5 definitions by donkeykongdick

An overweight person prone to order all types of fatty foods but concludes with a diet coke at the end of the request.
She's a diet-coker -- she ordered the triple-cheese lasagna, large onion rings, and a side of cole-slaw -- and of course, a medium diet-coke.

by donkeykongdick January 11, 2008
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Pertains to really botching up a situation and/or the process of choking in a sports situation.

Tends to portray totally fucking up someone's blissful morning moments and can be followed with equally impressive screw-up scenarios -- however the act of finding a turd in one's oatmeal is the trigger-phrase.
What the hell was he thinking with that presentation?? Jesus-f'ing-christ, he really shit in the oatmeal this time -- and wiped his ass with the omellete!!

All they had to do was make 3 free-throws at the end of the game -- they really shit in the oatmeal that game.
by donkeykongdick January 11, 2008
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It's when you take a shit and find whole bits of corn staring back at you. An especially chuncky turd filled with corn -- in theory, slow-cooked XXX chili could be replaced where XXX = peanuts, twizzlers, peas, etc.
After drinking 13 PBR's, I tried pushing a fart out but instead got a load of slow-cooked corn chili in my underwear.
by donkeykongdick December 23, 2007
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when bad events foment an unreasonably pessimestic view of life.
Life is a shit-filled twinkie and it's time to take another bite!
by donkeykongdick December 23, 2007
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The act of leaving
a) an elegantly large
b) a violently sprayful mess
in the tiolet bowl for someone else to discover.

Noun form: turdvertisement
I turdvertised a real long earth-snake at the bus station the other day -- man was I shit-proud!!!

After eating their chili with beans last night, I went back and left a horrendous turdvertisement in the restaurant's bathroom.
by donkeykongdick January 11, 2008
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