Carlin who took well-deserved potshots at a notoriously conservative, straight-laced, and repressive establishment who had strict rules about what you could and couldn't say on broadcast. Nowadays, since people like Carlin basically won that battle a long time ago, and it's normal to hear people talking about vibrators on Oprah, "edgy" refers to people who just say outrageous things for shock value, or take knee-jerk, reflexive anti-authority/anti-status-quo stances without carefully thinking over the ramifications of what they're advocating.

I spent 10 minutes on Reddit, and in those 10 minutes, I learned from some 14-year-olds that the Holocaust is hilarious, that all fat people are lazy pieces of shit, and that the reasonable solution to environmental pollution is to ban all cars. How very, very edgy.

by q359 July 24, 2023

patzer

In chess circles, a bad chess player. Often, but not always, an opponent who is not only much worse than you, but actively pisses you off with poor sportsmanship, bad manners at the board (or online), or just general dumbassery.

Keep in mind, patzerism is relative. Everyone is a patzer to someone better. A person who casually plays chess is a patzer to even someone with a basic knowledge of tactics. That person is a patzer to a decent club player. The decent club player is a patzer to the club champion. The club champion is a patzer to Alexandra Botez. Alex is a patzer to Levy Rozman. Levy is a patzer to even a mediocre GM. Every other human being alive is a patzer to Magnus Carlsen, and Magnus is a patzer to Stockfish.

This patzer got his queen out on move 2, coughed in his hands and then touched my pieces immediately afterward, and then offered me a draw after he hung his queen. What a dumbass.

by q359 July 24, 2023

fucktangle

The geometric shape of something that has been smashed beyond recognition.

That truck used to be a rectangle until the dumbass crashed it, now it's a fucktangle.

by q359 July 25, 2023