11 definitions by pi@noguy
The abnormally large hands of a musician, typically one who plays the piano. Can also pertain to the hands of a musician who plays an instrument requiring a wide physical reach such as guitar or bass. Note: hands must be freakishly huge and may only be called piano hands if the specimen is musically inclined. That's right, we know who you are, impostors. . .
Derek: How is it even possible that you can pick up that watermelon with one hand?
Dave: Piano hands, dude. Piano hands. . .
Dave: Piano hands, dude. Piano hands. . .
by pi@noguy January 9, 2011
WARNING: THIS ACT SHOULD SHALL NOT BE ATTEMPTED IN REAL LIFE. THIS IS A HYPOTHETICAL ACT THAT IF PHYSICALLY RE-ENACTED, WILL PROBABLY LEAD TO YOUR FORCED DEPARTURE OF YOUR LOCAL MARKET, WITH OR WITHOUT YOUR GROCERY STORE PURCHASES.
Cart shopping is when you go into your local grocery store, armed with your shopping list, but instead of taking your items off of the shelves, you can only take the items on your list from other patron's shopping carts. The trick is not getting caught. If you do get caught, you immediately have to forfeit all of your items, and go and but ten quarts of mayonnaise.
Cart shopping is when you go into your local grocery store, armed with your shopping list, but instead of taking your items off of the shelves, you can only take the items on your list from other patron's shopping carts. The trick is not getting caught. If you do get caught, you immediately have to forfeit all of your items, and go and but ten quarts of mayonnaise.
Old Lady: Oi! I saw you try and take that kielbasa! You, you, you. . . Cart Shopper! Now go on and get yourself some mayonnaaaaiiise!
Cartshopper: *places mayonnaise on cash register conveyer belt*
Cashier: . . . Cart shopping?
Cartshopper: *nods*
Cashier: ROFL
Cartshopper: *places mayonnaise on cash register conveyer belt*
Cashier: . . . Cart shopping?
Cartshopper: *nods*
Cashier: ROFL
by pi@noguy January 9, 2011
(noun)
An instrument that measures the level of a person's sobbing. This is generally applied to a person who has just been through a traumatic break-up, or otherwise mentally damaging experience.
Also used to detect feminine and/or gay tendencies in humans.
From the greek "Cryometer", an instrument that measures coldness.
An instrument that measures the level of a person's sobbing. This is generally applied to a person who has just been through a traumatic break-up, or otherwise mentally damaging experience.
Also used to detect feminine and/or gay tendencies in humans.
From the greek "Cryometer", an instrument that measures coldness.
Jack: Dude, Jen broke up with John!
Josh: OMG! Have you seen him yet?
Jack: Yeah I was up with him all night. He was like a 10 on the cry-ometer.
Josh: Oh man, this is some heavy *^&%!
Josh: OMG! Have you seen him yet?
Jack: Yeah I was up with him all night. He was like a 10 on the cry-ometer.
Josh: Oh man, this is some heavy *^&%!
by pi@noguy December 6, 2010
A pretzel that you use to distract someone/something in order to get access to an item, i.e. laptop, car, money etc.
Jason: Hey can I use your computer?
Jen: No.
Jason: *holds out distraction pretzel, tosses it in corner*
Jen: *leaps for pretzel*
Jason: *grabs computer and quickly updates Facebook Status*
Jen: No.
Jason: *holds out distraction pretzel, tosses it in corner*
Jen: *leaps for pretzel*
Jason: *grabs computer and quickly updates Facebook Status*
by pi@noguy January 6, 2011
A conversational endpoint that you use when some little whiny worm is complaining to you and you are sick of it. Will often belittle complainer and give complain-ee a defining sense of satisfaction.
Whining little worm: Ughhhh, I got dirty snow on my Uggs, and my cell phone is broken, and things are really hard at home with my parents and ugh I'm just so stressed!
Me: . . . if only bananas were longer. . .
Whining Little Worm: *Silence*
Me: . . . if only bananas were longer. . .
Whining Little Worm: *Silence*
by pi@noguy January 13, 2011
(noun)
A joke that somebody tells when they first wake up that makes no sense. They come up with it in their sleep, and in accordance with all dream rules and regulation, it makes sense when they are half awake. The humor and logic of the joke usually wears off mid-speak, but because they started the joke, they have to finish it. It is usually replied to with looks of concern, or looks that convey, "What the *&%^ are you on?"
In contrast, the jokes can sometimes be funny if the person you tell it to has experience with the situation you talk yourself into.
A joke that somebody tells when they first wake up that makes no sense. They come up with it in their sleep, and in accordance with all dream rules and regulation, it makes sense when they are half awake. The humor and logic of the joke usually wears off mid-speak, but because they started the joke, they have to finish it. It is usually replied to with looks of concern, or looks that convey, "What the *&%^ are you on?"
In contrast, the jokes can sometimes be funny if the person you tell it to has experience with the situation you talk yourself into.
Jack: Dude, I came up with a wicked funny joke in my sleep. Wanna hear it?
Josh: Yeah, sure, bro. Good morning, by the way.
Jack: Yeah, good morning. K, here goes: Why can't you put fruit in wells? *puzzled face*
Josh: I dunno, why?
Jack: Wait, never mind, it doesn't make any sense.
Josh: No, c'mon man you can't just start a joke and not finish it! Spit it out!
Jack: Uhhhh. . . 'cuz uh. . . they are star fruit?
*pause*
Eruption of laughter
Josh: Dude, that had to be a dream joke!
Jack: Definitely. Sorry bro. Hey is that coffee done yet?
Josh: Yeah, sure, bro. Good morning, by the way.
Jack: Yeah, good morning. K, here goes: Why can't you put fruit in wells? *puzzled face*
Josh: I dunno, why?
Jack: Wait, never mind, it doesn't make any sense.
Josh: No, c'mon man you can't just start a joke and not finish it! Spit it out!
Jack: Uhhhh. . . 'cuz uh. . . they are star fruit?
*pause*
Eruption of laughter
Josh: Dude, that had to be a dream joke!
Jack: Definitely. Sorry bro. Hey is that coffee done yet?
by pi@noguy December 7, 2010
by pi@noguy January 9, 2011