crudmonkey's definitions

shear the sheep

A game played by a couple where the chick doesn't shave downstairs, and the object of the game is to tackle her, restrain her, and forcefully shave her nether regions with an electric razor. Both parties are naked while playing this game, and the chick runs around the room trying to avoid the "shepherd."

Mindy is mad at her boyfriend because he played "shear the sheep" with her last night and she lost. Now she's part of the metoo movement.

by crudmonkey June 17, 2018

front hugging

The most censored form of the word "sexual intercourse"

Used by people on youtube to avoid the jewish censors in silicon valley.

Katie from "Without a Crystal Ball" loves to talk about front hugging.

She's mad because she hasn't gotten any front hugging in a while

by crudmonkey March 26, 2021

daddy manager

The superior one in a company that is only allowed to do certain things, because:
A. The employees are too stupid to do them
or

B. The employees aren't qualified to do them.
or
C. He just wants to show everyone how smart and great he is (whether or not he indeed really is).

Kind of like a relationship where "only daddy is allowed to touch the knives" to a 3 year old.

Customer: I want to buy that bottle of crown royale
Clerk: Ok!
Clerk #2: No wait! Alcohol sales need manager approval.

Clerk: Oh, so we have to wait for daddy manager to come approve the sale?!?! Bullshit!

by crudmonkey April 6, 2015

squirt the weasel

take a piss. Especially on the female side and when she doesn't shave her vajajay.

Sandrita needed to squirt the weasel because she drank too much Dr. Pepper

by crudmonkey April 25, 2020

Profile Monkey

A person who manages the facebook profile of a famous person. They post comments on the celebrity's behalf, and will sometimes speak as if they are the celebrity themselves.

"Omg! Justin Bieber said on facebook that he wants to give a shout out to me omgomgomgomgomgomg!!!!!"

"No, that's his profile monkey who said that. Justin doesn't give a fuck about you"

by crudmonkey November 7, 2016

college clout

Stupid things high schoolers with overbearing parents do because it will "look good to colleges." Examples being stupid presentations on poster boards to big bureaucratic organizations, trying to pass stupid laws while still in high school, or anything else that these kids legitimately don't care about but only do it because mommy and daddy want them to go to Harvard.

Ani Chaglasian and Arin Parsa are looking for college clout. They are college clout chasers.

by crudmonkey February 13, 2025

Example Woman

A woman that other women should look up to as an example of how to live and act. Women who have morals and don't fall for the woke leftist agendas that the colleges try to force down their throats. An example woman can also teach said morals to other women.

A woman outlined in Proverbs 31 is an Example Woman.

by crudmonkey March 8, 2023