kofi's definitions

plain vanilla

(derived from ice cream's standard basic flavour): humorous term for the enjoyment of "straightforward" sexual intercourse, most obviously in the routine missionary position. If the phrase is used, the implication is normally that the enjoyment is somewhat limited, when perhaps other "flavours" might have been welcomed .... (Note: See also "chocolate and vanilla")

A: "So, how's the new girlfriend?"
B: "Oh, all right."
A: "What's the problem?"
B: "She's only interested in plain vanilla."
A: "Hell, man, give her time. You didn't expect a blowjob on the first date, did you?!"

by kofi June 30, 2003

nympho

1. see nymph definition 2
2. someone (usually of a woman) who bizarrely seems to want to have sex with others but to leave out the speaker

A: Did you hear, Tracy's desperately trying to get a bunckh of guys together together for a gangbang at her place this weekend.
B: What? I thought the bitch'd had three different boyfriends this week alone!
A: Yeah, exactly, but that's a nympho for ya!
B: ... So d'you think we could maybe wangle an invite out of her?

by kofi May 9, 2003

Essex girl

a "common" (or very common) girl, not very bright, both overdressed (in cheap jewellery and tacky fashion) and underdressed (displaying her assets), always materialistic (loves shopping), likes drinking heavily (alcopops will do), and fucks indiscriminately and like a bunny, preferably with guys with a bit of money and claahhhss, but after a few drinks ... well, has to ask her best mate "Who WAS that guy I was with last night, 'Chelle?"

Fred: I heard you scored last night.
Rob: Yeah, just an Essex girl though. What about you?
Fred: Just went home.
Rob: Oh yeah, I forgot Trish is an Essex girl too!

by kofi May 12, 2003

dickhead

1. man who "thinks with his dick". Someone so obsessed with (getting) sex that he is a gullible idiot, or:
2. man who seems to have a stubborn, blunt and essentially mindless organ where a brain should be: an insensitive asshole, or a clumsy Frankenstein.

Any good time girl loves a dickhead for a fling. GTG (to DH): "Oh, you needn't buy that for ME!!! Thanks."

by kofi April 20, 2006

lambada

Thankfully short-lived joke form of samba, a commercial bastardisation aimed at satisfying overweight, sweaty businessmen who could do no more than limply shuffle their feet about in pursuit of fame, fitness, fashion and pussy.

Lambada was a Brazilian answer to karaoke.

by kofi May 18, 2003

DMs

(UK): aka Docs. (a pair of) Doc(tor) Marten's, a brand of robust, "sensible" boots that regularly seem to go in and out of fashion with teenagers and particularly students, male and female alike, who want to look down-to-earth.

Alice: Howdy poddner. Say, ah juss dunn gunn got me this hiyer payer of ginn-you-ine DMs! - howja likem?!
Sarah: Why the fake American accent? Cool shoes, by the way!
Alice: Why, aren't they American?

by kofi May 15, 2003

pull off

1) (sex): to wanka man so that he ejaculates (alternatives: jerk off, jack off)
2) (soccer): to substitute a player, i.e remove him from the game.
Warning: Be very careful not to confuse the two. (See example.)

The new teenage arrival at Man United was discussing terms with his agent, and was impressed. Agent: Look lad, you'll only earn about 30 grand the first year. Kid: 30 grand? brilliant! At Rochdale, I only got a couple of quid a week! Agent: And they'll be starting you off with just a basic Mercedes. Kid: Mercedes? Brilliant! At Rochdale, I had to get the bus! Agent: And you'll have to accept last pick of the groupies. Kid: Groupies? Brilliant! At Rochdale, I had to sleep with my sister! Agent: Oh, and for the first few games, Sir Alex may want to pull you off at half time. Kid: Pull me off? Fantastic! At Rochdale, we only got a slice of orange and a cup of tea! ......

by kofi May 14, 2003