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michael foolsley's definitions

mind went blank

primary mental focus on temporary 'holiday'. one has to switch to secondary focus mode until primary focus mode returns. (similar to 'mental neutral')
i was going to do something, but my stupid mind went blank
by michael foolsley November 22, 2009
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try to shit

trying to 'jump start' or 'awaken' a 'sleeping' gastrointestinal system. -this is usually more trouble than it is worth!, the 'system' usually responds with a 'sleeping drunk', FUCK YOU!!

one might as well load up the 'system' with dynamite (laxative/s) or, just GIVE THE FUCK UP! and wait until its' "flop-cutting time"!!
think i'll try to shit, i KNOW i'm full o' poison!

one has to work hard!, to try to shit!

one doesn't try to shit, one HAS a shit!
by michael foolsley October 31, 2011
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speed bump times

hitting walls or barriers at every turn. -mere survival has become an incredible struggle. someone constantly in your way/face 'raining on your parade' -and they're STILL trying to take my 'gage' away!! -wish i was half as smart as all yo' all mo'-fucks!!
trying to get a job, they want me to pee in a cup! these are sure speed bump times!!

all the processing involved in these speed bump times is eating my ass up!!

first they took away my 'pie', (sex) then my 'eye' (sleep) now my fucking MONEY!! ...speed bump times!!!
by michael foolsley January 14, 2010
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stop hurting

used by children. if one child is beating on another, third child yells out: stop hurting her!! -works real well by adults if said in high childlike voice with persons' name or her/him at the end. -usually defuses adult 'stink-on another' situation with laughter!!
stop hurting maurice!

stop hurting jane

stop hurting she
by michael foolsley December 10, 2009
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Beer-as-'Jesus' Theorem

(advert-manipulation); commonly found in modern advertising alluding to male worship of beer even superseding a "piece of pie" (vaginal orifice) OR, replacing the deity!

the concept of the ultimate form of worship being a beer and the "big game", as opposed to jettisoning of male DNA in the vaginal canal, i.e. -SUPREME POTENTATE!!

COME ON FOLKS!, BEER NOT THAT! GOOD!!

(NEVER MIND!! LETS' ALL GET 'SLOPPY' AND 'STUPID'!!)
how 'BOUT 'dose YANKEE fans??
big bull went to HELL!! for DARING to 'stink' on alcohol, via his Beer-as-'Jesus' Theorem!!

the 'girls' felt powerless, when confronting the Beer-as-'Jesus' Theorem!!

Beer-as-'Jesus' theorem unaccepted! in MY 'house of worship'!
by michael foolsley September 5, 2011
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tuna tender

a reference to cunnilingus! (hetero OR homo!) could even extend to "gardening" or shaving of the female 'prime part'. (OR: tuna tendING) -ME for THAT!
jane and lauren were tuna tenders, but remained sympathetic to the personal hell of the male!

as much as john LOVED 'ramming'/plunging to 'oblivion', he had become somewhat of a tuna tender aficionado, making him WAY more desirable to females, than your typical everyday "bargain basement" 'piledriver'!!

tuna tending was something he CRAVED and looked forward to!!, it became something that superseded even his own pleasure!
by michael foolsley May 8, 2014
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tat limbo

the terrible state of choosing between paying bills etc, or getting tattoos...ie: no money to complete or add to tattoo/s, fucking broke!
got me a great idea for a tattoo, but i'm busted; i'm in tat limbo!
by michael foolsley November 22, 2009
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