q359's definitions

emotional support animal

A completely idiotic, 100% crock-of-shit psychological movement that caters to emotionally-stunted, entitled adult children who can't do basic life errands without having an animal buddy by their side at all times, and disingenuous shitbirds who like to co-opt the language of disability to abuse loopholes in order to have pets where pets are not allowed.

What do you mean, I can't bring a fully-grown adult crocodile on an airplane? It's my emotional support animal, you're being ableist!

by q359 July 24, 2023

society

An important concept to human existence, that people in the 21st century have forgotten the entire meaning of (and conservatives just flat-out do not believe in, Margaret Thatcher said it herself).
Society means that everything is not just about YOUR desires all the time, there are other people who matter besides yourself, and that you can't just do what YOU want all the time, you have to consider not only the people immediately in your vicinity, but the rest of the population of your country (and ultimately, the world, but let's work on the small things first, people can't even get that right).

Yes, you have to pay your taxes. Yes, you have to wear your seat belt. Yes, you have to wear a mask (properly!) during a deadly pandemic. No, you can't drive like a fuckhead, cut in lines, and take your guns to fucking Starbucks. You live in a SOCIETY.

by q359 July 25, 2023

alternative medicine

Stuff that is not medicine, and has no medicinal properties, but conspiracy theorists and other dumbasses insist is the REAL medicine, because the entire healthcare field is a sham, or something, and the knowledge of people from 500-1000 years ago when they didn't even have toilets is superior to modern science.

Don't listen to those Big Pharma quacks telling you to get radiation treatment for your cancer, here, drink this soup of tree bark and lemongrass, it's alternative medicine.

by q359 July 25, 2023

fucktangle

The geometric shape of something that has been smashed beyond recognition.

That truck used to be a rectangle until the dumbass crashed it, now it's a fucktangle.

by q359 July 25, 2023

ban cars

An very edgy slogan that environmentalists without any realistic solutions to offer (like hmm, more affordable electric cars?), and angry bicyclists who refuse to upgrade to a more modern (and adult) form of transportation, actually propose in earnest as a thing that society should or could do, as if it would not immediately make modern existence completely impossible, which they might realize if they even took 5 seconds to consider the ramifications of their asinine proposal.

"Cars pollute and drivers are big meanies to me on my bicycle, ban cars! It's not like this would make grocery shopping extremely difficult for most people, prevent anyone from ever traveling more than 50 miles away from their home, and also, I would have no goods or food at all, since literally everything I own was delivered by a truck! This is totally a reasonable solution, and not an adolescent overreaction at all! I'm so superior to you all for not owning a car, oh shit, I need a ride somewhere, better call up my friend who has a car/take an Uber!"

by q359 July 25, 2023

patzer

In chess circles, a bad chess player. Often, but not always, an opponent who is not only much worse than you, but actively pisses you off with poor sportsmanship, bad manners at the board (or online), or just general dumbassery.

Keep in mind, patzerism is relative. Everyone is a patzer to someone better. A person who casually plays chess is a patzer to even someone with a basic knowledge of tactics. That person is a patzer to a decent club player. The decent club player is a patzer to the club champion. The club champion is a patzer to Alexandra Botez. Alex is a patzer to Levy Rozman. Levy is a patzer to even a mediocre GM. Every other human being alive is a patzer to Magnus Carlsen, and Magnus is a patzer to Stockfish.

This patzer got his queen out on move 2, coughed in his hands and then touched my pieces immediately afterward, and then offered me a draw after he hung his queen. What a dumbass.

by q359 July 24, 2023

spirituality

A term that means absolutely nothing at all, but that people claim to practice when they want to sound deep, and mystically wise, but it's not RELIGION, they would never practice anything so crass and gauche as RELIGION, of course, they want to let you know that they're not like those silly God-botherers, no, THEY just engage in the exact type of magical thinking as religious followers, but don't even have the "God" excuse to fall back on.

Dumbass: Ever since I fucked up my life, I've decided to begin practicing spirituality. I'm not religious, I'm spiritual.
Rational Person: What the fuck does that even mean?

by q359 July 25, 2023