jonzo the weasel's definitions

Avril Lavigne

A pop-punk singer. I personaly don't like her music, but as a fellow Canadian, I will say this much for her;
Her music, because of her voice, is unpleasant. But often closet posers and posers who are in denial will, without having heard a single bit of her songs but with the knowlege that she was on MTV, have a wonderful time blasting anyone who listens to her songs as a "sellout," "corporate," "shallow," etc. Judging someone purely on their musical likes is INCREDIBLY STUPID.

I think Avril Lavigne is almost unlistenable, but you have the right to listen to her if you want to. To all the kids out there who enjoy bashing and steryotyping her fans, you stupid motherfuckers are WAY shallower than anyone I would want to know.

by Jonzo the Weasel July 29, 2008

liberal

One who cares for America and wishes to preserve the ideals of this nation's founders, all progressive men in their day.

Ben Franklin owned a Cannabis farm and George Washington was known to toke up as well. Plus, they wrote the Bill of Rights. They were liberals. They would start a riot if they could see how their ideals are getting assraped by the current government

by Jonzo the Weasel May 18, 2006

fred phelps

The head of the Westboro Baptist Church. An incredibly hateful man who runs godhatesfags.com and godhatesamerica.com. According to this incredible asshole, the GI's getting killed in Iraq are God's punishment for not persecuting homosexuals. His cult has picketted their funerals with signs like "God Hates Fags," "America Is Doomed," "Thank God for Dead Troops," "God Blew Up the Troops," "Fag Soldiers in Hell," and "Thank God for IEDs." He's a horrible example of Christianity and has a big surprise coming for him from God when he dies. He is linked to thechristian identity movement, a white-supremacist organization posing as a church.

Here are the people in Hell, according to Fred Phelps.
Matt Sheppard
Reggie White
Ronald Reagan
Martin Luther King
Corretta Scott King
Mr Rogers
All US casualties of the Iraq War
The victims of the West Virginia coal mine disaster

It should be noted that Freddie had met several times with and praised the leadership of our best buddy Saddam Hussein.

by jonzo the weasel July 30, 2006

swift boat veterans for truth

A group of fucking liars who dragged John Kerry's name through the dirt on two false accusations:

1: "John Kerry never did anything heroic in Vietnam"
Acatually, John Kerry jumped off his swiftboat during a firefight to rescue a crew member who had falled overboard. And why don't you tell me about W's heroism while AWOL from the Texas Air National Guard?

2: "John Kerry betrayed his country"
Oh yeah? Let me tell you this. Out of concern for the troops being killed in Vietnam, John Kerry joined Vietnam Vets Against the War. John Kerry saw his country making a mistake and said so. That is patriotism. The "my country right or wrong" attitude is ignorance on par with medeival peasants.

Swift Boat Veterans for Truth sent out it's slanderous ads without the authorization of Bush? Bullshit.

by Jonzo the Weasel August 15, 2006

MTV

A tv chanel that everybody loves to hate for "being corporate." It should be noted that those people are in shitty ass bands that would sell their souls to get on MTV and get a recording contract from a label that people actually care about. Features some of the worlds hottest chicks if you exclude that skanky washup britney spears and christina aguilewhateverthefuck. Imortalized by the line "I Want My MTV."

Nerd- I hate mtv, die die die.
Me- Dumbass, you just are bitter because a)your shitty band sucks so hard recording execs are afraid to touch it and b)the gorgeous girls on it remind you how sad your fat pimply pale "girl"friend is and coz 50 cent reminds u that u are asexually shaped? And if you don't like pop or blink182-i don't either-change the chanel or turn off the tv. geez, what a fuckwad.

by Jonzo the Weasel April 4, 2006

celebricrat

A celebrtity who gets political. In some extreme cases (like the guy who is now governor of california) they will run for office and win. But if one just makes public political statements and/or supports a candidate, then that celebrity has become a celebricrat.
Naturaly, most celebricrats are on the political left (celiberals) because that is the less moralistic party, the strongest party in California, as opposed to the right-wing celebrities (constarvatives). The celiberals are often denounced by right-wing pundits as traitors. The constarvatives are usually just blown off by left-wingers as rich morons.

Here are some famous celebricrats
Celiberals:
Bruce Springsteen
Sean Penn
Jon Bon Jovi
Madonna
Billie Joe Armstrong
Kanye West
Whoopi Goldberg
Christopher Reeve
Scarlett Johanson
Sean John Combs
Chuck D
Ice Cube
The late Kurt Cobain
Barbara Streisand
Joey Ramone

And the Constarvatives:
Britney Spears
Johnny Ramone
Arnold Schwarzeneger
Jessie Ventura
Jessica Simpson
Kid Rock
Ronald Reagan
Lynn Swann
Ann Coulter

by jonzo the weasel July 28, 2006

Pretzel

A deadly threat to the nation. It was sent by unknown parties to assasinate George W. Bush. The attempt was nearly successful, but a bystander was cunning enough to employ the heimlich maneuvre, foiling the conspiracy. The said pretzel is now being held in maximum security in guantanamo bay as an enemy combatant.

It appears that agent pretzel has failed his mission.

by jonzo the weasel July 17, 2006