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michael foolsley's definitions

stiffs

those with extremely little imagination that label the more imaginative as "retarded" (ie: mentally "challenged" **('politically correct!')

we knew them as the "straight people" when i was a young, budding "hop head"(1969) they were the folks who were scared "shitless" of smoking that old bad "BOO" (marijuana)

if you DARED to be an imaginative, or 'artful' kind of thinker, the stiff's were QUICK to let you know you were "not of my kind" and didn't belong !! often, they were rabid religion embracers! (TRUE god = MONEY!!) nowadays, i like to think of THEM as the "slows" !
jane "cut" a HUGE belch! , and the stiffs looked at her like she was from MARS ! , we all split our sides laughing !!

it was always fun to annoy the stiffs wherever we were ! , SO easy! , and such a big YUK !!

we put a cigarette load in one of the stiffs sticks! , WHAT a laugh riot THAT was !
by michael foolsley January 5, 2022
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cigarette load

a small explosive designed for cigarette insertion (hemostat or tweezer helpful!)

-about 1/4 the thickness of a wooden matchstick, and perhaps 1/4" long. -i haven't seen them in years...they were sold in "novelty shops"! (maybe ebay??)

these things are an absolute 'laugh riot'!!!

you grab a smokers' cigs when they hit the 'bowl' etc, then put one of these about 1/4" into the cigarette. several minutes later, you hear 'POW'!! and the smoker is left with a filter in their mouth looking dumber than hell, with cig particulates all a-sunder!! -ITS' FUNNIER THAN CRAP!!

i once saw one go off in a "titty bar", the whole place exploded in laughter, -man, it was funny!!

i've seen moms get gotten, stuffy businessmen, etc! -it helps to be around! -if the smoker leaves, they'll tell a tale later about how the cig blew up when they were alone! -thats' no fun!!
we put a cigarette load in mike's cigarette, it went off when he was 'working' the jenkins babe! -man, was he pissed!!

cigarette loads are a 'grand' and beautiful thing!!
by michael foolsley January 27, 2011
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cocksman's lament

whole lot of labor and frustration for a teaspoon of funk!!
cleaning himself up, jack was doing the cocksman's lament
by michael foolsley December 2, 2009
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addictive personality shift syndrome

those who replace one addictive, excessive behavior with another
shannon quit cigarettes, but discovered food!, she used to look firecracker hot; but now has gained 100lbs!!

dan quit the 'hootch', 'gage', and drugs, but became a 'rabid dog' for JESUS!! due to addictive personality shift syndrome!

mike foolsley used to be an industrial 'foodie', now spends four~five hours daily in the gym!!
by michael foolsley May 24, 2011
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blooey

something catastrophically (or NOT!) FAILING! probably sourced from the ancient (1960's and earlier) CARTOONS !!

a person, place or thing going BAD !!

i love the sound of blooey ! another word that sounds like what it means, and also; DELIGHTFULLY

CRETINESQUE !!
seen john lately ? nope! , i heard he and lauren went blooey !!

i went to the cremators to 'bake' my dead dad after his heart went blooey!

sam bought a new ??? to replace the one he had that went blooey !
by michael foolsley November 8, 2021
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equine faced

horse faced, having a long face somewhat similar to that of a horse
dave's heads-over-heels for that sparkly blonde newscastress...yeah? shes' awfully equine faced!!

john didn't mind an equine faced 'babe' if there was a chance of him getting the 'poison' ground out of him.
by michael foolsley September 5, 2013
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drink my puke

another way of saying 'go fuck yourself' while indicating the individual might be 'making you sick' as well!!
lick my flabby ass after i shit bitch!! DRINK MY PUKE!!

you can DRINK MY PUKE!! you piece of shit!!
by michael foolsley December 30, 2009
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