crudmonkey's definitions

show work

a teachers polite way of saying "I think you cheated/are going to cheat." Usually written on math assignments.

I got all the problems correct on my math assignment, but the teacher handed it back to me with an "F" and a note that said "Show work." What a bitch! Everyone can calculate 95+40 off the top of their head!

by crudmonkey October 9, 2014

gaslighting

What those with mental health/perception issues accuse you of doing, when really you are trying to explain your perception of what's going on.

Her: "It's a 6"

Him (Standing on the other side) "It's a 9"

Her: You're gaslighting me!

by crudmonkey October 6, 2021

Profile Monkey

A person who manages the facebook profile of a famous person. They post comments on the celebrity's behalf, and will sometimes speak as if they are the celebrity themselves.

"Omg! Justin Bieber said on facebook that he wants to give a shout out to me omgomgomgomgomgomg!!!!!"

"No, that's his profile monkey who said that. Justin doesn't give a fuck about you"

by crudmonkey November 7, 2016

college clout

Stupid things high schoolers with overbearing parents do because it will "look good to colleges." Examples being stupid presentations on poster boards to big bureaucratic organizations, trying to pass stupid laws while still in high school, or anything else that these kids legitimately don't care about but only do it because mommy and daddy want them to go to Harvard.

Ani Chaglasian and Arin Parsa are looking for college clout. They are college clout chasers.

by crudmonkey February 13, 2025

squirt the weasel

take a piss. Especially on the female side and when she doesn't shave her vajajay.

Sandrita needed to squirt the weasel because she drank too much Dr. Pepper

by crudmonkey April 25, 2020

I'll scream

A threat by manipulative bitch women and Karen's who want to get their way, in the hopes that either other Karen's or Captain Save-a-Hos will come to rescue them.

Mindy: Buy me a drink
Bob: No.

Mindy: Do it or I'll scream.

Bob: No
Mindy AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Captain Save a ho: Oh whats the matter! Is he bothering you! Fuck you dude! Leave her alone! *beats Bob's ass*

by crudmonkey February 26, 2023

daddy manager

The superior one in a company that is only allowed to do certain things, because:
A. The employees are too stupid to do them
or

B. The employees aren't qualified to do them.
or
C. He just wants to show everyone how smart and great he is (whether or not he indeed really is).

Kind of like a relationship where "only daddy is allowed to touch the knives" to a 3 year old.

Customer: I want to buy that bottle of crown royale
Clerk: Ok!
Clerk #2: No wait! Alcohol sales need manager approval.

Clerk: Oh, so we have to wait for daddy manager to come approve the sale?!?! Bullshit!

by crudmonkey April 6, 2015