footfarmer's definitions

Gak Factory

The area where cocaine is taken; usually comprising a cd case, a credit or video store card, a rolled note (or cut down drinking straw), a baggie of coke and a determined and serious minded soul chopping lines, preparing to work the night shift.

Them: Nah, I didn't make it to the club, I went around Gareth's and got chained to the gak factory..

Me: Nice (shudder)

by footfarmer September 23, 2005

twirly

A scouse (Liverpudlian) expression for pensioner or old person. Free Bus passes for the elderly prohibit travel before certain times to make more space during rush hours. The phrase came about because bus conductors (now drivers) would say "you're too early" to the wrinklies pushing aggressively onto the bus

"Hold on, you're twirly - get the next one.. it's about 2 hours behind us"

"Got stuck in the queue behind a bunch of twirlies cashing in their piggy banks"

by footfarmer September 30, 2005

trouser

pretentious, useless (not in the 'for the sake of it' sense), meaningless gibberish, lies, exaggeration, any form of atonal music or ‘cutting-edge’ dance piece, unnecessary use of big, clever or showing off language – basically bullshit.

Q: How was that new restaurant/show/apartment/lawyer/urban dictionary website?
A: Trouser

by footfarmer September 17, 2005

Ghost shit

You take a dump and when you turn around to have a look at it (of course you do) there is nothing there..

"I swear i curled out a trans-atlantic cable but when i looked down there was nothing there.." "Whoa ghost shit!"

by footfarmer September 27, 2005

fender food

The indefinable gooey mess mess that sometimes appears on the front of your car - usually road kill, kangeroos, dingos, badgers, really really big insects etc but occassionally remenants might contain a tiny gloved hand, dog collar or leg iron..

"Step to the front of the vehicle please, could you explain this fender food please, Sir?"

"Er.. a dog?"

"Wearing a wristwatch?"

"Haha er.. god made me do it!"

by footfarmer September 24, 2005

iHole

A militant Apple fan who can't see beyond their often self-fulfilling products - usually a recent convert.

"This iPhone 5 is the most amazing thing that ever was, look it even makes calls!"
"God, you're such an iHole.."

by footfarmer September 12, 2012

heel food

Dog shit or something deeply unpleasent that gets stuck on the sole of your shoe / foot - similar to sole food. See also fender food

"No. don't come in the house! I don't want you just walking heel food all over my nice new rugs.."

by footfarmer September 24, 2005