David: Ms. Stewart, I can't take the test tomorrow because --
Ms. Stewart: (Sighs) Lemme guess. You have ANOTHER Jewish holiday this week?
David: Actually, no. I'm just going on a vacation to Florida. I'm not using my Jew Card this time...
Ms. Stewart: (Sighs) Lemme guess. You have ANOTHER Jewish holiday this week?
David: Actually, no. I'm just going on a vacation to Florida. I'm not using my Jew Card this time...
by hipsterjew November 01, 2010
Jonah looked around the room as he entered his advanced calculus class. He quickly sat down at an empty seat in an attempt to hide his woody allen.
by hipsterjew April 07, 2010
Josh: We are going up to Queens to see the Mets - Sox game. You coming?
Ari: Can I bring my roommate?
Josh: Sorry man, we're gonna keep it circumcised.
Ari: Can I bring my roommate?
Josh: Sorry man, we're gonna keep it circumcised.
by hipsterjew March 10, 2010
Known short for JMS, it is an affliction where generally young, Jewish women begin taking on many characteristics of a married, older Jewish mother.
Avi: I think my girlfriend has Jewish Mother Syndrome.
Chaim: What would make you say that?
Avi: Well when I don't eat her cooking she guilts me by asking if I think I'm too good for her.
Chaim: Bummer, man. Dump her for a shiksa.
Chaim: What would make you say that?
Avi: Well when I don't eat her cooking she guilts me by asking if I think I'm too good for her.
Chaim: Bummer, man. Dump her for a shiksa.
by hipsterjew March 16, 2010
AePi Bro #1: Who's the smokin' JILF?
AePi Bro #2: That's my sister.
Bro #1: I'd like to show her my 'Woody Allen'
Bro #2: Dude....she's 14. Not cool.
AePi Bro #2: That's my sister.
Bro #1: I'd like to show her my 'Woody Allen'
Bro #2: Dude....she's 14. Not cool.
by hipsterjew March 23, 2010
Adam's parents were terribly disappointed when they learned he'd be celebrating Ironukkah this holiday season. They had had enough with his 3-year stint celebrating Kwanza.
by hipsterjew December 01, 2010
Not a real Jew, just plays one in the movies. Sometimes directors need an actor whom the audience will immediately recognize as Jewish, but isn't in real life, because, hey, who doesn't like to discriminate where it counts?
by hipsterjew April 01, 2010