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michael foolsley's definitions

set myself alight

i struck out in the pick-up bar, so i went home and set myself alight (for those of you in britain!)
by michael foolsley November 23, 2009
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got the goods

physical attributes of a human-

well built, well maintained human with parts that defy all reality. usually the most transitory of states
damn, that bitch has GOT THE GOODS!

i saw this guy at the gym who has GOT THE GOODS!

he HAS to be gay!
by michael foolsley November 20, 2009
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cage allergic

'offing' oneself rather than go to prison! (like the poor, dead, dc madam!!)

this concept is similar to the wolf chewing off its' paw, to beat a trap!
i'm cage allergic! i don't do cages!!

they caught him smoking a muggle, but he offed himself before they could 'cage him up'...he was cage allergic!
by michael foolsley February 23, 2010
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work my snot

pick ones' nose -this is an activity that is apparently as horrifying as defecating, peeing, or baring 'prime parts' in public!!

on the seinfeld show, jerry gets 'burned' by some 'babe' because of a 'pick' appearing nose scratch
i need to work my snot, but i definitely don't want to get caught!!

if she sees me working my snot, it'll be all over......

i watched her work her snot while driving!!
by michael foolsley March 6, 2010
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colt retirement

concept of 'taking oneself out' after about age 50+ -after the mind (& body) becomes 'enfeebled'.

(lots of valid evidence of aging "quality of life" may be found in any "nursing" facility)

in these days of people losing all their retirement money, even if you're still lucky enough to maintain your 'gear', how good can quality of life be when you're eating beans and gruel?

the women are a bit luckier too, most have little use for sex. the males, however aren't so lucky; we get to go to the bitter end, burning in hell for sex......-though it DOES taper off a bit!!

any gun manufacturer will work, ie: glock retirement, etc...
i'm planning a nice smith & wesson retirement!

he got worn out trying to smile, and opted for a colt retirement
by michael foolsley January 16, 2011
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prophet of doom

the one friend you have who can always be counted upon to apply some 'stink' to a situation, "rain on your parade" or otherwise foretell what is going to go wrong! -i.e.: a 'bummer', mr./ms. NEGATIVITY!!
john is the prophet of doom, he was constantly worried about the police during the 'rave-up'!

during the "drug deal", ace impulsively served as the prophet of doom!

THE END OF THE WORLD IS COMING! said the sign of the 'born-again' ex king 'coholer (drunk) -yeah! hes' the prophet of doom!
by michael foolsley February 8, 2012
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put the hammer

apply heavy, weighted vigorous force, such as the sex act (but not always specific to same) getting a "heavy" task done with VIGOR!
he put the hammer to her , soon ; they were satisfied!
she put the hammer to him!
they put the hammer to jim's moving day, soon wrapping things up!
they "churned and burned," and put the hammer to each other !
by michael foolsley January 29, 2021
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