mattyboyee's definitions

barking spider

See chocolate starfish: Term used to describe the shit eye, brown eye, bunghole, ass hole, etc. Resembles a spider when the tissue is crinkled as seen on a woman and barks when she farts.

Her pussy tasted like shit, so he stuffed his tongue in her barking spider.

by Mattyboyee May 28, 2003

brewers droop

State of male flacidity or temporary impotence due to the mass consumption of alcohol.

I had her in bed and we were about to get our freak on, but I had brewers droop and had to fashion a strapon with a cucumber and duct tape.

by Mattyboyee May 28, 2003

Orificetra

A flatulently melodic group of people creating music with their orifices. The most impressive pieces of music are created by the corn eye by drinking brews and having eggs for breakfast. Nothing is more potent than beer farts combined with the forces of egg farts. Use of a clothespin or gas mask may be necessary when enduring a live performance of an orificetra.

All us back in Geek Squad had mad swamp ass from that air conditioner being broken and gas from drinkin beer the night before, we were all tooting from our fart boxes creating music as an Orificetra. We played the brown note sonata which was finished by a solo from the Schocker in high notes from his well tuned corn flute.

by Mattyboyee January 8, 2008

BFP

Big Fat Pussy. A muff, vulva, baby chute, snatch, muffin, cooch, cunt of large and bulbous proportions especially when seen from the view of the "uprights" or performing cunnalingus. A mountainous muffin with large and juicy lips that shoots waterfall amounts of juice at you when stimulated properly.

I went down on this chick the other day with a massive BFP. It was almost scary! I felt like a surfer off the coast of Australia riding wave in a 100 year storm.

by Mattyboyee June 27, 2007

cunt bullet

The cotton drain plug used to block the red tides from washing up onto the cunnilingual shores of the clitoral and labial beaches. The little white bullet that goes into the barrel of the baby cannon. The licker's quicker picker upper. Stops the aquisition of redwings; a term coined for the plasma mustache begotten from chowing the putang of a girl on the rag. Riding the cotton pony.

Did you see that chick's g-string? Yeah that's not the only string I saw. She must be wearing a cunt bullet. Rip tide fellas!!

by Mattyboyee February 14, 2006

bowl clogger

A montrous defication of explosive bull ass proportions that binds the bowl up and prevents flushing. Not to be confused with a bowl cracker which is a dense and solid shit that fractures the porcelain.

I had to call roto-rooter again because I launched another bowl clogger.

by Mattyboyee May 28, 2003

Naughty

Slang term to describe a woman's innocence that is only skin deep. See naughty librarian. Naughty can be used to decribed a chick that is hot as fuck. Credit goes to C. Geer for this definition since he thinks I always steal his ideas.

Dayamn!! Did you see the tits & ass on that chick? NAUGHTY!!!! Julie looks like a naughty librarian when she wears her glasses; thus, she is fine as bizalls brizuther.

by Mattyboyee June 2, 2003