2 definitions by cathodeRay
A dire medical situation in which a male human has BROKEN his erect penis.
Although the penis is not really a bone - it only feels that way 90% of the time! - it can still be broken, if enough force is applied at the correct angle (e.g. falling on it, or slamming it in a door).
Often, there is an audible "cracking" sound accompanying this tortuous, apocalyptic event. And, like a broken bone, the fractured penis needs to be "set" as soon as possible after breakage occurs, to ensure proper healing.
A broken penis is a medical emergency, so if you are experiencing the symptoms of bucklecock (screaming in pain, penis misshapen and pointing off at a sickening angle, significant other has feinted from the sight of it, etc.) then I implore you to stop reading this and seek professional medical assistance immediately.
Although the penis is not really a bone - it only feels that way 90% of the time! - it can still be broken, if enough force is applied at the correct angle (e.g. falling on it, or slamming it in a door).
Often, there is an audible "cracking" sound accompanying this tortuous, apocalyptic event. And, like a broken bone, the fractured penis needs to be "set" as soon as possible after breakage occurs, to ensure proper healing.
A broken penis is a medical emergency, so if you are experiencing the symptoms of bucklecock (screaming in pain, penis misshapen and pointing off at a sickening angle, significant other has feinted from the sight of it, etc.) then I implore you to stop reading this and seek professional medical assistance immediately.
I fell out of bed last night and got bucklecock! When I wouldn't quit screaming, my girlfriend taped a tennis ball in my mouth and drove me to the emergency room, where everyone laughed at me while I laid under a table, whimpering.
by cathodeRay March 14, 2008
The theory that computer programmers obtain quasi-magical, superhuman coding ability when they have a blood alcohol concentration percentage between 0.129% and 0.138%. The discovery of this effect is attributed to Steve Ballmer, CEO of Microsoft - who probably "discovered" it by simply monitoring his own perpetually inebriated nervous system, and deducing that programming ability "peaks" after a few drinks and then dips dramatically after full-blown drunkenness ensues.
If you can convince your boss that this is all based on legitimate science, and that the effect is real (i.e. your drunkeness = better code = more money for the company), then you will have achieved perfection in this world. There will be no reason to ever come back sober from lunch again.
Also known as "The Ballmer Curve" and "The Ballmer Effect" this state has been observed by people who play darts... and musicians. Although, to be fair, musicians only notice the effect briefly (and totally by accident) as they transition from complete sobriety to absolute drunkeness - without ever even trying to moderate their alcohol intake in order to stay at the peak.
If you can convince your boss that this is all based on legitimate science, and that the effect is real (i.e. your drunkeness = better code = more money for the company), then you will have achieved perfection in this world. There will be no reason to ever come back sober from lunch again.
Also known as "The Ballmer Curve" and "The Ballmer Effect" this state has been observed by people who play darts... and musicians. Although, to be fair, musicians only notice the effect briefly (and totally by accident) as they transition from complete sobriety to absolute drunkeness - without ever even trying to moderate their alcohol intake in order to stay at the peak.
I had three more Long Island Teas after I had already hit the Ballmer Peak, so now none of my fucking code will compile.
by cathodeRay February 4, 2008