illinoishorrorman's definitions

Colorful Language

A polite way of saying someone drops all the fuck relatives and then some. Pastor's wife that happened to be a classsmate during the era of the original events of The Cabbie Homicide as The Chicago Tribune reported, responded to the colorful language laced retort like a vampire to holy water.

A christian blogger, "Thank you for your comment, unfortunately I need to edit one line because of the colorful language you used in the statement."
Me, "Shit do you realize that your own Old Testament has the line "Drink your own piss and eat your own dung?"
The Blogger: *Blush*
Me: "time to stop using the fucking pseudo-profanity and it's okay to say 'piss drinking bastard'"

by illinoishorrorman January 19, 2018

Genetic Attraction

When someone takes "go fuck your mother" as literal. Do a bing of this and you might think twice about your 'grosser than gross' jokes as I heard them in 6th grade, An Eye In Shadows implied the grosser than gross cracks to a darker degree as I had implied genetic attraction as an insult. See the thing about "German Siblings Having Four Kids" talk about V. C. Andrews output as creative nonfiction. Dailymail did a piece about a mother doing the nasty with her own son on tape; don't say I warned you if you look this up as I did a pinterest of the article with the hashtag #EEWWWW. In 2003 The Guardian did a piece on the bizarre phenomenon.

Reagan M. of therichest dot com did a list on this weird genetic attraction shit; talk about Flowers in the Attic being creative nonfiction there. V. C. Andrews would be rolling in her grave as these jokers where taking the rule34 implications between brother and sister literally, as I had implied insults at detractors, "you have better luck getting your own mother pregnant." This is under the hashtag on twitter known as puke worthy.

by illinoishorrorman June 2, 2018

flood geology

pseudoscience taken from the Genesis Flood Narrative aka the Deluge Allegory from Genesis 6-8 as the young earth creationist Henry M. Morris and John C. Whitcomb chronicled in the pseudohistory publication titled "The Genesis Flood: The Biblical Record and its Scientific Implications " which equally influenced the Piss Drinking Bastard and Fucking Cartoon. Science shows us that the earth is 4.5 billion years old, as this is something one sees within theistic evolutionists and old earth creation as Old Earth Ministries was founded by a geologist as a one man show that brings a meaning to academia from a faith perspective.

Both the Moron Magnet and Creation Science Evangelism both subscribe to what's known as a pseudoscience known as Flood Geology, it's trying to apply scientific method to the Great Flood narrative from Genesis as those who are theistic evolutionists will see this as allegory as they're looking up real science websites and applying the research into the Old Testament timeline -- the blog entry on A Publisher's Confessional via Tumblr.com that is noted for refuting Institute for Creation Research is called "The Science Gospel" as it bleeps K** H** as he calls Ken Ham's name vulgar language.

by illinoishorrorman February 13, 2018

The Statue

A 6000 word plus short story from 2004 where it was PG rated that invoked debate in The Twilight Zone and horror based fanfiction circles whether it was original or fanfiction, as FanHistory noted it was original with characters named Serling and set in Glendale Heights in 1987. It was noted from being done from a photograph taken in 2003 when returning from Nocturna as it was sneaked on Fanfiction.net as someone fuming over a detailed pick apart the author did, the critic had the three original pieces on the site taken down. Then it was brought over to AuthorsDen and FictionPress where they remain to this day. It was noted for being tested out on Rod Serling's widow in 2004.

If you're talking about that 2004 short story where the writer of The Cabbie Homicide introduced his hometown as a Gothic Horror setting, it was strongly inspired by The Twilight Zone where he didn't swear and had characters named based on his classmates from the era. He did a narration ala Rod Serling on his then blog as a joke and next thing he had a hook, then The Statue was born. It was noted by one of his future anthology mates and contributors of the magazine for having a scare akin to H. P. Lovecraft long after they read the story. Laura Hale of FanHistory Wiki chronicled the extremely funny debates the story invoked when it was first introduced. The ex-fiancee and critics try to call this a fanfiction work when Laura noted everything in the story was his outright.

by illinoishorrorman January 31, 2018

The Thing That One Finds

A science fiction story appearing on Apr 13, 2015 based on the exchanges with Uneducated Huckster and Fucking Cartoon. Their followers were using articles from the moron magnet and the Piss Drinking Bastard to refute the publisher of The Ethereal Gazette as Cradle of Filth's social network got a ringside seat at the controversy he invoked engaging the Uneducated Huskster. It made it's emergence on FictionPress.com with a low key word of mouth as it was trolled by factions in the industry using the author's respective screen names over the years. It's noted for using a thesis that picked apart "Dr." Kent Hovind's pseudo-academia as it revisits the first science fiction short story in passing as noted it also cited the Forbes article on "Dr." Kent Hovind.

The short story, The Thing That One Finds, is often mistaken for Real Person Fiction in a fanfiction sense when it's written in a vein similar to The Onion or The Babylon Bee but based on actual research from the findings he did about Hovind and the reverse research of his first science fiction outing also on FictionPress.com. It's based on his retorts of the Young Earth Creationists as they were pissed he revealed he's a Theistic Evolutionist as he was quiet about having an old earth view as a teenager.

by illinoishorrorman February 12, 2018

Fred Durst

See the Chicago Speedway lemon incident as metalheads in Chicago call him "Lemon Nuts" as he got nailed in the nuts with a lemon; it's a guess if a Chicago White Sox pitcher is in the audience and threw the lemon. Durst incited a ho yay laced tirade at Chicago radio icon Mancow Muller as MTV.com reported on the 2003 incident as they were on tour with Metallica. MTV Icon ignored all of Metallica's peers and the rest of thrash metal for that matter as they didn't do the Icon right with them. Chicago Sun-Times chronicled Durst slagging on the fans with the taunts "Fucking Pussies" and the crowd "Fuck Fred Durst" as he was pelted with garbage. They know what heavy metal is as they might have a Trouble album in their collection. The "your baseball teams suck" invoked the lemon to the nuts. It's the most high profile projectile nut shot. The website Metal Underground chronicled the lemon projectile incident as it's the joke that the Chicago metal community runs with; as Anthrax came in town and tore shit up in Chicago Heights. He employed some pretty explicit sexual put downs where The Cabbie Homicide writer is a bit funnier with the degrading insults as he applies some of the putdowns to Mary Sangiovanni as a heavy metal band from Chicago took the insult one step further with the crack, "Fuck her and her porn career."

Fred Durst pertaining to Mancow, "I will be fucking Mancow in the ass on your front lawn" as he storms off stage.

The heavy metal community in Chicago, "What a fucking pussy as we're wanting to attend a Limp Bizkit show with a shopping bag full of lemons so we can aim for his nuts backstage." Fred Durst is associated with the projectile nutshot everyone in the metal community won't let the collective butt of the joke live it down.

by illinoishorrorman January 17, 2018

Questionable Content

Lulu.com's thought police when someone does something controversial. Get on their bad side and it will be #RIPProfile and catalog. This was the fatal move that they did when they went after their junkyard dog. If you're talking the web comic of the same name never seen it. Questionable Content were similar to Facebook Jail before the term was coined

Something controversial is published, and they're not pleased. Questionable Content is pissed at you man, "Fuck it I am going after them with the painting of Obama burning the Constitution. The Ethereal Gazette: Issue Five roster is way too important to lose to their thought policing. World Forgiveness Day? That's a joke when they will see what the 4th of July is about."

by illinoishorrorman October 26, 2018