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lexicali slim's definitions

orienteer

one who charts the physical whereabouts of asians or acts as a divinator of things asian.
i'm looking for a thai restaurant. is there an orienteer in the house?
by lexicali slim September 15, 2009
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Subhuman Resources

That which passes for Human Resources, the corporate repository for people too feckless, indolent and dull-witted to survive by eating out of dumpsters. Circumventing the certain risk to production, process or profit these fools represent, Subhuman Resources serves the double purpose of barring such incompetents from mucking up the works by turning them loose to harry the employees who actually do contribute to company success.

Famously sexless, humorless and brainless, this office also serves to repel rodents if, ironically, by employing them.
When April was caught stealing employee lunch boxes they promoted her to Subhuman Resources
by lexicali slim September 8, 2010
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estrogenocracy

noun, pl- cies
a system of governance of, for and by women, notably of the objectionable type who thrive on such a system, common to the offices of insurance companies, law offices, healthcare providers and (insert violent, uncontrollable wretching) the bureau of motor vehicles. intolerant to creative solutions, marked by a rigid inflexibilty, antithetical to growth or change, these systems are entrenched by way of a dogmatic adherence to the principle of inertia. like a bad marriage, an estrogenocracy thrives on discord, negativity, vindictiveness and a collective will to affect every aspect of the ostensible mission with the literal and figurative spray of urine. once in effect an estrogenocracy is nigh impossible to dislodge and certain to remain an impediment to a cheerful, productive and pleasant workplace.
oy gevalt, i must renew my driver's license. better is should stick a fork in my eye than venture into that reeking estrogenocracy of the bmv.
by lexicali slim September 26, 2009
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lotus elise

less handsome, more expensive toyota for stewardesses or grown men who watch "speed racer" but have never driven a mazda miata
by lexicali slim September 21, 2009
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magnetic ribbon syndrome

the condition of torpor whereby the sufferer relies on the back of his/her car to convey to the world (or those behind them in traffic) their beliefs, hopes, prayers and opinions. extreme cases can damage a car's alternator and/or skew the magnetic polarity of the earth. origins can be traced to tony orlando though not necessarily dawn.
cruel world! so many causes, so few outlets for my ardor!
i must declare what i believe/hope/pray/opine by affixing yet another slogan to the rear of my car by means of yet another magnetic ribbon, this one in hope of finding a cure for the dread
magnetic ribbon syndrome.
by lexicali slim September 21, 2009
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phelds podge

1) a pox of greed and heedless aquisition marked by
2) earth chancre, an open sore on the planet's crust which often runs bone deep.
3) a condition of decrepitude wrought of abuse and abandonment
4) extreme stultification which, when left unchecked, afflicts its victims with eustace tilley syndrome marked by stove pipe hats and chronic monocle dependency with their noses in the air as if they had not a care.
ever since phelds podge took hold i can't read barron's without my monocle
by lexicali slim September 20, 2009
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pharmacoping skills

the means by which one handles the vicissitudes of life according to what and how many drugs are required to that end.
melvin has marvelous pharmacoping skills, his doctor is only to happy to oblige.
by lexicali slim September 8, 2010
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