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michael foolsley's definitions

skin phobia

those deathly afraid of ever baring their 'treasures', who worship at the altar of the fabric covered
alison had the skin phobia, she'd never bare her 'treasures'

the church had poisoned her mind, she would never bare her 'treasures'
by michael foolsley December 15, 2009
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'poison'

spermatozoa, male ejaculate -that which would drive the male ABSOLUTELY INSANE!, -a strong persuader, -the 'load' women have little sympathy/empathy for...
the 'poison' was putting john on 'edge'

the 'poison' and the swelling was driving john about half mad!

judy ground the 'poison' out of john, instantly relieving the swelling, and lessening the infection

tagisus instinctively knew grinding the 'poison' out of himself would prove therapeutic!
by michael foolsley December 31, 2009
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tock clock

imaginary meter for measuring buttock pertness -brother of the 'peter meter'
jill's butt was just about red-lining on the tock clock

judy thought his butt registered high on the tock clock!!
by michael foolsley December 3, 2009
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grey hair bomber

what al-qaeda will turn to...using old people (fat chance!) wearing a diaper with a 'load'! -the old people there don't seem to be too useful for this function! only the particularly rabid young zealous types!
hey joe! think we got a grey hair bomber over here! his diapers' packing a load!!!
by michael foolsley January 8, 2010
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cigarette load

a small explosive designed for cigarette insertion (hemostat or tweezer helpful!)

-about 1/4 the thickness of a wooden matchstick, and perhaps 1/4" long. -i haven't seen them in years...they were sold in "novelty shops"! (maybe ebay??)

these things are an absolute 'laugh riot'!!!

you grab a smokers' cigs when they hit the 'bowl' etc, then put one of these about 1/4" into the cigarette. several minutes later, you hear 'POW'!! and the smoker is left with a filter in their mouth looking dumber than hell, with cig particulates all a-sunder!! -ITS' FUNNIER THAN CRAP!!

i once saw one go off in a "titty bar", the whole place exploded in laughter, -man, it was funny!!

i've seen moms get gotten, stuffy businessmen, etc! -it helps to be around! -if the smoker leaves, they'll tell a tale later about how the cig blew up when they were alone! -thats' no fun!!
we put a cigarette load in mike's cigarette, it went off when he was 'working' the jenkins babe! -man, was he pissed!!

cigarette loads are a 'grand' and beautiful thing!!
by michael foolsley January 27, 2011
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cocksman's lament

whole lot of labor and frustration for a teaspoon of funk!!
cleaning himself up, jack was doing the cocksman's lament
by michael foolsley December 2, 2009
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porcelain vortex

i thought you were going to jane's? -naw, that went down the porcelain vortex!
ain't got no job, it got gotten by the porcelain vortex
by michael foolsley November 30, 2009
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