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michael foolsley's definitions

cigarette load

a small explosive designed for cigarette insertion (hemostat or tweezer helpful!)

-about 1/4 the thickness of a wooden matchstick, and perhaps 1/4" long. -i haven't seen them in years...they were sold in "novelty shops"! (maybe ebay??)

these things are an absolute 'laugh riot'!!!

you grab a smokers' cigs when they hit the 'bowl' etc, then put one of these about 1/4" into the cigarette. several minutes later, you hear 'POW'!! and the smoker is left with a filter in their mouth looking dumber than hell, with cig particulates all a-sunder!! -ITS' FUNNIER THAN CRAP!!

i once saw one go off in a "titty bar", the whole place exploded in laughter, -man, it was funny!!

i've seen moms get gotten, stuffy businessmen, etc! -it helps to be around! -if the smoker leaves, they'll tell a tale later about how the cig blew up when they were alone! -thats' no fun!!
we put a cigarette load in mike's cigarette, it went off when he was 'working' the jenkins babe! -man, was he pissed!!

cigarette loads are a 'grand' and beautiful thing!!
by michael foolsley January 27, 2011
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cocksman's lament

whole lot of labor and frustration for a teaspoon of funk!!
cleaning himself up, jack was doing the cocksman's lament
by michael foolsley December 2, 2009
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wheelbarrow tits

what those who link up with large-chested females end up with! -after gravity does its' magic, these women won't need "braws"; they'll need wheelbarrows!! -VIVA SMALL CHESTED WOMEN!!
ah seed this babe at the nude beach with wheelbarrow tits!!

she had a nice body, but had the wheelbarrow tits!
by michael foolsley December 31, 2009
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where do you get money ?

the more truthful version of the idiotic: "what do YOU do ??" which is simply a nosy way to find out someone's money source! if the source isn't 'approved' , one can wave goodbye to their (would-be) 'slice' !
that bitch asked: where do you get money ? i was, DAMN! , if i tell the truth i won't have a CHANCE of "cracking that crotch" !

if you sound half intelligent, "they" want to know: what do you do ? sometimes, i like to speak cretinese, which shuts the where do you get money ? types right down "
by michael foolsley May 7, 2022
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heavy walker

ga-lump, heavy stride of a fat person
she was ga-lumping down the street, she was a heavy walker

he was over 400lbs, he was a heavy walker
by michael foolsley December 22, 2009
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grocery store ghost

someone near you in a grocery store, all a-jabber on a cell phone, you think someones' actually speaking to you!! -huh? whut? GO FUCK YOURSELF!!
i heard voices while shopping, but it was a grocery store ghost
by michael foolsley December 8, 2009
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skin fever

malady experienced during winter, up until spring; when bodies are "bundled up" in fabric/s.
saw my first halter top today, so nice to lose the skin fever!

jeb's skin fever quickly melted away, upon arrival at the nude beach!!

she was baring "prime parts" and celebrating departure of the skin fever!!
by michael foolsley May 20, 2011
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