kofi's definitions

split beaver

much the same as a bearded clam: except perhaps more eager, and more neatly trimmed, i.e. furry rather than shaggy in its coat. A plain beaver but helplessly spreadeagled. An object of fear, revulsion or contempt for some, an object of desire, conquest or reverence for many: yes it's yet another name for her cunt!

She was 16 when she first discovered she was carrying a wild animal around with her. Before she knew where she was, a wily trapper had trussed up and made short work of her furry little companion. Nowadays she keeps her split beaver as contented, well-exercised and well-fed as she possibly can.

by kofi May 14, 2003

chocolate and vanilla

(Not to be confused with plain vanilla, though also derived from flavours of ice cream.) Sex between so-called "black" and "white" people. May also be used for a threesome or group sex where at least one of those participating has sex with "black" and "white" alike.

A: I hear Tracy got bored with the same old plain vanilla with Chris.
B: Yeah, chocolate and vanilla is much more her thing, when she can get it.
C: (listening in, confused) Yeah? That's funny .... I didn't think Tracy even LIKED ice cream!

by kofi June 30, 2003

dickhead

1. man who "thinks with his dick". Someone so obsessed with (getting) sex that he is a gullible idiot, or:
2. man who seems to have a stubborn, blunt and essentially mindless organ where a brain should be: an insensitive asshole, or a clumsy Frankenstein.

Any good time girl loves a dickhead for a fling. GTG (to DH): "Oh, you needn't buy that for ME!!! Thanks."

by kofi April 20, 2006

lambada

Thankfully short-lived joke form of samba, a commercial bastardisation aimed at satisfying overweight, sweaty businessmen who could do no more than limply shuffle their feet about in pursuit of fame, fitness, fashion and pussy.

Lambada was a Brazilian answer to karaoke.

by kofi May 18, 2003

DMs

(UK): aka Docs. (a pair of) Doc(tor) Marten's, a brand of robust, "sensible" boots that regularly seem to go in and out of fashion with teenagers and particularly students, male and female alike, who want to look down-to-earth.

Alice: Howdy poddner. Say, ah juss dunn gunn got me this hiyer payer of ginn-you-ine DMs! - howja likem?!
Sarah: Why the fake American accent? Cool shoes, by the way!
Alice: Why, aren't they American?

by kofi May 15, 2003

good time girl

old euphemism, still used for: 1. tart, slut; or 2. sex worker, callgirl, prostitute. A woman who is in search of cheap (if possible, cost- and pain-free) fun, particularly featuring easy and good sex, very interested in the financial generosity of dickheads (a due reward for her looks and personality and class). May either be (see definition 1 above) an "Essex girl" a "Tracy" in her leisure mode, or (def 2) a professional at work. Note: the term is still found used where speakers find it legally safer, more discreet or wittier to view this way of life as "just harmless good clean fun for all concerned"!

Good time girl in the street in Soho, London: "Looking for a good time, govn'r? Well, I cert'nly am!"

by kofi May 14, 2003

one-night stand

Sexual activity with another person intended for one night only. (Derives from showbiz, a "one-off show". But also of course from the suggestion of a one-off erection, though the term is used by women as well as men as a candid description of "getting your rocks off" when a bit of no-strings fucking etc. was desired.

“I've never had a one-night stand because I've always been afraid that in the cold light of day, she'll wake up and think; "Oh my God! What the hell am I doing in bed with a stupid cunt like this?!”

by kofi May 14, 2003