natalie portmanteaux's definitions
by natalie portmanteaux January 15, 2023
Get the bougar mug.Honeybee: “Ugh, it's so cold in here, my fingers feel like a pack of frozen hot dogs. Oh, no, now I want to eat my fingers. Ooh, why don't we wait in that place over there?”
Wolf: “Crocodile Rob's? Yeah, no can do. That's on Dad's "Tobins No Go Ins" list. One of the spots where Mom used to get black-out drunk and pull some of her most notorious funanigans. It's strictly forbidden.”
Honeybee: “I get it, your mom is haunting you like a Julianne Moore performance, but I'm freezing, so we're going just this once.”
Wolf: “Okay, fine, but I'm warning you, I bet this place is a total anus.”
Honeybee: “Yeah, but it looks like a warm anus that's probably full of artichoke dip, so let's roll.”
Wolf: “Crocodile Rob's? Yeah, no can do. That's on Dad's "Tobins No Go Ins" list. One of the spots where Mom used to get black-out drunk and pull some of her most notorious funanigans. It's strictly forbidden.”
Honeybee: “I get it, your mom is haunting you like a Julianne Moore performance, but I'm freezing, so we're going just this once.”
Wolf: “Okay, fine, but I'm warning you, I bet this place is a total anus.”
Honeybee: “Yeah, but it looks like a warm anus that's probably full of artichoke dip, so let's roll.”
by natalie portmanteaux September 23, 2024
Get the funanigans mug.Katya: Mr. Sleepy Head!
Archer: Sleep? I've been doing yogic breathing work for two hours. My balls are like cranbaisins.
Katya: What?
Archer: Cranberry raisins?
Katya: Craisins?
Archer: Whatever, yes, I call them cranbaisins.
Archer: Sleep? I've been doing yogic breathing work for two hours. My balls are like cranbaisins.
Katya: What?
Archer: Cranberry raisins?
Katya: Craisins?
Archer: Whatever, yes, I call them cranbaisins.
by natalie portmanteaux May 28, 2023
Get the cranbaisins mug.Helen: "Well, I'd like that very much. What kind of restaurant is it?"
Gene: "Slop shop."
Louis: "Butt hut."
Tina: "It's nice."
Helen: "I am in."
Teddy: "Perfect! I'll go there now and wait."
Linda: "What a wonderful little adventurecation!"
Bob: "Oh, I hurt so much."
Gene: "Slop shop."
Louis: "Butt hut."
Tina: "It's nice."
Helen: "I am in."
Teddy: "Perfect! I'll go there now and wait."
Linda: "What a wonderful little adventurecation!"
Bob: "Oh, I hurt so much."
by natalie portmanteaux September 27, 2023
Get the adventurecation mug.(phone vibrates)
Wolf: “Oh, no. No, no, no.”
Judy: “Oh, no. What?”
Wolf: “There's a new post to Mom's blog. Oh, God. Mom's on a flight. And she's already three plane-aritas deep.”
Beef: “Do you feel that, children? The way the wind has stilled in the pines, and the caribou no longer utters its lonely howl? She is set upon us.”
Wolf: “Oh, no. No, no, no.”
Judy: “Oh, no. What?”
Wolf: “There's a new post to Mom's blog. Oh, God. Mom's on a flight. And she's already three plane-aritas deep.”
Beef: “Do you feel that, children? The way the wind has stilled in the pines, and the caribou no longer utters its lonely howl? She is set upon us.”
by natalie portmanteaux September 23, 2024
Get the plane-arita mug.Terry: "Damn. This place is luxe."
Boyle: "Yeah, I've been trying to get Jake down there forever. Had I known all it'd take was a few broken bones, I would've hit him with a baseball bat years ago!"
Jake: "Mm-mm."
Boyle: "Sarge, it's a spa and a casino. A spasino!"
Jake: "One of the room service options is a carving station. ♪ Talkin' prime rib in bed! ♪ And what's this? I'm using a blanket as a napkin. That's fancy. That's fancy."
Boyle: "Real fancy."
Boyle: "Yeah, I've been trying to get Jake down there forever. Had I known all it'd take was a few broken bones, I would've hit him with a baseball bat years ago!"
Jake: "Mm-mm."
Boyle: "Sarge, it's a spa and a casino. A spasino!"
Jake: "One of the room service options is a carving station. ♪ Talkin' prime rib in bed! ♪ And what's this? I'm using a blanket as a napkin. That's fancy. That's fancy."
Boyle: "Real fancy."
by natalie portmanteaux August 3, 2023
Get the spasino mug.Nick: I thought you guys were at a cool high school party.
Val: We did make an appearance, grabbed some tit. That part was rad. But when you get to be our age, you'll see those parties, they're full of fakers, they're full of skanks.
Andrew: Would you two care to play some "Hooker Killer: Vatican City" with us?
Kurt: Game's for babies. You guys want to see some real sex?
Nick: We already saw your neighbors.
Val: We're talking about one of the greatest pornographic works in the history of skinema. It stars the Italian Stallion himself, Mr. Sylvester Stallone.
Maury: Oh, that's my buddy Frank's brother.
Val: Did it before he was famous.
Kurt: Just a struggling actor with a thick, meaty cock.
Val: We did make an appearance, grabbed some tit. That part was rad. But when you get to be our age, you'll see those parties, they're full of fakers, they're full of skanks.
Andrew: Would you two care to play some "Hooker Killer: Vatican City" with us?
Kurt: Game's for babies. You guys want to see some real sex?
Nick: We already saw your neighbors.
Val: We're talking about one of the greatest pornographic works in the history of skinema. It stars the Italian Stallion himself, Mr. Sylvester Stallone.
Maury: Oh, that's my buddy Frank's brother.
Val: Did it before he was famous.
Kurt: Just a struggling actor with a thick, meaty cock.
by natalie portmanteaux July 3, 2023
Get the skinema mug.