1 definition by pepto_bismol
Noun. Casually referred to by some as a "toilet tempest"; however, this is no casual matter.
It is a serious condition that generally originates from the ingestion of Thai food that has not received an "A" on its recent health inspection examination. The first signs of the condition (i.e. flatulence to an instant need of new trousers) usually appear within 30 seconds to 6 hours after initial ingestion. Leave the premises in a hurry and find the nearest restroom. Sit down on the throne and push right through the initial traffic-jam. Think about popping the cork off a bottle of wine, it should soon start to flow. Like a storm. The term "toilet tempest" is derived thereof.
After a fierce, epic battle with the tempest, the wine bottle is finally empty. Now proceed to use up a whole roll of Charmin® Ultra Soft, even with the 25% bonus amount that you get when you buy a Costco pack. In the end, your anus will be (at least) chapped and bleeding, so you decide to leave a few squares of toilet paper in your underwear to soak up excess blood.
Well, upon trying to flush the toilet, you find that it has been clogged about 20 times over. Without your own plunger, you wash your hands (3 times) and leave the restroom. On the way out, you tell the janitor that there is a "surprise" waiting for him (of which he's already aware due to the stench that is peeling the paint off the walls). Finally, you go and find your friends and try to forget about the horrors that you've just experienced.
It is a serious condition that generally originates from the ingestion of Thai food that has not received an "A" on its recent health inspection examination. The first signs of the condition (i.e. flatulence to an instant need of new trousers) usually appear within 30 seconds to 6 hours after initial ingestion. Leave the premises in a hurry and find the nearest restroom. Sit down on the throne and push right through the initial traffic-jam. Think about popping the cork off a bottle of wine, it should soon start to flow. Like a storm. The term "toilet tempest" is derived thereof.
After a fierce, epic battle with the tempest, the wine bottle is finally empty. Now proceed to use up a whole roll of Charmin® Ultra Soft, even with the 25% bonus amount that you get when you buy a Costco pack. In the end, your anus will be (at least) chapped and bleeding, so you decide to leave a few squares of toilet paper in your underwear to soak up excess blood.
Well, upon trying to flush the toilet, you find that it has been clogged about 20 times over. Without your own plunger, you wash your hands (3 times) and leave the restroom. On the way out, you tell the janitor that there is a "surprise" waiting for him (of which he's already aware due to the stench that is peeling the paint off the walls). Finally, you go and find your friends and try to forget about the horrors that you've just experienced.
John: "Nick went with his friends to 'Wild Thai'. He ended up with explosive diarrhea."
Joe: "Toilet tempest, man!"
Joe: "Toilet tempest, man!"
by pepto_bismol February 19, 2014