daltonjfk's definitions

Snoop Fogg

The thick smoke that collects in a room full of stoners.

Harry: “Where’s James?”
Jon: “Coughing on the other side of that Snoop Fogg.”

by daltonjfk September 16, 2019

Flexico

The corner of Instagram densely populated by basic rich kids' spring break photos.

In the #unfiltered alleyways of Flexico, you will behold Sara's ivory beach kimono with the little green birds embroidered on it; on the vsco boulevards of the Flexican peninsula you will find Robbie and Mikey posing on the bow of their father's Sunseaker...all this you will find in Flexico, and all this you will forward to your groupchat to bitch about.

by daltonjfk December 20, 2019

Romeo and Juuliet

The classic English-language tragedy of a college romance doomed when the young, beautiful Juliet falls more deeply in love with her Juul than with Romeo.

Has inspired reenactments in high schools and colleges across America.

"I think the saddest part of Romeo and Juuliet is when Romeo climbs up to her balcony but she can't see him through all her Juul smoke."

by daltonjfk October 4, 2019

Mr. Clean's Dirty Secret

He has a foreigner cleaning his house.

His smug smile and white eyebrows give it all away - Mr. Clean's dirty secret arrives every Tuesday and Saturday and cleans his house with Shamwow.

by daltonjfk December 17, 2019

These Uncertain Dimes

Dime baggies of drugs your friends have had stashed away in their bottom drawer since March 2020. You can tell from the anemic plastic and dustbuster-looking powder inside that these particular drugs have not seen the sweet inside of a dollar bill since before every bar stopped accepting cash.

You may have survived a pandemic, but with these uncertain dimes back in circulation, your Friday night at Kind Regards might be more dangerous than ever before.

by daltonjfk September 24, 2021

Rest in fleece

An honorable blessing provided to frat brothers, bankers, and members of Corporate America who have passed out at a party.

Bryan and Michael had a few too many beer bongs at the all-day BBQ and passed out in the flower bed. Fortunately, they were wearing their Patagonia vests. We pray that they rest in fleece.

by daltonjfk September 23, 2019

Wonktact

A weed contact. The guy in your phone who gets you wonky.

1: “yo how we gonna get Lucifer’s Lettuce in St Louis?”
2: “dw bro I got a wonktact there”

by daltonjfk September 21, 2019