joecoolthefool's definitions

middle age speech

The annoying language used to reference speech from a past time such as 'my lady' and 'methinks'. Middle Ages, Middle Earth, English, language

I hate when I read the comment section after an article and some tool uses 'methinks' to express his viewpoint in a condescending way. That middle age speech drives me crazy.

by joecoolthefool August 20, 2016

psychological colonoscopy

A tedious event where a person or a group of people interrogate someone to find out everything there is to know about their life history and future aspirations. It is often performed by a group of women on the new boyfriend of a girlfriend or by parents on a potential daughter-in-law or son-in-law.

It was a rough night, man. I got a psychological colonoscopy from my boo's girlfriends when they found out I had been to prison. mentally stressed, psychologically evaluated, interrogated, questioned

by joecoolthefool December 4, 2014

autonomous erotica

A person who pleasures himself in a self-driving (autonomous) vehicle. You don't have to hold the steering wheel, so you have two free hands. autoerotica, masturbation, touching oneself, self-pleasure, handjob, auto, car, Google, Google car, Apple car, autonomous vehicle, self-driving, autojacking

I now know why all of these researchers want to go on all of these autonomous vehicle test drives alone. It's called autonomous erotica. Yikes!

by joecoolthefool April 20, 2016

gym nod

The silent communication between people working out at the gym. It usually occurs when making eye contact with someone and giving them a 'what's up' head bob without saying a word. gymnasium, gym, gym talk, working out, workout, exercise, lift weights, cardio, spinning, running, jogging, talk, speak

I see the same people at the gym every day and don't know their names. I just give them the old gym nod and keep working out.

by joecoolthefool July 6, 2017

snow mattress

The layer of snow on the roof of a car or truck. They are seen when someone drives around having failed to remove it from the top of their car/truck and can slide off and hit people or other vehicles. snow, snow storm, ice, blizzard, cars, trucks, road, highway, ice scraper, mattress

I got pummeled by a driver’s snow mattress while I was walking down the street yesterday.

by joecoolthefool January 14, 2019

Smartphone anxiety disorder

The panic and fear a person experiences when they misplace or become separated from their smartphone even for a few minutes. smartphone, iphone, handheld, fear, panic, anxiety, phobia, tech, obsession

I am convinced I suffer from smartphone anxiety disorder. I literally need my iphone to be within reach or I freak out.

by joecoolthefool October 3, 2016

dance seizure

The wild, chaotic movements a person makes when listening to music. They are rocking out hard and may look crazy, but they love the music and don’t care. dancing, partying, rocking out, slam dancing, air guitar, mosh pit, break dancing, edm, electronic dance music

John is having a dance seizure on the couch, he loves electronic dance music.

by joecoolthefool February 6, 2018