cheddarfloor's definitions
A man who can only perform sexually with a tight rubber band triple-wrapped round his cock to restrict blood-flow, whilst fantasising that he's a smurf shagging smurfette.
Rubberband man theme tune:
Gonna find me a rubber band,
Gonna wrap it round my chonson,
Gonna find that lil' smurfette,
And may her suck my big blue cock tonight!
Oh yeah! That's what I'm gonna do,
Cos I'm a crazy smurf with a big blue cock tonight!
That's what I am!
I'm not some weirdo with a rubber band wrapped round my cock, no!
I'm a friggin smurf!
Why won't anyone believe me?
Gonna find me a rubber band,
Gonna wrap it round my chonson,
Gonna find that lil' smurfette,
And may her suck my big blue cock tonight!
Oh yeah! That's what I'm gonna do,
Cos I'm a crazy smurf with a big blue cock tonight!
That's what I am!
I'm not some weirdo with a rubber band wrapped round my cock, no!
I'm a friggin smurf!
Why won't anyone believe me?
by cheddarfloor April 30, 2006
Get the rubberband man mug.A call to arms elicited by the head of a group of mutual masturbators as a signal that the time has come for some serious meat-beating or clit-flicking.
by cheddarfloor April 21, 2005
Get the Lets beat mug.A metallic replacement glans for a penis that has rotted away due to such STDs as clamhydaherpacrabs(sic.) and gonosyphillaids.
Jake: "I was thinking the other day: all my best friends are metal heads,"
Storm: "Well you do look a lot like Ian McKellen,"
Jake: "Why should that have anything to do with it?"
Storm: "This is why me and you never get down and dirty Jake - you're such a dumbass,"
Storm: "Well you do look a lot like Ian McKellen,"
Jake: "Why should that have anything to do with it?"
Storm: "This is why me and you never get down and dirty Jake - you're such a dumbass,"
by cheddarfloor April 21, 2005
Get the metal head mug.A homemade high-protein preserve traditionally distilled in two spherical receptacles. Best served in a series of short sharp jets over a pair of perfectly proportioned buns or baps.
Girl: "Eric, my fingers keep brushing against something hard in the popcorn. Is anything in there?"
Eric, popcorn bucket on his lap: "No, I don't think so. Here grab another handful."
---
five minutes later
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Girl:"Eric, why does the popcorn suddenly taste like manjam?"
Eric:"Er..don't know. Probably just...er...no I really haven't a clue. Couldn't give ya one good reason, i'm afraid. Nope. Er, hang on, maybe...ah no...nope...I can't think why at all. Sorry. No idea."
Eric, popcorn bucket on his lap: "No, I don't think so. Here grab another handful."
---
five minutes later
---
Girl:"Eric, why does the popcorn suddenly taste like manjam?"
Eric:"Er..don't know. Probably just...er...no I really haven't a clue. Couldn't give ya one good reason, i'm afraid. Nope. Er, hang on, maybe...ah no...nope...I can't think why at all. Sorry. No idea."
by cheddarfloor April 21, 2005
Get the manjam mug.To submit oneself to a ravaging by a randy canine in the hope that it will not then hump the leg of someone coming to visit you.
by cheddarfloor April 21, 2005
Get the take heat mug.Ooh baby, I'm about to squirt. Hang on, here it comes, wait, oh that's good..wait, wait for la leche baby...here it is...OH YEEAH! Wooh. You like the leche don't you baby!...Got la leche?? You do baby!! Haha! Yeah all in your mouth. Wow you're so good to me. Oh yeah that was good...oh yeah...can I try a bit?
by cheddarfloor April 20, 2005
Get the la leche mug.The black, sweet-tasting, ejaculatory elixir which many African cultures believe a man emits if he correctly enunciates the arcane word 'Dukdukhjjuutybuqu' upon orgasm.
"I'm afraid your wife will die within 5 hours."
"Nah it's alright doc, i'll just pump her full of cock diesel and she'll be right as rain."
"Nah it's alright doc, i'll just pump her full of cock diesel and she'll be right as rain."
by cheddarfloor April 21, 2005
Get the cock diesel mug.