channel_panel's definitions

telenovela banished

Where all ties are dramatically, definitively and even threateningly cut, leaving the receiving party not only with no hope of reversal or reconciliation, but causing them to question their most basic beliefs about the closeness of the former relationship and their own sense of reality within it.

Often neatly reconciled by audacious deus ex machina.

M: "Hey, is it cool if we talk when you get back from Mexico?"
L: "I guess so...after all, I haven’t telenovela banished you yet"

by channel_panel November 27, 2019

expentials

Expensive essentials. When the price of basics gets too damn high.

Matt: "I just bought a chapstick, superglue, cup of coffee and 3 bananas!"
Cash: "How much did that cost you?"
Matt: "About fifty bucks! Just getting the expentials!"

by channel_panel June 14, 2023

crumble this cookie

A phrase, usually uttered by attractive yet really stuck up females. It is used to make it seem like the odds of you getting them naked in the sack are close to nil.

The standard usage is: "You could never crumble this cookie", although variants are frequently encountered in the wild, especially when it comes to girls who are car hoppers.

Girl: "I'm far from a rookie. And you could never ever crumble this cookie"

by channel_panel November 24, 2018

T Paining

T Paining is a verb used to describe what happens, on a Zoom call, when you start to cut out and your voice starts to glitch and stutter, resembling the heavily autotuned vocals of a T Pain song.

Bob: "The metrics for quarter --- zzz -- bzzz -- fzzzz --- "
Employee: "So it looks like Bob is T Paining right now...let's give him a second to reconnect"

by channel_panel September 29, 2020

plsrspnd

Netspeak for 'please respond'.
Usually texted when you get left on read, and often will increase the odds of getting a response greatly.

B: "Did you watch that Harry Potter knockoff porn? Sperm-on-me's Secret?"
M: <no response>
B: plsrspnd
M: Oops, sorry! Watching now

by channel_panel January 13, 2019

failing asleep

This term describes the nightly experience of those unfortunate schmucks who just absolutely cannot fucking fall asleep, no matter how much thrashing around in bed they do or how much ruminating over past mistakes they indulge in. Instead of falling asleep, an insomniac is simply failing asleep.

Alice: "Wow, you look like hell"
Bob: "<mumble> last night I was failing asleep and couldn't stop thinking about some shit from middle school when I got my bike stolen"

by channel_panel June 16, 2018

cashin nova

Term referring to an unattractive male who gets attention from ladies because he has money.

Girl 1: "Hey! I got a date with that guy Michael from upstairs!"
Girl 2: "You mean the really ugly one who is about 4'2" and has bad breath and terrible skin?"
Girl 1: "Yeahhh grrrll....he's my lil' cashin nova!"

by channel_panel February 27, 2019