gnostic 1's definitions

wrinklers

n. Folk that are unaware that they are far too old for a given pursuit.

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The entertainment world is full of wrinklers.

Yeah. Oprah, Bieber, Stallone. It's culling time.

by gnostic 1 February 2, 2013

proxy let down

n. A feeling of despair felt as a result of the failure of one's favourite team etc. The failure is felt on a deeply personal level despite one's lack of contribution.

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Yo. What's with the black armband.

I just feel so terrible today. I thought I gave it all I had. I tried to leave everything on the couch. I wore my team jersey, painted my face, bought a bumper sticker. I should have done more. I feel like I've let everybody down.

It's just proxy let down my man. Next season get some vintage jerseys for your kids and a recliner in the team colours.

by gnostic 1 February 3, 2013

howzat?

Interrogatory phrase expressing confusion and implying that something is seriously amiss.

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Downton Abbey is still on the air, along with American Idol and that Gilligan's Island contest.

Howzat?

by gnostic 1 February 9, 2013

deigloofication

v. Warming of a house or car etc. on a very cold day. Can also be used whimsically when discussing frigid partners.

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Dude! Your house is totally freezing! It is time to get some deigloofication going on in here.

Maybe you should slip on a cardigan.

by gnostic 1 February 9, 2013

Lethbridge

place. Small Albertan town nestled in a small gorge in the centre of a parched featureless plain. Home to a good variety of second-hand shops and discount tire dealers but lacking any connection to the vibrant stone-quarrying industry that has placed Cardston on the map.

Home to the Broncos ice-curling team and twice voted Canacian Prairie Town of the Year.

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Let's stop in Lethbridge and scrape these grasshopper bodies off the windshield.

by gnostic 1 February 23, 2013

pulling a pope

v. To quit unexpectantly. Also a sexual act.

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Where's Yvonne? We're about to open. She isn't pulling a pope is she?

Yeah. She phoned in. She doesn't feel that her fading spirit will allow her to continue here in the sort of capacity that is required.

She knows she's just a bar maid? Right?

by gnostic 1 February 23, 2013

Frank

place. Tiny Village in Alberta blessed with an abundance of enormous picturesque boulders that make it the "Stonehenge" of the Rocky Mountains. What is the meaning of the odd arrangements? How did the simple people move the enormous stones? Aliens? Why did this advanced civilisation die out?

These, and other mysteries are not addressed at a Government Interpretive Centre. Conspiracy?

Abandoned coal mines abound: ideal for family excursions, or climb the famous "groaning" Turtle Mountain.

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Look at all the boulders! How did they move them? And why did they build their dwellings beneath them? To understand you have to think like the ancient village itself.

You're not going to be Frank are you?

Yes. Yes I am.

by gnostic 1 February 24, 2013