lexicali slim's definitions

condoleezza

practical joke gone tragically wrong. fearing their daughter might one day occupy a position of high moment, strategic importance and international infamy, the reverend and mrs john and angelena rice gave to their only child a name of such improbable ugliness and unwieldly, supurfluous vowel usage as to cauterize any chance of success in public life. sadly, the world now knows their daughter condoleezza as the highest ranking bunifa extant, house negro (see; malcom x's definition), accomplice and willing tool of the criminal george bush regime.

mamma; gastroniquia, where my popeye chicken at?
bunifa; condoleezza done et it up with marss dick chainie

by lexicali slim September 26, 2009

kroc blocking

effectively denying access to mcdonald's fare

i couldn't get my mcthing on because a bus load of oldsters was cramming the counters and completely kroc blocking my stuff.

a geo prizm broke down in the drive thru lane and kroc blocked the hell out of us.

by lexicali slim September 15, 2009

double tubbing

the act of middle aged couples bathing al fresco in side by side tubs. a stunt intended to be erotic posed by people least likely to pull it off, never mind tear it off. an unlikely scenario proffered for your consideration by the manufacturer of an erectile dysfunction palliative.

hey, babe, i think i'm feeling froggy. lets throw all restraint to the winds and give ourselves completely to this moment of passion if we can find two tubs side by side somewhere in the open air. i'll give you a drubbing in some double tubbing.

by lexicali slim September 16, 2009

geo metrosexual

intrinsic definition of metrosexual, an idiomatic obfuscation of asexual or sexual in any manner about which one is confused or ashamed.

emotional dishonesty+cheap shoes=geo metrosexual

by lexicali slim September 21, 2009

vexilloillogical

practiced by overwrought, underinformed, self-described "patriots", vexilloillogical behavior is the sporting of flag motifs anywhere other than a flag. seemingly unaware of the vexillological proscription of this practice, an oppressively coarse and dull-witted group known as "most people" seem to revel in it. to celebrate what they mistake for their political, moral and economic superiority, the citizens of a country will debase their flag by applying its motif to shirts, ties, hats, beer cozies, underwear and sweatsuits.

honey, do these vexilloillogical stars and stripes spandex shorts make my but look fat?

damn right-don't bend over, you might manifest destiny right out of them. don't tread on me!

by lexicali slim September 20, 2009

truck the foops

the opinion which dare not speak its name despite centuries of fighting and dying in the cause of my right to speak it.

q:what happened to your windshield?
a:i'm guessing it's a comment on my "truck the foops" bumper sticker

by lexicali slim September 20, 2009

don't tread on me

famously defiant motto of colonel christopher gadsden, self-described illustrious soldier, statesman and slave owner of 18th century lore. in reference to the anyone whose identical motives conflicted with gadsden achieving his ends, specifically the british in the person of king george III, this bloated fraud invoked the venomous viper as a depiction of same. lately reprised by the great gullible mass of what's left of the working classes in impotent complaint of their own tragic, irredeemable peonage. in current terms "don't tread on me" translates to "retread" and might as well show the imprint of bandag.

leroy:dwayne, them insurgents hate us for our freedoms! this country was founded on judeo-christian values! i want my country back! sarah palin is a great american! dan brown is the antichrist! i've got so many magnetic ribbons on my car, i've destroyed my alternator! don't tread on me!

dwayne:rush limbaugh had a back problem which led his maid to falsify prescriptions which is why illegal immigrants should not have health insurance. leroy, you've got tire tread marks on your head!

by lexicali slim September 20, 2009