michael foolsley's definitions

defecation wand

rigid stick or prod used to minimize a "lincoln log" so it will more easily depart in a toilet

shit! this lumps' more than a mouthful for baby!, i'm gonna need my defecation wand!

by michael foolsley December 10, 2009

benefactress

female aware of, and willing to administer aid to the needs of a creature in 'pain'

that tall blonde party doll will hopefully be my benefactress

megan ended up way more than just my benefactress!!

by michael foolsley June 1, 2011

trails

hallucinogenics -a visual 'trail' of a moving object commonly experienced with LSD. trails and body 'rushes' are some of the more interesting asides of the experience/s!!

i see the international space station, but i'm seeing trails from it!! -damn, bro! GOOD SHIT!

he moved his arm and i saw trails...

couldn't play guitar till i stopped 'peaking', i was still seeing trails!

by michael foolsley February 12, 2010

measurable lot

something greater than or less than -a quantity having more or less than a zero capacity

that lauren certainly has got a measurable lot!!

hey bill, whats' hap nun? -not a measurable lot!!

by michael foolsley February 1, 2010

DNA @ the door

need for sex, horny, overwhelming need for sexual satisfaction, and assorted ways of dealing with same

DNA @ the door was driving (name) about out of their mind

judy awoke with DNA @ the door

what will YOU do, with DNA @ the door??

by michael foolsley December 7, 2010

belch speak

forming words with ones' mouth while belching...only the true belch 'masters' can get more than about a phrase before the gas expires.

belch speaking 'excuse me' is always a 'hit'...-this totally derails prudes, mothers, women and other assorted belch-haters! (belching SO low-class!)

-this is an activity that never fails to delight/entertain!! -perfect for knocking many humans off their 'pedestal'

i told her i loved her in belch speak

i apologized to the principal in belch speak

belch speak is an art form limited only by the imagination!!

by michael foolsley January 18, 2011

cigarette load

a small explosive designed for cigarette insertion (hemostat or tweezer helpful!)

-about 1/4 the thickness of a wooden matchstick, and perhaps 1/4" long. -i haven't seen them in years...they were sold in "novelty shops"! (maybe ebay??)

these things are an absolute 'laugh riot'!!!

you grab a smokers' cigs when they hit the 'bowl' etc, then put one of these about 1/4" into the cigarette. several minutes later, you hear 'POW'!! and the smoker is left with a filter in their mouth looking dumber than hell, with cig particulates all a-sunder!! -ITS' FUNNIER THAN CRAP!!

i once saw one go off in a "titty bar", the whole place exploded in laughter, -man, it was funny!!

i've seen moms get gotten, stuffy businessmen, etc! -it helps to be around! -if the smoker leaves, they'll tell a tale later about how the cig blew up when they were alone! -thats' no fun!!

we put a cigarette load in mike's cigarette, it went off when he was 'working' the jenkins babe! -man, was he pissed!!

cigarette loads are a 'grand' and beautiful thing!!

by michael foolsley January 27, 2011