mattyboyee's definitions

BFP

Big Fat Pussy. A muff, vulva, baby chute, snatch, muffin, cooch, cunt of large and bulbous proportions especially when seen from the view of the "uprights" or performing cunnalingus. A mountainous muffin with large and juicy lips that shoots waterfall amounts of juice at you when stimulated properly.

I went down on this chick the other day with a massive BFP. It was almost scary! I felt like a surfer off the coast of Australia riding wave in a 100 year storm.

by Mattyboyee June 27, 2007

Naughty Librarian

Hot ass chick that wears glasses. Usually defined as a woman that bears a hint of innocence to her look, but is without a doubt hotter than "MAGMA"

Jules, the love of my life is a naughty librarian.

by Mattyboyee June 2, 2003

barking spider

See chocolate starfish: Term used to describe the shit eye, brown eye, bunghole, ass hole, etc. Resembles a spider when the tissue is crinkled as seen on a woman and barks when she farts.

Her pussy tasted like shit, so he stuffed his tongue in her barking spider.

by Mattyboyee May 28, 2003

lincoln logs

Term used to describe the act of shitting small loaflets or mini fecal logs that crisscross in the bowl to form a log cabin underwater like the lincoln log toy set we used to have as kids.

I shat licoln logs again, must be them damned pretzels.

by Mattyboyee May 28, 2003

Sinatra that Fuck

a.k.a. STF... Sinatra that fuck came from a Jerky Boys skit. Used to describe your unwillingness to listen to or the disappointment felt whilst hearing a Frank Sinatra song.

The wife and I ate at the Olive Garden last night. The food was good, but Jesus skydiving Christ the music sucks, they played Sinatra that fuck 4-5 songs in a row. Good food, shitty music!

by mattyboyee April 4, 2009

Orificetra

A flatulently melodic group of people creating music with their orifices. The most impressive pieces of music are created by the corn eye by drinking brews and having eggs for breakfast. Nothing is more potent than beer farts combined with the forces of egg farts. Use of a clothespin or gas mask may be necessary when enduring a live performance of an orificetra.

All us back in Geek Squad had mad swamp ass from that air conditioner being broken and gas from drinkin beer the night before, we were all tooting from our fart boxes creating music as an Orificetra. We played the brown note sonata which was finished by a solo from the Schocker in high notes from his well tuned corn flute.

by Mattyboyee January 8, 2008

Filter fucked

1. When one is so wasted that their filter (liver and kidneys) are in fact fucked. Persistent states of filter fucked can result in Keith Richards like bodily function or the lack thereof bearing the need for dialysis.

2. When you have embibed so much alcohol that you light the wrong end of your cigarette.

3. When the filter between your brain and your mouth fails to function.

1. I got so filter fucked last night I woke up yellow and my pee stunk like burnt coffee.

2. Filter fuck ME! Gimme another cigarette...

3. Sorry babe, didn't mean to say that Taylor Swift would be worth going to jail for, my filter's fucked.

by Mattyboyee June 29, 2008