daltonjfk's definitions

No print no scan

Alternative for “facts”. As in, no print, no scan, just fax.

Pierre: “Predrinks at mine this Friday.”
Farouk: “No print no scan.”
Danilo: “Just fax.”

by daltonjfk August 30, 2019

George W. F. H. Bush

Commando-in-sheets. President of working from home in nothing but a shirt. Gets dressed by invading the Dryrack. Went to Yale but pretends to be from Texas to gain acceptance from his O&G colleagues. Bedroom also known as the Broval Office.

Colleagues on Teams call: "I think you're on mute - we can't hear you."
George W. F. H. Bush: "But I can hear YOU!"

by daltonjfk September 24, 2021

Single man's ring

The circular imprint that develops in the skin of a wallet when a single man has carried an as-yet unused condom in it for too long.

Even after removing the contraceptive wang-sleeve (usually due to expiration rather than use), the single man's ring will usually persist for months to come. Upon close inspection, the single man's ring may occasionally be found pressed into banknotes and jeans pockets.

Wandering the bars on Wednesday night, Pete realised the single man's ring which had developed in his wallet announced to all bartenders that he was wedded to the sadboi life.

by daltonjfk October 26, 2019

Asteroid Gucci belt

The first thing an alien buys after he drops his mixtape. Buckle is typically studded with space rocks.

“Zorg just released ‘Martian Sadboi’ and got straight into his rocket to go buy and Asteroid Gucci belt.”

by daltonjfk September 27, 2019

Iron museum

The proper name for a gym. A palace of gains.

Roberto and Fabio hit up the iron museum every day so they can get yuge.

by daltonjfk August 30, 2019

Kim Jong Tune

A song so lit the masses submit to it unconditionally. Individuals of all music tastes have no choice but to adore its fat, wobbling rhythms. To criticise a Kim Jong Tune is a serious cultural heresy.

That fire drops like a nuclear bomb.

Back in the summer of 2015 I told people I didn’t like “Lean On”. The ensuing social ostracism I endured helped me understand that the song was in fact a Kim Jong Tune.

by daltonjfk September 23, 2019

Like laundering

Liking one’s own instagram post from a secondary account. Dupes unsuspecting followers into believing the poster is one like more popular than they actually are.

“The main reason I started a meme page was to get into like laundering my own posts.”

by daltonjfk September 8, 2019