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q359's definitions

cunt

The granddaddy of all swear words, in America we're weirdly offended by this word for some reason, whereas the Brits and Aussies know that it's no more offensive than any other vulgar word. Some people say it's inherently a slur against women, which is just silly, it CAN be a slur against women if you're a misogynist shitbird who just uses it that way, otherwise it's just another swear word and we Americans need to get over it.
Literally it's a perfectly good slang word for the female genitals, figuratively it refers to a person (of any gender) who is SO unpleasant and awful, that lesser swear words just won't do, and thus it serves a legitimate linguistic need and we should all stop being such cunts about the word cunt.
In Scotland they practically greet each other by calling each other cunts, why are we so uptight about the word cunt in this stupid cunt-ry?
by q359 July 25, 2023
mugGet the cuntmug.

99.999999%

A completely unscientific, pulled-out-of-the ass statistic that people use that is not based on ANY actual statistical research, when they want to assure you that their very bullheaded, highly-opinionated conclusion is true ALMOST all of the time, but oh-so-humbly admit that there is an infinitesimal, but non-zero, chance of a case happening where they might be wrong. Sometimes people keep it simple and just say 99%, but feel free to add more nines after the decimal the more smug and self-assured you want to sound. A way of having it both ways, and saying "I believe that I am right all the time!" without TECHNICALLY saying that you think you're right ALL the time.

According to the Internet, an ASTOUNDING number of things are true 99.9999999999% of the time.
Dumbass: Sure, it's technically true that someone could be fat because of genetics or glandular issues, but 99.999999% of the time, it's because they're a lazy piece of shit who won't put down the cake.
by q359 July 24, 2023
mugGet the 99.999999%mug.

patzer

In chess circles, a bad chess player. Often, but not always, an opponent who is not only much worse than you, but actively pisses you off with poor sportsmanship, bad manners at the board (or online), or just general dumbassery.

Keep in mind, patzerism is relative. Everyone is a patzer to someone better. A person who casually plays chess is a patzer to even someone with a basic knowledge of tactics. That person is a patzer to a decent club player. The decent club player is a patzer to the club champion. The club champion is a patzer to Alexandra Botez. Alex is a patzer to Levy Rozman. Levy is a patzer to even a mediocre GM. Every other human being alive is a patzer to Magnus Carlsen, and Magnus is a patzer to Stockfish.
This patzer got his queen out on move 2, coughed in his hands and then touched my pieces immediately afterward, and then offered me a draw after he hung his queen. What a dumbass.
by q359 July 24, 2023
mugGet the patzermug.

virtue signaling

Something conservatives accuse liberals of doing any time they show any virtue at all.
This person told me I should be nice to gay people, I'm so sick of this virtue signaling!
by q359 June 27, 2023
mugGet the virtue signalingmug.

alternative facts

A term that REALLY just fucking means lies, but thanks to postmodernism, we're not allowed to call them that anymore, because everyone's viewpoint is equally valid, there is no such thing as a false narrative, and everyone is entitled to their own personal reality.
You say the sun is made of hydrogen and helium, I say it's made of whale farts and silly string! Those are my alternative facts! Nobody is right or wrong, there is no such thing as objectivity, we have to respect everyone's viewpoint!
by q359 July 25, 2023
mugGet the alternative factsmug.

Libertarian

An edgy conservative who likes to smoke weed.
Larry Libertarian believes that workers have no rights, taxation is theft, racial discrimination should be legal, regulations that protect clean air and water should be rolled back, and everything else that a Republican believes...but he wants to legalize the marijuana, so all the 20-somethings think he's cool.
by q359 March 5, 2017
mugGet the Libertarianmug.

Libertarian

John is a libertarian. He has a ponytail, likes marijuana, and doesn't hate gay people, but otherwise, he is indistinguishable from a Republican.
by q359 October 22, 2022
mugGet the Libertarianmug.

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