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mockschmock's definitions

syft

Pronounced "SIFT". Acronym for Shut Your Fucking Trap.
Monica - "Hey Chandler, have you picked up your dirty underpants off the kitchen floor yet, you rancid fart?"
Chandler - "Syft, Whore."

Excerpt from "The One Where Chandler And Monica Have A Row But Make Up By The End"
by mockschmock December 16, 2006
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threw a seven

Came to an untimely end. Booked a last minute ticket across the River Styx. Jumped the queue at the pearly gates.
Snodgrass was only 37 when, on the golf course, he threw a seven. It nearly put me off my putt.
by mockschmock December 15, 2006
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i could eat a nun's arse through a convent gate

Indication of being very hungry indeed.
'I'm so hungry, I could eat a nun's arse through a convent gate.'
by mockschmock December 9, 2006
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fuck my hat, I didn't know that

Rhyming expression for use when you really didn't know something, and were maybe even the last person on earth to find out. Goes to show you really do learn something new every day.
'You mean you can't get pregnant by sharing a facecloth? Fuck my hat, I didn't know that!'
by mockschmock December 9, 2006
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galloping gut rot

Violent, unpredictable and rather unpleasant bout of "Delhi Belly".
Sudden, malodorous and disconcerting onset of liquifaction of one's latest meal.
"We'd best leave now, sir, you have a bad case of galloping gut rot."
"I know, but let me just sign this treaty, first."
(PM Tony Blair to President Bush, Circa 2004)
by mockschmock December 9, 2006
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jehovah's twitness

a door darkener who wants to spread the dubious good news about Jehovah, but doesn't have enough mental processing power to sustain an argument about it.
I just had a jehovah's twitness at the door - he was thick as pig shit and twice as smelly so I slammed the door on him.
by mockschmock December 15, 2006
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