coozehound72's definitions
A term defining the feeling when you fart so hard that is hurts a bit deep inside your rectum. A feeling as if the fart scratched an itch that didn't need such hard scratching, and there may not have been an itch that needed scratching in the first place. An ouch-fart is similar to an itch-fart but much more intense. After the pain of the ouch-fart subsides, one usually feels a zen-like trance of beauty and acceptance come over them and then they may feel like having sex, drinking alcohol or getting hammered on some kind of heavy drugs, as their lowest of the low chakra has been stimulated through such an intense fart.
Guy: 'Pffffrrrrrtttt!!!! Youchie!!!'
Girl: 'Ooooh, gross, don't do that in bed, babe!'
Guy: 'Ooooff, that one hurt, frickin' ouch-fart, bebe, kind of tickled me deep inside or something. Kinda smarts a little!!!'
Girl: 'You're weird, dude, come and fuck me or something, just no more farting in bed'
Guy: 'Ok, fine, spread that greasy hole wide and I'll ram it home'
Girl: 'Ooooh, gross, don't do that in bed, babe!'
Guy: 'Ooooff, that one hurt, frickin' ouch-fart, bebe, kind of tickled me deep inside or something. Kinda smarts a little!!!'
Girl: 'You're weird, dude, come and fuck me or something, just no more farting in bed'
Guy: 'Ok, fine, spread that greasy hole wide and I'll ram it home'
by coozehound72 August 30, 2010
Get the ouch-fart mug.A reference to a woman's vagina, covered in hair, usually excessively, but not necessarily. A hairy pussy, an excess of pubic hair covering a woman's cooze.
Buddy #1: 'You see the hair-hole on that chick we were doggin' earlier, bro?'
Buddy #2: 'Yap, freakin' Chewbacca, wooly mammoth, Sasquatched-out hole slut, my brother. Fuckin' nasty, man, shoulda had a shave-party first, eh?
Buddy #1: 'Yer tellin' me, dawg, think I got some toilet-paper dingleberries up in my pubes after strokin' that funky hair-hole. Ever heard of Gillette??? Jeezus!
Buddy #2: 'Yap, freakin' Chewbacca, wooly mammoth, Sasquatched-out hole slut, my brother. Fuckin' nasty, man, shoulda had a shave-party first, eh?
Buddy #1: 'Yer tellin' me, dawg, think I got some toilet-paper dingleberries up in my pubes after strokin' that funky hair-hole. Ever heard of Gillette??? Jeezus!
by coozehound72 August 17, 2010
Get the hair-hole mug.A reference to a man's jizz-load or load of cum after it's been subsequently ejaculated into a woman's mouth/throat and swallowed down her gullet.
If the jizz-burst is spat or puked out, it can no longer be called 'swallowage', it would the be called 'jizz-spat' or 'spattage'.
If the jizz-burst is spat or puked out, it can no longer be called 'swallowage', it would the be called 'jizz-spat' or 'spattage'.
Chick: 'Babe, I'm really enjoying that swallowage! Hit the spot!'
Guy: 'My pleasure, chicken-tits, let me know if you're hungry again in 30 mins. or so, happy to oblige!'
Chick: 'Ok, babe, thanks for the snack!'
Guy: 'My pleasure, chicken-tits, let me know if you're hungry again in 30 mins. or so, happy to oblige!'
Chick: 'Ok, babe, thanks for the snack!'
by coozehound72 August 17, 2010
Get the swallowage mug.A small portion of cocaine. Usually offered on a key or a pen cap lid that has a long lip, or any other instrument that can hold aforementioned portion of cocaine. Can also be used in reference to methampthetamine, though more often with cocaine. Also referred to, when using a key as a key-bump. Most often, a bump is something requested and passed between friends at bars or cantinas, and then done in a restroom stall after the go-ahead is ok'd.
Partier #1: 'Yo, man, you got another bump from that 20 bag for me? I'll buy you a beer or something later.
Partier #2: 'It's the last time, asshole, you told me you'd buy me a beer for the last bump, dick.'
Partier #1: 'Hurry up and give me one, fuck-tard, before someone walks into the fuckin' bathroom. Shitty coke anyways, dick!
Partier #2: 'It's the last time, asshole, you told me you'd buy me a beer for the last bump, dick.'
Partier #1: 'Hurry up and give me one, fuck-tard, before someone walks into the fuckin' bathroom. Shitty coke anyways, dick!
by coozehound72 August 18, 2010
Get the bump mug.A term for a mousy-type woman, who might wear glasses and have a beak-like nose, and somewhat pretentious about films and stage performances, very dorky about such things and all, and has a preference for melted cheese on almost any other type of food other than unmelted cheese.
A cheese-bird may be known to smear brie on white bread and consider it a delicacy, or eat wheels of cheddar in just a few days. The cheese-bird strays from cheeses like Morbier, Stilton, and Cambazola. The cheese-bird prefers basic American cheeses such as Colby, Monterey Jack, Mild Cheddar, and even Sharp Cheddar too! And scoffs in maniacal laughter at the mention of Velveeta, somewhat pretentious in her faux-expertise on the subject of high-class varieties of American-made cheeses. She may consider her knowledge that 'chevre' is the French equivalent of 'goat cheese', and attempt to advise others, who already know as such, of such inanities.
Cheese-birds are known to fly to Wisconsin for winter, and sometimes, their bellies become so filled with cheese in such a cheese-fueled society there, that they can't fly out of the cheese-bird ponds from too much cheese-weight, and their legs then become frozen there in the icy pond, and they die there, lonely corpses, farting out fetid, sulfuric cheese-farts from their rotted and frozen cheese-bird zombie corpses.
A cheese-bird may be known to smear brie on white bread and consider it a delicacy, or eat wheels of cheddar in just a few days. The cheese-bird strays from cheeses like Morbier, Stilton, and Cambazola. The cheese-bird prefers basic American cheeses such as Colby, Monterey Jack, Mild Cheddar, and even Sharp Cheddar too! And scoffs in maniacal laughter at the mention of Velveeta, somewhat pretentious in her faux-expertise on the subject of high-class varieties of American-made cheeses. She may consider her knowledge that 'chevre' is the French equivalent of 'goat cheese', and attempt to advise others, who already know as such, of such inanities.
Cheese-birds are known to fly to Wisconsin for winter, and sometimes, their bellies become so filled with cheese in such a cheese-fueled society there, that they can't fly out of the cheese-bird ponds from too much cheese-weight, and their legs then become frozen there in the icy pond, and they die there, lonely corpses, farting out fetid, sulfuric cheese-farts from their rotted and frozen cheese-bird zombie corpses.
Buddy #1: 'Are you still dating that 'cheese-bird'?
Buddy #2 'Well, kind of.....I mean, last I heard she was working at a renaissance fair, selling pickles and all. She's actually called 'The Pickle Girl', I mean, that's her stage name or whatever.'
Buddy #1: 'Man, when's that cheese-bird flying to Wisconsin, bro?'
Buddy #2: 'Dude, pretty soon, hopefully soon, actually. Pretty sure Renaissance Fair season is over now and all.'
Buddy #1: 'Fuck yeah, yo, maybe she'll get stuck in a cheese-pond, whuuuuttt????'
Buddy #2 'Well, kind of.....I mean, last I heard she was working at a renaissance fair, selling pickles and all. She's actually called 'The Pickle Girl', I mean, that's her stage name or whatever.'
Buddy #1: 'Man, when's that cheese-bird flying to Wisconsin, bro?'
Buddy #2: 'Dude, pretty soon, hopefully soon, actually. Pretty sure Renaissance Fair season is over now and all.'
Buddy #1: 'Fuck yeah, yo, maybe she'll get stuck in a cheese-pond, whuuuuttt????'
by coozehound72 September 20, 2010
Get the cheese-bird mug.Slang term defining the act of shaving a man or woman's genitalia before sex. Usually, done drunkenly, and high on cocaine, though not necessarily, but, most easily done in a bathtub, and very carefully. A sensation much like riding a roller-coaster in that, when shaving someone's pubes from their genitalia whilst drunk and/or high, dangerous outcomes naturally present themselves.
Guy(after pulling off a woman's panties): 'Damn, we're gonna have to have a shave-party before I hit that hair-hole, slaggy-face!'
Girl: 'Ok, sounds fun! Can I have another bump and a shot of tequila first?'
Guy: 'Well, sure, why not? Whyn't you go ahead and draw a bath first and I'll follow you on in with the blow. Sorry to say, but yer' kinna' funky down there too, so wash that hair-hole out real good before our little shave-party, ok, there, pancake-tits?
Girl: 'Ok, sounds fun! Can I have another bump and a shot of tequila first?'
Guy: 'Well, sure, why not? Whyn't you go ahead and draw a bath first and I'll follow you on in with the blow. Sorry to say, but yer' kinna' funky down there too, so wash that hair-hole out real good before our little shave-party, ok, there, pancake-tits?
by coozehound72 August 17, 2010
Get the shave-party mug.The opposite of swallowage, the act of spitting out, instead of swallowing, a man's jizz-load or cum, after a man ejaculates into a woman's mouth, during the act of fellatio or getting a 'B.J.'. Synonymous with spattage.
Guy: 'Hey, chica, you don't swallow??? WTF?'
Chick: 'Gross, I would never!'
Guy: 'Well, then you better clean up that 'jizz-spat' off of my expensive comforter, slag-face.'
Chick: 'Gross, I would never!'
Guy: 'Well, then you better clean up that 'jizz-spat' off of my expensive comforter, slag-face.'
by coozehound72 August 17, 2010
Get the jizz-spat mug.