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provider44's definitions

nonkey

James is your typical nonkey. He thinks he can get ahead by dressing up in the quasi venerable raiments of the avaricious and grasping white power ego businessman. I suggest he stays true to his own authentic greatness.
by provider44 January 15, 2010
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coaster demotion

when a compact disk your taste is offended by, or due to the fact that they are becoming outmoded, is relegated to coffee table stain prevention status aka ctsps.
I found a cd that was so hideous i had to buy it just so I could shame it by forcing it into a slave life of coaster demotion and hold drinks until it breaks.
by provider44 January 18, 2010
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hidge creatch

i walked into the biker bar and it was stuffed full of mumblecrusts, stumblebums, tosspots and one hidge creatch in particular that i still think of to this day when im trying to vomit after a night of excessive drinking.
by provider44 January 14, 2010
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tip grip

when the semen on the end of the penis sticks to the underwear
I scurried off to the restroom to urinate after sex because I was well aware of the impending onset of dreaded tip grip.
by provider44 January 14, 2010
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j-shored

to feel if as you have lost all brain power and devolved into some sort of primate subhuman hybrid after watching reality television for an extended amount of time.
I collapsed like a lubed up combination ladder in my bedroom after being j-shored by the reality show marathon i could not pull myself away from today.
by provider44 January 16, 2010
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snookied

a woman who is struck close fisted by a man in public
I strolled through Cleveland's downtown area and was filled with horror at the sight of an elderly woman being snookied by a craven cut-purse
by provider44 January 14, 2010
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zeard

Doug had the most exquisite beard this side of the Ohio river. But with the seemingly well cultivated zit garden on his sister Chelsea's chin, you would think she maintained her zeard out of some strange case of penis envy.
by provider44 January 14, 2010
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