daltonjfk's definitions
The first thing an alien buys after he drops his mixtape. Buckle is typically studded with space rocks.
“Zorg just released ‘Martian Sadboi’ and got straight into his rocket to go buy and Asteroid Gucci belt.”
by daltonjfk September 27, 2019
Get the Asteroid Gucci belt mug.by daltonjfk August 30, 2019
Get the No print no scan mug.The circular imprint that develops in the skin of a wallet when a single man has carried an as-yet unused condom in it for too long.
Even after removing the contraceptive wang-sleeve (usually due to expiration rather than use), the single man's ring will usually persist for months to come. Upon close inspection, the single man's ring may occasionally be found pressed into banknotes and jeans pockets.
Even after removing the contraceptive wang-sleeve (usually due to expiration rather than use), the single man's ring will usually persist for months to come. Upon close inspection, the single man's ring may occasionally be found pressed into banknotes and jeans pockets.
Wandering the bars on Wednesday night, Pete realised the single man's ring which had developed in his wallet announced to all bartenders that he was wedded to the sadboi life.
by daltonjfk October 26, 2019
Get the Single man's ring mug.The fatty, tasty Seamless/Deliveroo meal you get for free, but only because you have to stay at the office past midnight and can expense it.
New analysts learn to salt their onion rings with their own tears and draw faces on their burger buns to pretend they still have friends. After several hours of weeping over ketchup and Excel spreadsheets, the eater of a burger & cries will often send a “u up” text to the delivery driver.
New analysts learn to salt their onion rings with their own tears and draw faces on their burger buns to pretend they still have friends. After several hours of weeping over ketchup and Excel spreadsheets, the eater of a burger & cries will often send a “u up” text to the delivery driver.
Those muffled sounds you hear of crackling pickles, crumpling paper bags, and deep, despairing sobs are the analysts in the back digging into their nightly Burger & Cries
by daltonjfk November 27, 2019
Get the Burger & Cries mug.Eating whatever scraps and leftovers one can find in the house after returning home from a night out. Jigsaw guzzlers are known to piece together meals of cold pasta in Tupperwares, hummus with a spoon, entire packets of sliced ham, and heels of bread from 4 different loaves.
Often leads to couch pizza the following day.
Often leads to couch pizza the following day.
Arriving home 3 hours before her 8AM sociology class, Kendra stumbled into the kitchen and jigsaw guzzled her roommates’ cereal, popcorn, and secret stash of Cheetos before devouring Sasha’s entire block of Parmesan.
by daltonjfk October 3, 2019
Get the Jigsaw guzzle mug.The act of hiding one’s dirty dishes under their roommate’s dirty dishes in the sink.
Gives the impression that the Mess Chess player has not contributed to the rising pile and allows him to pin the blame on his unsuspecting roommate. Expert-level players will make sure to eat the same thing their roommate last ate in order to hoodwink and bamboozle him into thinking the dishes are all his.
Gives the impression that the Mess Chess player has not contributed to the rising pile and allows him to pin the blame on his unsuspecting roommate. Expert-level players will make sure to eat the same thing their roommate last ate in order to hoodwink and bamboozle him into thinking the dishes are all his.
“Louie will never realise those extra plates I stashed under the pan he left in the sink are mine. I’ve checkmated him in Mess Chess.”
by daltonjfk September 8, 2019
Get the Mess chess mug.Your friend who goes to the Far East and comes back wearing silk and addicted to a drug you've never heard of.
Whereas Marco Polo brought pasta from China to Europe, this douchebag just brings werid pipes he claims form part of the local custom, but where in fact sold to him by locals playing him for the fool he is.
Probably converted to Buddhism to his gap year but doesn't understand it at all.
Whereas Marco Polo brought pasta from China to Europe, this douchebag just brings werid pipes he claims form part of the local custom, but where in fact sold to him by locals playing him for the fool he is.
Probably converted to Buddhism to his gap year but doesn't understand it at all.
Yann: "Payton's back from his gap year in Southeast Asia. He's been wearing silk and smoking some weird powder."
Tyson: “Oh good. Narco Polo has returned.”
Tyson: “Oh good. Narco Polo has returned.”
by daltonjfk October 3, 2019
Get the Narco Polo mug.