(phone vibrates)
Wolf: “Oh, no. No, no, no.”
Judy: “Oh, no. What?”
Wolf: “There's a new post to Mom's blog. Oh, God. Mom's on a flight. And she's already three plane-aritas deep.”
Beef: “Do you feel that, children? The way the wind has stilled in the pines, and the caribou no longer utters its lonely howl? She is set upon us.”
Wolf: “Oh, no. No, no, no.”
Judy: “Oh, no. What?”
Wolf: “There's a new post to Mom's blog. Oh, God. Mom's on a flight. And she's already three plane-aritas deep.”
Beef: “Do you feel that, children? The way the wind has stilled in the pines, and the caribou no longer utters its lonely howl? She is set upon us.”
by natalie portmanteaux September 23, 2024
Larissa: "Hey, guys, sorry-- I had to stay late at school. We had a bullying lesson. From me." (blowing raspberries three times)
Girls: "2-5-7!"
Louise: "What the hell was that?"
Patty: "Our handshake. Love it or lick it, snurb."
Louise: "Hey, I love it already, snurb." (blows raspberry)
Patty: "No, it's like this." (blowing three raspberries)
Girls: "2-5-7!"
Louise: "Aah! That's awesome! Do it again!"
Patty: "All right. Rock and roll." (blowing three raspberries)
Girls: "2-5-7!"
Girls: "2-5-7!"
Louise: "What the hell was that?"
Patty: "Our handshake. Love it or lick it, snurb."
Louise: "Hey, I love it already, snurb." (blows raspberry)
Patty: "No, it's like this." (blowing three raspberries)
Girls: "2-5-7!"
Louise: "Aah! That's awesome! Do it again!"
Patty: "All right. Rock and roll." (blowing three raspberries)
Girls: "2-5-7!"
by natalie portmanteaux September 23, 2023
Danny: "Yep, there's some things you just gotta see. Like those lovebirds over there. Or this guy, pulling off business and casual. Bisasual. Or me about to steal half of this guy's sub."
Guy: "Huh?"
Danny: "You better eat it fast because I'm coming."
Guy: "Huh?"
Danny: "You better eat it fast because I'm coming."
by natalie portmanteaux December 17, 2022
Judy: “The thing is, Alanis, it's Spring. That time of yea when I should be getting my Jude groove on. You know, lovin' and leavin', kissin' and quittin', first base and then get out of my face.”
Alanis: “I get it. You should be making out under the dock. Staying out until 10 o'clock.”
Judy: “Abso-slut-ly I should, but I am currently in a wasteland of no boy-related excitement.”
Alanis: “I get it. You should be making out under the dock. Staying out until 10 o'clock.”
Judy: “Abso-slut-ly I should, but I am currently in a wasteland of no boy-related excitement.”
by natalie portmanteaux September 22, 2024
Dramadjacent, a portmanteau of drama and adjacent.
"just coz I said I don't wanna be part of the drama doesn't mean I don't wanna know what the drama is"
"just coz I said I don't wanna be part of the drama doesn't mean I don't wanna know what the drama is"
by natalie portmanteaux April 22, 2021
Honeybee: “Ugh, it's so cold in here, my fingers feel like a pack of frozen hot dogs. Oh, no, now I want to eat my fingers. Ooh, why don't we wait in that place over there?”
Wolf: “Crocodile Rob's? Yeah, no can do. That's on Dad's "Tobins No Go Ins" list. One of the spots where Mom used to get black-out drunk and pull some of her most notorious funanigans. It's strictly forbidden.”
Honeybee: “I get it, your mom is haunting you like a Julianne Moore performance, but I'm freezing, so we're going just this once.”
Wolf: “Okay, fine, but I'm warning you, I bet this place is a total anus.”
Honeybee: “Yeah, but it looks like a warm anus that's probably full of artichoke dip, so let's roll.”
Wolf: “Crocodile Rob's? Yeah, no can do. That's on Dad's "Tobins No Go Ins" list. One of the spots where Mom used to get black-out drunk and pull some of her most notorious funanigans. It's strictly forbidden.”
Honeybee: “I get it, your mom is haunting you like a Julianne Moore performance, but I'm freezing, so we're going just this once.”
Wolf: “Okay, fine, but I'm warning you, I bet this place is a total anus.”
Honeybee: “Yeah, but it looks like a warm anus that's probably full of artichoke dip, so let's roll.”
by natalie portmanteaux September 23, 2024
Honeybee: “Ugh, it's so cold in here, my fingers feel like a pack of frozen hot dogs. Oh, no, now I want to eat my fingers. Ooh, why don't we wait in that place over there?”
Wolf: “Crocodile Rob's? Yeah, no can do. That's on Dad's "Tobins No Go Ins" list. One of the spots where Mom used to get black-out drunk and pull some of her most notorious funanigans. It's strictly forbidden.”
Honeybee: “I get it, your mom is haunting you like a Julianne Moore performance, but I'm freezing, so we're going just this once.”
Wolf: “Crocodile Rob's? Yeah, no can do. That's on Dad's "Tobins No Go Ins" list. One of the spots where Mom used to get black-out drunk and pull some of her most notorious funanigans. It's strictly forbidden.”
Honeybee: “I get it, your mom is haunting you like a Julianne Moore performance, but I'm freezing, so we're going just this once.”
by natalie portmanteaux September 22, 2024