ellsworthtoohey's definitions

the freezatorium

An abandoned warehouse/murder factory where the faucets gush blood which flows uphill to your zleebing bag to wake you with malicious intent to belt out impossibly loud screams of agony inches from your ear when they are denied fresh kidney fluid from your corpse collection. A fresh bath in the battery acid tank should cure you of your depression, however it is recommended that pregnant women and small children definitely should be allowed to partake in the festivities. Aside from that, the dreadful nighttime brings the risk of a visit from the terrible surgeon. He will wait for you in the corner, or at the eyeball barber's station in the basement, and insert two long rods into your nose, and through your cribiform plate into your brain, which really helps.

The freezatorium is one of the most inspirational places Ive ever come across. The floor is littered with fractured skulls, the flesh digested slowly by the disgusting snails that are carnivorous by nature, but psychopathic by design.

by ellsworthtoohey August 7, 2014

Lahngism

A German word meaning "to do slowly".

Do you sprechen lahngism?

by ellsworthtoohey August 1, 2012

urine cakes

A delicious food product made by urinating into the top of the wedding cone. One then leaves the urine filled cone in the sun for several weeks, where time and pressure cause the urine to solidify, and the various components of the urine to separate. The chef then scrapes off the undesirable portions of the urine cake, and using a deli slicer, slices the urine cake into uniform 1/4" slices, as done with liverwurst and the like, Finally the urine cake is enjoyed by schlepping it onto some pumpernickel bread, with some lettuce and horseradish mustard. A true delicacy.

You:"Hey junk mail, I got you some delicious urine cakes from the market."
Me:"Thats terrific, however i think i will stick with just the pumpernickel bread for today."
You:"No offence, but you're from the isle of corradine."
Me:"Heh..Harley Davidson."

by ellsworthtoohey July 26, 2011

the straw king

A highly trained, bilingual secret agent man made entirely of straw. Trained extensively in the field of extreme weather survival, covert operation, explosive weapon disarmament, long range sharpshooting, jungle survival, high speed precision driving, and witty comeback responses. The only way to appease this killing machine is to pay your respects to him by kissing him on the cheek. If due respect is not paid in full, upon time of arrival, you may find him at the foot of your bed at night...waiting to drag your soul to the underworld. Yeah, he specializes in that too.

Broccoli Rob must repay his respect to the straw king soon, or risk being flayed.

by ellsworthtoohey August 7, 2011

urban dictionary rage

the feeling you get when those dickface editors wont publish words/phrases you made on urban dictionary, due to the fact that they are "so fucking annoying" that i kill them all day, every day, and when i run out of dickfaces to kill, i resurrect them, and kill them once more to express my anger

I was suffering from acute urban dictionary rage, so I flew a helcopter into a high altitude brick wall at 110 nautical miles per hour. Win.

by ellsworthtoohey September 6, 2011

afterspice

some stanky ass nug piles; damn skunky herbal products; sticky icky delightfullness

Yo im bout to toast a j, u wanna get cooked on some afterspice?

by ellsworthtoohey May 15, 2011

Rounding the bases

When the runner loses a finger for every base achieved.

Rounding the bases is necessary for the game to play correctly.

by ellsworthtoohey December 11, 2017