5 definitions by dankhaddock

false wetness

the usage of a sexual lubricant. specifically, using a lubricant without your partner's knowledge is "bearing false wetness."

"man, i thought my girlfriend was really ready for me last night, but later when i snuck into her purse i found out she was bearing false wetness. isn't that a sin?"

by dankhaddock May 8, 2012

ohmigod variant

how valley girls refer to the omicron covid variant.

“hey suzy, did you hear about the new ohmigod variant? it’s - like - sooooo contagious.”

by dankhaddock December 22, 2021

mater

the name for a significant other who is a dedicated partner, but where no marriage has taken place. indicative of a much stronger relationship than simply "boyfriend" or "girlfriend."

i'd like to introduce my mater, sheri.

by dankhaddock January 18, 2010

waiftress

the underweight, pasty, young urchin serving you in a bar. typically with doc marten boots, no makeup and stringy hair.

hopefully the draft in the bar won't blow our waiftress away before she brings me another beer.

by dankhaddock November 18, 2010

phonejam

the combination of earwax, sweat and dirt that builds up around the edges and in the depressions of your mobile phone or its case.

man, I haven't cleaned my case in months, it's almost black with phonejam.

by dankhaddock January 7, 2012