parallel_master's definitions

PILK

acronym for People I'd Like to Kill

all these assholes are going on my PILK list

by parallel_master December 8, 2017

Sample Squatters

Costco shoppers who park their cart next to the free sample stand, waiting for the next batch to be ready. Usually parking in such a way that blocks easy access to other carts, discouraging other sample seekers.

Amy: "Hey, we should go get some free samples."

Matt: "Nah, it's already surrounded by sample squatters."

Amy: "Let's go ram their carts!"

Matt: "Now you're talkin'."

by parallel_master September 25, 2017

Pretenglish

A fake English accent. Short for pretend English, or pretentious English.

Guy: "Blimey! That bloke's a bloody wanker! Bullocks!"

Other guy: "Stop speaking Pretenglish, you're from Arizona."

by parallel_master April 2, 2019

hipster alert

Phrase uttered when encountering an unexpected hipster sighting in the wild. Can also be used to poke fun at a friend who just inadvertently said something hipster.

"There's something deeply noble about growing your own vegetables."

"Hipster alert!"

by parallel_master June 13, 2018

Shy Shitter

A person pooping in a public restroom, who goes immediately silent when someone else enters the facility as if embarrassed to be pooping in public.

Guy #1:"It sure is quiet in here, but I can tell someone's in that stall."

Guy #2: "Probably just a shy shitter."

by parallel_master September 24, 2017

shitbat crazy

Like batshit crazy, only shittier and battier.

My ex-girlfriend was shitbat crazy, but she was great in bed.

by parallel_master December 8, 2017

passive aggro

Passive aggressive.

I drank some of my roommate's milk, and later he went all passive aggro and wrote his name on all his food with black marker.

by parallel_master October 6, 2017