mockschmock's definitions

threw a seven

Came to an untimely end. Booked a last minute ticket across the River Styx. Jumped the queue at the pearly gates.

Snodgrass was only 37 when, on the golf course, he threw a seven. It nearly put me off my putt.

by mockschmock December 15, 2006

syft

Pronounced "SIFT". Acronym for Shut Your Fucking Trap.

Monica - "Hey Chandler, have you picked up your dirty underpants off the kitchen floor yet, you rancid fart?"
Chandler - "Syft, Whore."

Excerpt from "The One Where Chandler And Monica Have A Row But Make Up By The End"

by mockschmock December 16, 2006

fuck my hat, I didn't know that

Rhyming expression for use when you really didn't know something, and were maybe even the last person on earth to find out. Goes to show you really do learn something new every day.

'You mean you can't get pregnant by sharing a facecloth? Fuck my hat, I didn't know that!'

by mockschmock December 9, 2006

galloping gut rot

Violent, unpredictable and rather unpleasant bout of "Delhi Belly".
Sudden, malodorous and disconcerting onset of liquifaction of one's latest meal.

"We'd best leave now, sir, you have a bad case of galloping gut rot."
"I know, but let me just sign this treaty, first."
(PM Tony Blair to President Bush, Circa 2004)

by mockschmock December 9, 2006

Fuck me with a ragman's trumpet

Expression of surprise, quite long but effective at getting all the surprisedness out in one breath. For 'ragman' think Steptoe/Sanford & Son. Aha.

'Well fuck me with a ragman's trumpet. There IS a Santa.'

by mockschmock December 9, 2006

buggering arseholes

Expletive to be used when a simple "Shit!" just won't cut the mustard.

Oh buggering arseholes, I've sent the porn subscription to Aunt Mabel and the get well soon card to Paul Raymond Publishing.

by mockschmock December 14, 2006

slack fanny

In Devon (West of England), an idle, slow and incompetent person who is no use to man nor beast. Just like a slack fanny (whether British or American), someone who does a poor job of whatever they are meant to be doing.

'That Pete's such a slack fanny. Three bloody years I've been waiting for him to look at my roof.'

by mockschmock December 9, 2006