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GothamChess

GothamChess, aka Levy Rozman, is an International Master (IM) of chess from New York City, who during the pandemic lockdown of 2020-21, even more so than Netflix's The Queen's Gambit, almost singlehandedly got an entire new generation of young people interested in the game of chess, a game that most people had previously thought boring. He did this by being witty, funny, and excitedly recapping games of chess like a charismatic sports announcer covering a tense basketball game, and in doing so, got richer than even the world's top chess players, because there isn't much money in actually playing the game. He is known for sacrificing THE ROOOOOOOOK, and for calling bad chess players "bozos".
Some old-school, humorless chess-playing dorks think GothamChess is annoying, but he's laughing all the way to the fucking bank.
by q359 July 24, 2023
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reddit

Reddit is a discussion forum (NOT "social media"; they are two different things, and discussion forums predated social media by several decades) that COULD be a nice place to hold interesting conversations about any number of topics, if it were run by people who had a clue about how to maintain order, but since it is not, it is a playground for adolescent bullies and bitter male virgins, who quash dissenting views with mass downvotes even though the rules say that this is not what the downvote is for (but nobody listens, and the moderators don't enforce this), the worst kind of racists, misogynists, homophobes, transphobes, and just general sociopaths that you will ever come across, power-tripping subreddit mods who think they're God because they run a tiny little corner of the Internet, and where the idiot that you're arguing with might literally be 14 (this is not even hyperbole; they actually let minors use the site, even places like /r/sex that minors should DEFINITELY not be posting in).
There's a subreddit called /r/Negareddit that supposedly calls out all of the rest of Reddit's horrid tendencies, but in reality it's not even much better or different, people in that sub engage in all the same old bullshit too.
Even subs pertaining to topics that you like and are interested in, are probably not worth participating in, because of the people there.
Honestly, the only good thing on Reddit is the very prolific amount of user-submitted porn.
Go to Reddit if you want to be called an asshole in 67,735 different ways within an hour no matter what you say, observe some of the worst specimens that humanity has to offer, and have your very character called into question by people who have never felt the touch of a woman, but if you actually want to have a mature, logical discussion about anything, you're going to have a bad time.
by q359 July 24, 2023
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ban cars

An very edgy slogan that environmentalists without any realistic solutions to offer (like hmm, more affordable electric cars?), and angry bicyclists who refuse to upgrade to a more modern (and adult) form of transportation, actually propose in earnest as a thing that society should or could do, as if it would not immediately make modern existence completely impossible, which they might realize if they even took 5 seconds to consider the ramifications of their asinine proposal.
"Cars pollute and drivers are big meanies to me on my bicycle, ban cars! It's not like this would make grocery shopping extremely difficult for most people, prevent anyone from ever traveling more than 50 miles away from their home, and also, I would have no goods or food at all, since literally everything I own was delivered by a truck! This is totally a reasonable solution, and not an adolescent overreaction at all! I'm so superior to you all for not owning a car, oh shit, I need a ride somewhere, better call up my friend who has a car/take an Uber!"
by q359 July 25, 2023
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patzer

In chess circles, a bad chess player. Often, but not always, an opponent who is not only much worse than you, but actively pisses you off with poor sportsmanship, bad manners at the board (or online), or just general dumbassery.

Keep in mind, patzerism is relative. Everyone is a patzer to someone better. A person who casually plays chess is a patzer to even someone with a basic knowledge of tactics. That person is a patzer to a decent club player. The decent club player is a patzer to the club champion. The club champion is a patzer to Alexandra Botez. Alex is a patzer to Levy Rozman. Levy is a patzer to even a mediocre GM. Every other human being alive is a patzer to Magnus Carlsen, and Magnus is a patzer to Stockfish.
This patzer got his queen out on move 2, coughed in his hands and then touched my pieces immediately afterward, and then offered me a draw after he hung his queen. What a dumbass.
by q359 July 24, 2023
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IQ

A bogus concept that claims to be a measure of intelligence, but in reality, is as problematic as using BMI as a measure of healthy weight. IQ tests have been demonstrated to be culturally biased (that is, they rely heavily on questions that presuppose knowledge of white, Western culture). In reality, intelligence isn't something people are born with varying amounts of, it's a muscle that people choose to exercise or not, and just about anyone (save for the PROFOUNDLY cognitively disabled) can be smart or stupid, depending on whether they choose to be observant of what's really going on around them, pay attention to detail, and learn from experiences both positive and negative, or just walk around the world like a dumbass with their head in the sand. There are many more stupid people in the world, because stupidity is the path of least resistance, being smart takes effort. Some people are better with numbers, memorizing patterns, spatial orientation, sure, but that isn't intelligence, those are just specific skills that people will naturally have varying degrees of. True intelligence or stupidity isn't something that's inborn, it's a choice to pay attention, make good decisions, and seek out helpful information, or not. The fact that so many high-IQ people are good at taking tests, but are complete and utter dumbasses in every other facet of life, should put to rest the idea that IQ means anything at all, but unfortunately, this very stupid myth still persists.
The fact that there are high-IQ people who advocate fascism, but my ex-girlfriend who is technically learning-disabled, and so bad with directions that she could get lost in a NYC street grid, volunteers her time passionately to help immigrants and low-income people, and taught herself Spanish, proves that IQ has jack-all to do with actual intelligence.
by q359 July 24, 2023
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99.999999%

A completely unscientific, pulled-out-of-the ass statistic that people use that is not based on ANY actual statistical research, when they want to assure you that their very bullheaded, highly-opinionated conclusion is true ALMOST all of the time, but oh-so-humbly admit that there is an infinitesimal, but non-zero, chance of a case happening where they might be wrong. Sometimes people keep it simple and just say 99%, but feel free to add more nines after the decimal the more smug and self-assured you want to sound. A way of having it both ways, and saying "I believe that I am right all the time!" without TECHNICALLY saying that you think you're right ALL the time.

According to the Internet, an ASTOUNDING number of things are true 99.9999999999% of the time.
Dumbass: Sure, it's technically true that someone could be fat because of genetics or glandular issues, but 99.999999% of the time, it's because they're a lazy piece of shit who won't put down the cake.
by q359 July 24, 2023
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virtue signaling

Something conservatives accuse liberals of doing any time they show any virtue at all.
This person told me I should be nice to gay people, I'm so sick of this virtue signaling!
by q359 June 27, 2023
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