gnostic 1's definitions

tux deductible donation

n. Money given to graduate or groom to help him defray costs of hi-jinks-related tuxedo damage.

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Who knew orange spray paint would not wash out?

Yeah. You should totally give Larry a tux deductible donation.

As if.

by gnostic 1 May 27, 2013

wobbler

n. Anyone who has grown too old and infirm to continue at his trade or sport.

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Check out the wobbler playing hockey.

Can't read the writing on the wall.

Or anything else without his bifocals.

by gnostic 1 September 19, 2013

farmageddon

n.Unfortunate event which destroys a crop or otherwise damages a farm's existence.

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Yessir. I reckon it was before you was born, before the farmageddon, but this here used to be wheatfields as far as the eye could see. That was before they built them pipelines.

But after you and grandma stole the land from the Indians?

You hankerin' a whipping boy?

by gnostic 1 October 2, 2013

Hanna

place. Pretty village hidden amongst the gravel tailings that scar much of west central Alberta. Home to the Fighting Muskrats Senior hockey team and a plethora of Craft Shoppes, Hanna seeks to maintain an 18th century look to its streets and parks with a laissez-faire attitude to upkeep. The high school band won third place in a regional march-off in 1982 but no other musical talent has emerged from this vibrant arcane fenestration in the Canadian tapestry.

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Have any famous bands come out of Hanna?

Of course! The Hanna Bulls Marchers did us proud back in 1982.

by gnostic 1 May 5, 2013

Wellington

place. Only the best city in New Zealand! Struth! From the beehive-shaped legislative buildings to the furnicular railroad that takes you down to the cricket rink there is little about Wellington that won't stop your heart with its grandeur.

Taken off the natives by enterprising Europeans in the seventeenth century, Wellington was rapidly developed into a pasture for sheep.

Rugby is played a bit but the terrain isn't really favourable and the people are more likely to follow lawn bowling or rounders.

Wellington is nearly as pretty as Christchurch and, with a good bit of work, could be as interesting as Auckland.

Without the first-class rugby.

Right.

by gnostic 1 December 10, 2012

Halifax

place. Beautiful eastern seaport on the Atlantic coast. The best place in Canada to get crabs . Locals speak an interesting patois of English and Norse.

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Hey by Jimmy we should get some lobster in Halifax and maybe see about picking up a case of crabs by Jez.

by gnostic 1 May 9, 2013

goat parade

n. Any needlessly festive over-hyped celebration put on for the benefit of the organizers rather than the participants. Usually arranged by a government agency or a corporation to show that they are one with the people.

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Why all the bunting and balloons on Main Street? Did we finally win a war?

No. It's another goat parade. We're honoring finger-painters that have made a difference.

Will there be cake?

by gnostic 1 October 7, 2013