illinoishorrorman's definitions

The Thing That One Finds

A science fiction story appearing on Apr 13, 2015 based on the exchanges with Uneducated Huckster and Fucking Cartoon. Their followers were using articles from the moron magnet and the Piss Drinking Bastard to refute the publisher of The Ethereal Gazette as Cradle of Filth's social network got a ringside seat at the controversy he invoked engaging the Uneducated Huskster. It made it's emergence on FictionPress.com with a low key word of mouth as it was trolled by factions in the industry using the author's respective screen names over the years. It's noted for using a thesis that picked apart "Dr." Kent Hovind's pseudo-academia as it revisits the first science fiction short story in passing as noted it also cited the Forbes article on "Dr." Kent Hovind.

The short story, The Thing That One Finds, is often mistaken for Real Person Fiction in a fanfiction sense when it's written in a vein similar to The Onion or The Babylon Bee but based on actual research from the findings he did about Hovind and the reverse research of his first science fiction outing also on FictionPress.com. It's based on his retorts of the Young Earth Creationists as they were pissed he revealed he's a Theistic Evolutionist as he was quiet about having an old earth view as a teenager.

by illinoishorrorman February 12, 2018

The Statue

A 6000 word plus short story from 2004 where it was PG rated that invoked debate in The Twilight Zone and horror based fanfiction circles whether it was original or fanfiction, as FanHistory noted it was original with characters named Serling and set in Glendale Heights in 1987. It was noted from being done from a photograph taken in 2003 when returning from Nocturna as it was sneaked on Fanfiction.net as someone fuming over a detailed pick apart the author did, the critic had the three original pieces on the site taken down. Then it was brought over to AuthorsDen and FictionPress where they remain to this day. It was noted for being tested out on Rod Serling's widow in 2004.

If you're talking about that 2004 short story where the writer of The Cabbie Homicide introduced his hometown as a Gothic Horror setting, it was strongly inspired by The Twilight Zone where he didn't swear and had characters named based on his classmates from the era. He did a narration ala Rod Serling on his then blog as a joke and next thing he had a hook, then The Statue was born. It was noted by one of his future anthology mates and contributors of the magazine for having a scare akin to H. P. Lovecraft long after they read the story. Laura Hale of FanHistory Wiki chronicled the extremely funny debates the story invoked when it was first introduced. The ex-fiancee and critics try to call this a fanfiction work when Laura noted everything in the story was his outright.

by illinoishorrorman January 31, 2018

Genetic Attraction

When someone takes "go fuck your mother" as literal. Do a bing of this and you might think twice about your 'grosser than gross' jokes as I heard them in 6th grade, An Eye In Shadows implied the grosser than gross cracks to a darker degree as I had implied genetic attraction as an insult. See the thing about "German Siblings Having Four Kids" talk about V. C. Andrews output as creative nonfiction. Dailymail did a piece about a mother doing the nasty with her own son on tape; don't say I warned you if you look this up as I did a pinterest of the article with the hashtag #EEWWWW. In 2003 The Guardian did a piece on the bizarre phenomenon.

Reagan M. of therichest dot com did a list on this weird genetic attraction shit; talk about Flowers in the Attic being creative nonfiction there. V. C. Andrews would be rolling in her grave as these jokers where taking the rule34 implications between brother and sister literally, as I had implied insults at detractors, "you have better luck getting your own mother pregnant." This is under the hashtag on twitter known as puke worthy.

by illinoishorrorman June 2, 2018

Drug Charge

In Iowa -- this is prison slang for Child molestation as that's what police often use as code for a chomo. Another term for a nonce or diaper-sniper, diddler, Sandusky. Duggar, or Fogle.

Victor Salva in Iowa if he was convicted after filming Clownhouse would be dragged from a sandbox hence the term "Drug Charge."

by illinoishorrorman February 17, 2018

Colorful Language

A polite way of saying someone drops all the fuck relatives and then some. Pastor's wife that happened to be a classsmate during the era of the original events of The Cabbie Homicide as The Chicago Tribune reported, responded to the colorful language laced retort like a vampire to holy water.

A christian blogger, "Thank you for your comment, unfortunately I need to edit one line because of the colorful language you used in the statement."
Me, "Shit do you realize that your own Old Testament has the line "Drink your own piss and eat your own dung?"
The Blogger: *Blush*
Me: "time to stop using the fucking pseudo-profanity and it's okay to say 'piss drinking bastard'"

by illinoishorrorman January 19, 2018

Burned Pizza

Insulting slur to Italians from the Abruzzo region especially Italian-Americans as it's up there with guinea equal to the n-word to African Americans. The two words that would see frocio thrown at you. or the horns tossed at you because the wife fucks you behind your back.

Author Adam Sneffet called a rival author a burned pizza when he spoke out; this author responded like an African-American when a White Privilege used the n-bomb in other words, don't do it.

by illinoishorrorman September 22, 2016

The New Republic

The Narrative Journalism Magazine that was the start of the fabulist spree of Stephen Glass as he fabricated his sources in the mid-to-late 1990's. I studied the debacle to go double homicide with the taunting in the Shadow Dolls Plagiarism affair. My then room mate who was known for writing for Outburn and Chain D.L.K. rented the film based on the Buzz penned article from Vanity Fair. I had managed to pinterest the article and my facebook page exclusive as I caught a low-fi act from Boston trying to liken me to Stephen Glass as I called one of them a chomo as he was trying to say I was pretending to be a toughie as I pulled out a track of his album and a track from a compilation that I picked up on Bandcamp. I freight-trained the little fuck over his speaking ill of the Derleth family in front of me. He was the one who invoked a twitter war with me when I was active on the Cradle of Filth social network at the time. I have the blog tag "Plagiarism Scandals" as I was preparing to nail the SomethingAwful goon plagiarist for stealing my output along with Kealan's fanbase getting caught. In a PDF I wrote tweeting to VampireFreaks I pulled a demolition man move saying I am willing to reinstate Jayson Blair for one sole purpose -- go after the SomethingAwful plagiarist.

Reading about the Stephen Glass fabulist scandal on The New Republic as I saw the film in 2006 then ended up finding these fabrications floating around first hand. It helped me lay into the serial plagiarist David Boyer in what's now known as Shadow Dolls Plagiarism Affair. Boyer's plagiarism spree was longer than both Glass or Blair. Some in journalism circles saw The Cabbie Homicide as a frightening display of investigative journalism when it was written entirely from memory. In the era of the original events from 1993-1994, Chicago Tribune reported on the same subject for a good part of a year, from the murder to the turn of the subjects on each other then to the throwing the book at them.

by illinoishorrorman January 19, 2018