daltonjfk's definitions
Those thieving mfs using the spare Netflix profile you generously let a friend use.
Netflix second cousins are born when a friend, sibling, or ex shares the password to your Netflix account with their own friends, causing chain immigration into your hard-earned account. They burrow in the profile you don't use and suck the blood out of every last episode of Riverdale or, if they're your actual cousins, Rick & Morty. Netflix second cousins are the reason respectable people get ads targeted to people who still watch Family Guy.
Grateful Netflix second cousins will sometimes refer to the account owner as Auntie/Uncle Netflix. They are $10 richer than him or her.
Netflix second cousins are born when a friend, sibling, or ex shares the password to your Netflix account with their own friends, causing chain immigration into your hard-earned account. They burrow in the profile you don't use and suck the blood out of every last episode of Riverdale or, if they're your actual cousins, Rick & Morty. Netflix second cousins are the reason respectable people get ads targeted to people who still watch Family Guy.
Grateful Netflix second cousins will sometimes refer to the account owner as Auntie/Uncle Netflix. They are $10 richer than him or her.
1: "Why are GI Joe and Adventure Time suggested on your Guest account?"
2: "No doubt something to do with my Netflix second cousins and the phrase 'I'm sure he wont mind.'"
2: "No doubt something to do with my Netflix second cousins and the phrase 'I'm sure he wont mind.'"
by daltonjfk November 6, 2019
Get the Netflix second cousins mug.The friend or flatmate whose glistening fingers are always in your food.
Mr. Steal Yo Meal keeps very little in his own refrigerator. Eyewitness reports typically mention fuzzy half-eaten salads from Sweetgreen, cold lasagna, and the last slice in the packet of cold cuts. Though he is never seen preparing his own food, Mr. Steal Yo Meal is never hungry because in under a second, his arachnid-like digits can pilfer half a portion of fries and a pan full of pasta you were going to eat later.
Mr. Steal Yo Meal keeps very little in his own refrigerator. Eyewitness reports typically mention fuzzy half-eaten salads from Sweetgreen, cold lasagna, and the last slice in the packet of cold cuts. Though he is never seen preparing his own food, Mr. Steal Yo Meal is never hungry because in under a second, his arachnid-like digits can pilfer half a portion of fries and a pan full of pasta you were going to eat later.
1. "Your Honor, the defendant was caught smacking his lips despite having not cooked any dinner for himself. The defense rests."
2. "The Judge finds Mr. Steal Yo Meal guilty of Grand Theft Nuggets and sentences him to a trip to the grocery store on his own damn card."
2. "The Judge finds Mr. Steal Yo Meal guilty of Grand Theft Nuggets and sentences him to a trip to the grocery store on his own damn card."
by daltonjfk November 6, 2019
Get the Mr. Steal Yo Meal mug.The fatty, tasty Seamless/Deliveroo meal you get for free, but only because you have to stay at the office past midnight and can expense it.
New analysts learn to salt their onion rings with their own tears and draw faces on their burger buns to pretend they still have friends. After several hours of weeping over ketchup and Excel spreadsheets, the eater of a burger & cries will often send a “u up” text to the delivery driver.
New analysts learn to salt their onion rings with their own tears and draw faces on their burger buns to pretend they still have friends. After several hours of weeping over ketchup and Excel spreadsheets, the eater of a burger & cries will often send a “u up” text to the delivery driver.
Those muffled sounds you hear of crackling pickles, crumpling paper bags, and deep, despairing sobs are the analysts in the back digging into their nightly Burger & Cries
by daltonjfk November 27, 2019
Get the Burger & Cries mug.His smug smile and white eyebrows give it all away - Mr. Clean's dirty secret arrives every Tuesday and Saturday and cleans his house with Shamwow.
by daltonjfk December 17, 2019
Get the Mr. Clean's Dirty Secret mug.1. "Why did you screenshot all those DMs you got from Lucia's ex? You trying to start beef?"
2. "Nah, I actually slid into his DMs ages ago after she dipped from the club without paying. The DMs and screenshots are part of the raise cattle phase."
2. "Nah, I actually slid into his DMs ages ago after she dipped from the club without paying. The DMs and screenshots are part of the raise cattle phase."
by daltonjfk December 17, 2019
Get the Raise Cattle mug.Gair: "Bruh you usually look faded by this time on a Friday, what's up?"
Mikel: "Man I thought this was gonna be a sober thing so I didn't bring my herbs, now I'm looking back wishing I had come prepared."
Gair: "Damn that's why your eyes look so clear - your hindsight is 420."
Mikel: "Man I thought this was gonna be a sober thing so I didn't bring my herbs, now I'm looking back wishing I had come prepared."
Gair: "Damn that's why your eyes look so clear - your hindsight is 420."
by daltonjfk December 17, 2019
Get the Hindsight is 420 mug.The statue of dirty clothes that develops on the chair or floor in a bedroom.
Stained by red wine and the sands of time. Thought by experts to be a sacrifice to Tide Pods.
Stained by red wine and the sands of time. Thought by experts to be a sacrifice to Tide Pods.
When entering Victor's room, please be sure to step around the six-foot Tide Shrine making its way from his closet to his chaise longue.
by daltonjfk December 19, 2019
Get the Tide Shrine mug.