baker's dozen

The exhausting phenomenon of having thirteen loose bowel evacuations in one 24 hour period. Especially while on holiday in Mexico or in Majorca on your 30th birthday with seven of your mates.
'I really thought Paul was going to make a baker's dozen but he bust and had his 14th at five to midnight. That's 20 euros wasted then.'
by mockschmock December 07, 2006
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threw a seven

Came to an untimely end. Booked a last minute ticket across the River Styx. Jumped the queue at the pearly gates.
Snodgrass was only 37 when, on the golf course, he threw a seven. It nearly put me off my putt.
by mockschmock December 12, 2006
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syft

Pronounced "SIFT". Acronym for Shut Your Fucking Trap.
Monica - "Hey Chandler, have you picked up your dirty underpants off the kitchen floor yet, you rancid fart?"
Chandler - "Syft, Whore."

Excerpt from "The One Where Chandler And Monica Have A Row But Make Up By The End"
by mockschmock December 13, 2006
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jehovah's twitness

a door darkener who wants to spread the dubious good news about Jehovah, but doesn't have enough mental processing power to sustain an argument about it.
I just had a jehovah's twitness at the door - he was thick as pig shit and twice as smelly so I slammed the door on him.
by mockschmock December 12, 2006
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Bought The Farm

Passed away. Expired. Vacated this worldly plain. Snuffed it.
Also Throw a seven
Mrs Tiggywinkle? It's PC Bobs, here. I'm afraid I have some upsetting news. Your husband was crossing the M4 and, well I'm afraid he bought the farm. Squashed flatter than a witch's tit. He was.
We scraped Him up as best we could. He's in this bucket. I shouldn't look if I were you.
by mockschmock December 12, 2006
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galloping gut rot

Violent, unpredictable and rather unpleasant bout of "Delhi Belly".
Sudden, malodorous and disconcerting onset of liquifaction of one's latest meal.
"We'd best leave now, sir, you have a bad case of galloping gut rot."
"I know, but let me just sign this treaty, first."
(PM Tony Blair to President Bush, Circa 2004)
by mockschmock December 07, 2006
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