gnostic 1's definitions

Wellington

place. Only the best city in New Zealand! Struth! From the beehive-shaped legislative buildings to the furnicular railroad that takes you down to the cricket rink there is little about Wellington that won't stop your heart with its grandeur.

Taken off the natives by enterprising Europeans in the seventeenth century, Wellington was rapidly developed into a pasture for sheep.

Rugby is played a bit but the terrain isn't really favourable and the people are more likely to follow lawn bowling or rounders.

Wellington is nearly as pretty as Christchurch and, with a good bit of work, could be as interesting as Auckland.

Without the first-class rugby.

Right.

by gnostic 1 December 10, 2012

urban ducktionary

n. Brilliant collection of strange new ducks and old ducks with new, usually pornographic, uses.

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Dude! What is that odd creature waddling behind you?

Oh, just something I found at Urban Ducktionary. We kind of bonded.

You gonna fatten her up and eat her?

Something like that.

by gnostic 1 December 23, 2012

New York

place. Bustling metropolis brimming with night life and dreamy-eyed folk chasing both the promise that is America and a sea of yellow cabs. Unlimited opportunity but limited seating. Concrete spires surrounding halal food carts beside world-class museums. Pigeons. So many pigeons. Many with feathers.

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Wow. That hurricane Sandy really messed this place up.

No. This is how it always looks.

Hey! How about those New York Knickerbockers!

by gnostic 1 December 9, 2012

crypter

n. Any ridiculously old "rocker" who insists on dancing about with his parchment-like skin sagging off his face and his shirt unbuttoned.

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My eyes! My eyes!

What's wrong dude?

I just saw Mick Jiggler unbutton his shirt! This concert should have had a crypter warning. Hand me another beer.

by gnostic 1 December 14, 2012

dingle bells

n. A derogatory term for any over-used Christmas song. The term was originally inspired by an insanely funny parody song not suitable for kiddies or younger elves.

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Listen. I think they are playing Dingle Bells and it is only November. Do they think we're a bunch of Perth cast-offs who can't tell time?

by gnostic 1 December 23, 2012

Halifax

place. Beautiful eastern seaport on the Atlantic coast. The best place in Canada to get crabs . Locals speak an interesting patois of English and Norse.

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Hey by Jimmy we should get some lobster in Halifax and maybe see about picking up a case of crabs by Jez.

by gnostic 1 May 9, 2013

goat parade

n. Any needlessly festive over-hyped celebration put on for the benefit of the organizers rather than the participants. Usually arranged by a government agency or a corporation to show that they are one with the people.

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Why all the bunting and balloons on Main Street? Did we finally win a war?

No. It's another goat parade. We're honoring finger-painters that have made a difference.

Will there be cake?

by gnostic 1 October 7, 2013