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daltonjfk's definitions

Mess chess

The act of hiding one’s dirty dishes under their roommate’s dirty dishes in the sink.

Gives the impression that the Mess Chess player has not contributed to the rising pile and allows him to pin the blame on his unsuspecting roommate. Expert-level players will make sure to eat the same thing their roommate last ate in order to hoodwink and bamboozle him into thinking the dishes are all his.
“Louie will never realise those extra plates I stashed under the pan he left in the sink are mine. I’ve checkmated him in Mess Chess.”
by daltonjfk September 8, 2019
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Narco Polo

Your friend who goes to the Far East and comes back wearing silk and addicted to a drug you've never heard of.

Whereas Marco Polo brought pasta from China to Europe, this douchebag just brings werid pipes he claims form part of the local custom, but where in fact sold to him by locals playing him for the fool he is.

Probably converted to Buddhism to his gap year but doesn't understand it at all.
Yann: "Payton's back from his gap year in Southeast Asia. He's been wearing silk and smoking some weird powder."
Tyson: “Oh good. Narco Polo has returned.”
by daltonjfk October 3, 2019
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Film shrapnel

That one little bit of popcorn that lives between your teeth for three days after you see a film.
I had a sentimental moment today when my tongue finally got that film shrapnel out of my teeth and we said a last goodbye.
by daltonjfk August 30, 2019
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Tinder Advent Calendar

Swiping psychotically through Tinder after dinner each night of the holidays to kill time and ensure matches.

Alone in quarantine or bored stiff on their parents' couch, young singles everywhere swipe to the end of their daily allowance, reaping a heinous daily match with a past-prime hometown hottie, or the waiter from the cafe downstairs you've never seen with his mask off. Tinder Advent Calendar matches offer all the short-lived indulgence of the advent chocolates of childhood, but with the added risk of a dick pic.
Harriet's Tinder Advent Calendar currently features Abs Joe from Chem, now a year-round receptionist, and Cute Window Guy who makes ugly infographics on his Instagram.
by daltonjfk December 17, 2020
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Sky high January

What everyone doing Dry January has secretly started by the middle of the month.

They may not be washing back Buds with Whiskey suds, but don’t be fooled. They’re high as balls.
Ah yes, Leonard and Celine back at their old charade - pushing the wine glasses away as if we didn’t know they’re in full-blown Sky High January mode and smoked three blunts before they came to dinner.
by daltonjfk January 17, 2020
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Mr. Clean's Dirty Secret

He has a foreigner cleaning his house.
His smug smile and white eyebrows give it all away - Mr. Clean's dirty secret arrives every Tuesday and Saturday and cleans his house with Shamwow.
by daltonjfk December 17, 2019
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Bruhquaintance

An acquaintance whom one is always delighted to see, but with whom the relationship never seems to progress beyond gregarious greetings and enthusiastic dapping and hugging.

Occurs frequently at parties. Two bruhquaintances may greet one another with grins and a loud “BRUHHH” but the conversation rarely goes anywhere.
“Ty and I always dap up mad when we see each other. He seems like a chiller but we never really talk about anything. He’s my bruhquaintance.”
by daltonjfk September 10, 2019
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