hipsterjew's definitions

Jew Card

A figurative card used by Jews to guilt people/get out of a situation.

David: Ms. Stewart, I can't take the test tomorrow because --

Ms. Stewart: (Sighs) Lemme guess. You have ANOTHER Jewish holiday this week?

David: Actually, no. I'm just going on a vacation to Florida. I'm not using my Jew Card this time...

by hipsterjew November 1, 2010

Movie Jew

Not a real Jew, just plays one in the movies. Sometimes directors need an actor whom the audience will immediately recognize as Jewish, but isn't in real life, because, hey, who doesn't like to discriminate where it counts?

Ben Kingsley is the biggest Movie Jew I've ever seen. John Turturro is a close second.

by hipsterjew April 1, 2010

Keep it Circumcised

An exclusive gathering of male Jews

Josh: We are going up to Queens to see the Mets - Sox game. You coming?
Ari: Can I bring my roommate?
Josh: Sorry man, we're gonna keep it circumcised.

by hipsterjew March 9, 2010

Hebro

A bro of Hebrew origins, usually involved in Jewish Greek life, ex. AEPi.

Hebro 1: Hey bro, you going to the kegger at Delta Lamda tonight?
Hebro 2: You know it bro. Shits gonna be off the hook! (High fives)
Hebro 1: Alright. Well lets pregame during Shabbat dinner at Hillel.

by hipsterjew October 17, 2010

Jewish Mother Syndrome

Known short for JMS, it is an affliction where generally young, Jewish women begin taking on many characteristics of a married, older Jewish mother.

Avi: I think my girlfriend has Jewish Mother Syndrome.
Chaim: What would make you say that?
Avi: Well when I don't eat her cooking she guilts me by asking if I think I'm too good for her.
Chaim: Bummer, man. Dump her for a shiksa.

by hipsterjew March 15, 2010

Ironukkah

An ironic Hanukkah for Hipster Jews.

Adam's parents were terribly disappointed when they learned he'd be celebrating Ironukkah this holiday season. They had had enough with his 3-year stint celebrating Kwanza.

by hipsterjew December 2, 2010

woody allen

A Jewish nerd with an erection

Jonah looked around the room as he entered his advanced calculus class. He quickly sat down at an empty seat in an attempt to hide his woody allen.

by hipsterjew April 7, 2010