Skip to main content

michael foolsley's definitions

appropriately touched

prelude to wanted/desired sex! -on the TV news there exists a notion of "inappropriate touch", -this largely translates to: 'GET LOST YA FUCKIN' CREEP'!!

the 'dream' of being 'greenlit' for sex, remains a 'magical moment' for a human of any point of departure!!
in the pick-up bar, janine was appropriately touched! she COULDN'T WAIT to 'GET OFF'!!

being appropriately touched, he fantasized over some 'space travel'!!

she touched him appropriately, he "shot off" accordingly!!
by michael foolsley August 4, 2011
mugGet the appropriately touched mug.

cocksman's lament

whole lot of labor and frustration for a teaspoon of funk!!
cleaning himself up, jack was doing the cocksman's lament
by michael foolsley December 2, 2009
mugGet the cocksman's lament mug.

cigarette load

a small explosive designed for cigarette insertion (hemostat or tweezer helpful!)

-about 1/4 the thickness of a wooden matchstick, and perhaps 1/4" long. -i haven't seen them in years...they were sold in "novelty shops"! (maybe ebay??)

these things are an absolute 'laugh riot'!!!

you grab a smokers' cigs when they hit the 'bowl' etc, then put one of these about 1/4" into the cigarette. several minutes later, you hear 'POW'!! and the smoker is left with a filter in their mouth looking dumber than hell, with cig particulates all a-sunder!! -ITS' FUNNIER THAN CRAP!!

i once saw one go off in a "titty bar", the whole place exploded in laughter, -man, it was funny!!

i've seen moms get gotten, stuffy businessmen, etc! -it helps to be around! -if the smoker leaves, they'll tell a tale later about how the cig blew up when they were alone! -thats' no fun!!
we put a cigarette load in mike's cigarette, it went off when he was 'working' the jenkins babe! -man, was he pissed!!

cigarette loads are a 'grand' and beautiful thing!!
by michael foolsley January 27, 2011
mugGet the cigarette load mug.

addictive personality shift syndrome

those who replace one addictive, excessive behavior with another
shannon quit cigarettes, but discovered food!, she used to look firecracker hot; but now has gained 100lbs!!

dan quit the 'hootch', 'gage', and drugs, but became a 'rabid dog' for JESUS!! due to addictive personality shift syndrome!

mike foolsley used to be an industrial 'foodie', now spends four~five hours daily in the gym!!
by michael foolsley May 24, 2011
mugGet the addictive personality shift syndrome mug.

human chronological erosion

chronologically induced etching away of physical attributes, skills and mental capacities.
he once was a super-athlete, but now can't even lift the ball due to human chronological erosion

she once did twenty-five guys in one night, but now the fellows gag or are horrified, thanks to human chronological erosion!
by michael foolsley December 21, 2009
mugGet the human chronological erosion mug.

contract warp

deviation from a marriage 'contract'...upon getting 'married-up'; the wife (or husband!) refuses to "put-out". -the 'shut-down' partner then seeks 'solace' outside the marriage. -upon discovery of the 'sin', the offending party becomes 'the devil'

usually the offending party is the self-immolating male, most of the women of the human species actually seem to be able to 'make-it' without sex!!??. (rumor has it, SOME women actually LIKE sex!!??)

when not following through on the "for better or worse" pledge, the party not fulfilling their 'obligation/s'; pretty much deserve what they get!! -while 'putting out' is not a fidelity guarantee, it certainly does lend itself to same!!
he was pumping every 'pelt' in town, because of contract warp!

contract warp had her grinding the 'poison' out of some strange!

layla helped 'soothe' kate's hell-burn of contract warp!!
by michael foolsley November 13, 2011
mugGet the contract warp mug.

turbulence free cruise

problem free passage of time with other humans!; on an airplane, "on drugs", at a meeting, being married, etc! -this is an exceptionally rare and precious happenstance!! (usually one human or another invariably contributes some 'stink' to the situation.)
it was a turbulence free cruise, everyone was on a wave of 'self-enchantment'

even john enjoyed himself! it was a turbulence free cruise

as the airplane shook violently, all on board were having a turbulence free cruise!
by michael foolsley January 2, 2010
mugGet the turbulence free cruise mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email