crudmonkey's definitions

I'll scream

A threat by manipulative bitch women and Karen's who want to get their way, in the hopes that either other Karen's or Captain Save-a-Hos will come to rescue them.

Mindy: Buy me a drink
Bob: No.

Mindy: Do it or I'll scream.

Bob: No
Mindy AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Captain Save a ho: Oh whats the matter! Is he bothering you! Fuck you dude! Leave her alone! *beats Bob's ass*

by crudmonkey February 26, 2023

gaslighting

What those with mental health/perception issues accuse you of doing, when really you are trying to explain your perception of what's going on.

Her: "It's a 6"

Him (Standing on the other side) "It's a 9"

Her: You're gaslighting me!

by crudmonkey October 6, 2021

Profile Monkey

A person who manages the facebook profile of a famous person. They post comments on the celebrity's behalf, and will sometimes speak as if they are the celebrity themselves.

"Omg! Justin Bieber said on facebook that he wants to give a shout out to me omgomgomgomgomgomg!!!!!"

"No, that's his profile monkey who said that. Justin doesn't give a fuck about you"

by crudmonkey November 7, 2016

sucking science dick

When someone will take ANY position that "science" tells them to. No matter what it is. Even if it isn't real science but it is science based off of studies that were paid for by pharmaceutical companies, politicians, climate activist funds, or the democratic party.

Peter: Get your fucking vaccine! Or else you'll kill everyone around you!

Bob: Peter, quit sucking science dick and let people make their own choices.

OR

Dorito was sucking science dick when she was told by a "research study" that jumping off of a tall bridge would cure herpes, and she decided to jump just because it was from a "reputable source"

by crudmonkey May 27, 2022

pavement stone counter

traffic that is so slow and horrendous that you can literally look out the window and count the stones embedded in the freeway pavement.

There was a pavement stone counter on Interstate 80 today because some illegals caused a car accident that flipped a semitruck over and caused 5 other cars to crash.

by crudmonkey May 16, 2022

That Blonde

Another name for Taylor Swift. Usually used by reasonable people who don't think she's anything special and shouldn't be idolized.

Mindy: omg omg omg I TOTALLY want tickets to Taylor Swifts era's tour!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Morty: You know what Mindy I'm not getting you tickets and I sure as hell don't see why you'd bend over for THAT BLONDE.

by crudmonkey December 26, 2023

Faces

The fag and dyke epicenter of Sacramento, CA. This nightclub is filled with AIDS and all kinds of staph infections.

Paullywog went to Faces one night because his fag hag friends made him go.

by crudmonkey October 29, 2020