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hteb78's definitions

Jelly Ladder

To describe a useless object or person
About as useful as a Jelly ladder........
by hteb78 November 27, 2012
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A one legged man in an arse kicking contest.

To describe a useless object or person.
About as useful as a one legged man in an arse kicking contest...
by hteb78 November 27, 2012
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A Pouderd Prune

An old lady trying to look younger by applying alot of makeup to her ageing skin, looks like someone has put face powder on a prune.
When ninety year old Betty dolled herself up for the over sixtys club, she used so much foundation on her face she looked like a pouderd prune.
by hteb78 July 8, 2023
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Your best bib and tucker

1) John: "Hey Bill, What's the dress code for the works dinner dance?"

Bill: " Your best bib and tucker mate".

2) " Tommy had is first job interview today, he looked so Handsom all dressed in his best bib and tucker".
by hteb78 August 18, 2017
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A spare dick in a fucking contest

To describe a someone who gives little or no contribution to a task.
"Jenny didn't help at all, she just stood around like a spare dick in a fucking contest"
by hteb78 April 29, 2013
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something for the weekend, Sir?

a term once used by barbers to politely ask a customer if they would like to buy a packet of condoms.
Years ago it was illegal for shops to trade on a Sunday and most shops only opened for a few hours on a Sat morning also most local chemists only opened Mon - Fri. Men would often visit the barbers on a Friday evening to tidy them selves up for a date or evening in with the wife etc. the barber would usually offer the condoms as an add on sale at the end, by saying either "Would Sir like anything for the weekend?" or "something for the weekend, Sir?"
by hteb78 September 13, 2013
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Flumpette

A woman usually in her late forties who has totally let her self go and doesn't care.

They are usually very overwait, very ugly, wear scruffy frumpy clothing and have very poor hygiene standards.

They generally live alone usually on a run down council estate, most are to lazy to work so they live off benefits, which is spent on beer, cigarettes and unhealthy takeaways.
Woman 1: "OMG, you'll never guess who I bumped into at the chippy."

Woman 2: "Who?"

Woman 1: "That Sally that used to go to the over forties club, I havnt seen her for years, I hardly recognised her, she's really let herself go, she's put on loads weight and her hair hadn't been washed for weeks she looks like a right Flumpette these days."

Woman 2: Oh I remember her, She's known down the estate as "Stinky Sally"
by hteb78 August 9, 2023
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