hummuscide

death by eating bad hummus

Detective Connors: "This was clearly a case of hummuscide."

Distraught Wife: "I know he was murdered!"

Detective Connors: "No, you stupid twit. He ate the hummus you made. Look at the crap you put in there! You killed him!"

by connorsji January 18, 2010

dragon

a girl that you would have sex with but never enter into a full-fledged relationship with

You have to slay a couple of dragons before you find your princess!

in business terms: in HR- A benefits specialist with no hope of promotion

Matt: "Joe, you slay that dragon yet?"
Joe: "No dude, she wants to be my girlfriend!"


Hey, you want to go dragon slaying tonight?
No, I already slew one today and then threw her out!

by connorsji January 22, 2009

Rip Van Shtinkel

A Rip Van Shtinkel is when someone farts so badly while they are asleep that the sound and odor wake them up.

Dave pulled off such a bad Rip Van Shtinkel that no only did it wake him up, it also woke up his wife and his two cats.

by connorsji December 23, 2009

spooker

a dead hooker

Diane: "You can't spend your money from the grave, Dave."

Dave: "No you can't, so I'll spend it before I go!"

Diane: "What, you gonna buy some hookers?"

Dave: "No, spookers."

Diane: "What are spookers?"

Dave: "Dead hookers. They'll give me a nice boo job!"

by connorsji January 22, 2010

penile loogie

what one shoots into a urinal after they masturbate in a company bathroom

The secretary looked so good that I had to go blow a penile loogie in the bathroom

by connorsji May 08, 2008

boycott

a Catholic priest's favorite place to sleep.

Father Cahill had a boycott in the rectory and slept like a baby. Meow!

by connorsji May 01, 2009

shurp

a burp that smells like shit

"What the hell did you eat? That was the grossest shurp I have ever smelled! Did you have beets and cottage cheese?"

by connorsji January 16, 2009