crudmonkey's definitions

squirt the weasel

take a piss. Especially on the female side and when she doesn't shave her vajajay.

Sandrita needed to squirt the weasel because she drank too much Dr. Pepper

by crudmonkey April 25, 2020

gaslighting

What those with mental health/perception issues accuse you of doing, when really you are trying to explain your perception of what's going on.

Her: "It's a 6"

Him (Standing on the other side) "It's a 9"

Her: You're gaslighting me!

by crudmonkey October 6, 2021

show work

a teachers polite way of saying "I think you cheated/are going to cheat." Usually written on math assignments.

I got all the problems correct on my math assignment, but the teacher handed it back to me with an "F" and a note that said "Show work." What a bitch! Everyone can calculate 95+40 off the top of their head!

by crudmonkey October 9, 2014

That Blonde

Another name for Taylor Swift. Usually used by reasonable people who don't think she's anything special and shouldn't be idolized.

Mindy: omg omg omg I TOTALLY want tickets to Taylor Swifts era's tour!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Morty: You know what Mindy I'm not getting you tickets and I sure as hell don't see why you'd bend over for THAT BLONDE.

by crudmonkey December 26, 2023

Faces

The fag and dyke epicenter of Sacramento, CA. This nightclub is filled with AIDS and all kinds of staph infections.

Paullywog went to Faces one night because his fag hag friends made him go.

by crudmonkey October 29, 2020

sucking science dick

When someone will take ANY position that "science" tells them to. No matter what it is. Even if it isn't real science but it is science based off of studies that were paid for by pharmaceutical companies, politicians, climate activist funds, or the democratic party.

Peter: Get your fucking vaccine! Or else you'll kill everyone around you!

Bob: Peter, quit sucking science dick and let people make their own choices.

OR

Dorito was sucking science dick when she was told by a "research study" that jumping off of a tall bridge would cure herpes, and she decided to jump just because it was from a "reputable source"

by crudmonkey May 27, 2022

pavement stone counter

traffic that is so slow and horrendous that you can literally look out the window and count the stones embedded in the freeway pavement.

There was a pavement stone counter on Interstate 80 today because some illegals caused a car accident that flipped a semitruck over and caused 5 other cars to crash.

by crudmonkey May 16, 2022