daltonjfk's definitions
Those thieving mfs using the spare Netflix profile you generously let a friend use.
Netflix second cousins are born when a friend, sibling, or ex shares the password to your Netflix account with their own friends, causing chain immigration into your hard-earned account. They burrow in the profile you don't use and suck the blood out of every last episode of Riverdale or, if they're your actual cousins, Rick & Morty. Netflix second cousins are the reason respectable people get ads targeted to people who still watch Family Guy.
Grateful Netflix second cousins will sometimes refer to the account owner as Auntie/Uncle Netflix. They are $10 richer than him or her.
Netflix second cousins are born when a friend, sibling, or ex shares the password to your Netflix account with their own friends, causing chain immigration into your hard-earned account. They burrow in the profile you don't use and suck the blood out of every last episode of Riverdale or, if they're your actual cousins, Rick & Morty. Netflix second cousins are the reason respectable people get ads targeted to people who still watch Family Guy.
Grateful Netflix second cousins will sometimes refer to the account owner as Auntie/Uncle Netflix. They are $10 richer than him or her.
1: "Why are GI Joe and Adventure Time suggested on your Guest account?"
2: "No doubt something to do with my Netflix second cousins and the phrase 'I'm sure he wont mind.'"
2: "No doubt something to do with my Netflix second cousins and the phrase 'I'm sure he wont mind.'"
by daltonjfk November 6, 2019
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Mr. Steal Yo Meal keeps very little in his own refrigerator. Eyewitness reports typically mention fuzzy half-eaten salads from Sweetgreen, cold lasagna, and the last slice in the packet of cold cuts. Though he is never seen preparing his own food, Mr. Steal Yo Meal is never hungry because in under a second, his arachnid-like digits can pilfer half a portion of fries and a pan full of pasta you were going to eat later.
Mr. Steal Yo Meal keeps very little in his own refrigerator. Eyewitness reports typically mention fuzzy half-eaten salads from Sweetgreen, cold lasagna, and the last slice in the packet of cold cuts. Though he is never seen preparing his own food, Mr. Steal Yo Meal is never hungry because in under a second, his arachnid-like digits can pilfer half a portion of fries and a pan full of pasta you were going to eat later.
1. "Your Honor, the defendant was caught smacking his lips despite having not cooked any dinner for himself. The defense rests."
2. "The Judge finds Mr. Steal Yo Meal guilty of Grand Theft Nuggets and sentences him to a trip to the grocery store on his own damn card."
2. "The Judge finds Mr. Steal Yo Meal guilty of Grand Theft Nuggets and sentences him to a trip to the grocery store on his own damn card."
by daltonjfk November 6, 2019
Get the Mr. Steal Yo Meal mug.The fatty, tasty Seamless/Deliveroo meal you get for free, but only because you have to stay at the office past midnight and can expense it.
New analysts learn to salt their onion rings with their own tears and draw faces on their burger buns to pretend they still have friends. After several hours of weeping over ketchup and Excel spreadsheets, the eater of a burger & cries will often send a “u up” text to the delivery driver.
New analysts learn to salt their onion rings with their own tears and draw faces on their burger buns to pretend they still have friends. After several hours of weeping over ketchup and Excel spreadsheets, the eater of a burger & cries will often send a “u up” text to the delivery driver.
Those muffled sounds you hear of crackling pickles, crumpling paper bags, and deep, despairing sobs are the analysts in the back digging into their nightly Burger & Cries
by daltonjfk November 27, 2019
Get the Burger & Cries mug.What your roommate watches after quietly walking to his bedroom and locking the door. Was formerly known as pornography.
Jarod: “Mike’s been in his room a while. What do you think is going on?”
Kevin: “He’s definitely watching some nog.”
Kevin: “He’s definitely watching some nog.”
by daltonjfk August 30, 2019
Get the Nog mug.I had a sentimental moment today when my tongue finally got that film shrapnel out of my teeth and we said a last goodbye.
by daltonjfk August 30, 2019
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Get the Snoop Logg mug.an individual of such immeasurable stature that he may be mistaken for a terrestrial rock formation. Attracts enthusiasts but should be attempted only by trained professionals.
Liam: “Whoa dude, there’s a pair of legs over there at the bar all by themselves!”
Wolfrick: “Nah bro, lean your head back and you’ll see it’s really a Count Everest”
Wolfrick: “Nah bro, lean your head back and you’ll see it’s really a Count Everest”
by daltonjfk August 30, 2019
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