daltonjfk's definitions
by daltonjfk August 30, 2019
Get the No print no scan mug.The circular imprint that develops in the skin of a wallet when a single man has carried an as-yet unused condom in it for too long.
Even after removing the contraceptive wang-sleeve (usually due to expiration rather than use), the single man's ring will usually persist for months to come. Upon close inspection, the single man's ring may occasionally be found pressed into banknotes and jeans pockets.
Even after removing the contraceptive wang-sleeve (usually due to expiration rather than use), the single man's ring will usually persist for months to come. Upon close inspection, the single man's ring may occasionally be found pressed into banknotes and jeans pockets.
Wandering the bars on Wednesday night, Pete realised the single man's ring which had developed in his wallet announced to all bartenders that he was wedded to the sadboi life.
by daltonjfk October 26, 2019
Get the Single man's ring mug.The first thing an alien buys after he drops his mixtape. Buckle is typically studded with space rocks.
“Zorg just released ‘Martian Sadboi’ and got straight into his rocket to go buy and Asteroid Gucci belt.”
by daltonjfk September 27, 2019
Get the Asteroid Gucci belt mug.Commando-in-sheets. President of working from home in nothing but a shirt. Gets dressed by invading the Dryrack. Went to Yale but pretends to be from Texas to gain acceptance from his O&G colleagues. Bedroom also known as the Broval Office.
Colleagues on Teams call: "I think you're on mute - we can't hear you."
George W. F. H. Bush: "But I can hear YOU!"
George W. F. H. Bush: "But I can hear YOU!"
by daltonjfk September 24, 2021
Get the George W. F. H. Bush mug.Hot, charismatic guy whom you quickly realise is some seriously toxic bad news.
Irresistable with his deep voice, toned chest, and prickly stubble; owns a different quilted coat for every outfit and actually knows how to fold a pocket square. However, after not much time you realise he has more insecurities than a game of Jenga and more commitment issues than the New York Subway.
Irresistable with his deep voice, toned chest, and prickly stubble; owns a different quilted coat for every outfit and actually knows how to fold a pocket square. However, after not much time you realise he has more insecurities than a game of Jenga and more commitment issues than the New York Subway.
Yvonne: "I don't know...he's in the best frat, drives a Benz, looks like Apollo, has a house in Rapallo..."
Ciara: "Leave him. He may have the biceps of Zeus, but he's still just a douche. His smile's disarming, but he's still Prince Alarming..."
Ciara: "Leave him. He may have the biceps of Zeus, but he's still just a douche. His smile's disarming, but he's still Prince Alarming..."
by daltonjfk October 3, 2019
Get the Prince Alarming mug.What everyone doing Dry January has secretly started by the middle of the month.
They may not be washing back Buds with Whiskey suds, but don’t be fooled. They’re high as balls.
They may not be washing back Buds with Whiskey suds, but don’t be fooled. They’re high as balls.
Ah yes, Leonard and Celine back at their old charade - pushing the wine glasses away as if we didn’t know they’re in full-blown Sky High January mode and smoked three blunts before they came to dinner.
by daltonjfk January 17, 2020
Get the Sky high January mug.Dime baggies of drugs your friends have had stashed away in their bottom drawer since March 2020. You can tell from the anemic plastic and dustbuster-looking powder inside that these particular drugs have not seen the sweet inside of a dollar bill since before every bar stopped accepting cash.
You may have survived a pandemic, but with these uncertain dimes back in circulation, your Friday night at Kind Regards might be more dangerous than ever before.
by daltonjfk September 24, 2021
Get the These Uncertain Dimes mug.