captmurk's definitions

Chard

A better abbreviation for 'Richard'

Dave: "Hey Chard, how you been?"
Chard: "My name is Richard, but you can call me Rich, Rick, Ricky, or Dick"
Dave: "No, your name is Chard"

by captmurk August 22, 2014

Viper

2 in the pink and 2 in the stink. More advanced version of the shocker.

The shocker is overrated. You gotta hit em with the viper.

by captmurk May 13, 2018

Highdeology

The obscure philosophies and theories that stoners formulate whilst baked.

Dude: "Hey man, have you ever noticed the similarities between nachos and religion?"

Bro: "What the fuck are you talking about?"

Dude: "Layers, man. It's all about the layers..."

Bro: "Yeah, I'm not nearly baked enough to grasp the full depth of this highdeology."

by captmurk January 17, 2014

Goose Cheese

The female version of duck butter.

Guy: We ain't having sex right now. I haven't showered once on this camping trip.
Girl: Don't worry about it, my goose cheese will even the score.

by captmurk June 22, 2015

Blanched

To be completely belligerent or inebriated as a result of consuming too much alcohol. This word is used to describe drunkenness for two reasons. 1) The word itself just sounds like it means shit faced. 2) The actual meaning of the word defines a cooking method in which food is dunked in hot, then cold water to loosen the skin. The metaphor being, saturating something in liquid unit it changes.

Party Animal 1: I am so hungover I can hear colors.

Party Animal 2: Yeah, dude. We got fucking blanched last night.

by captmurk November 13, 2013

Mini Van Rage

A person, usually male, who drives a mini van with anger and recklessness. It is a reflection of a person's aggravation with what their life has become. These people likely hate the fact that they had way more kids than they intended, and the pressure of accommodating these high maintenance brats, in combination with having to drive such an embarrassing vehicle, has reached a boiling point. They can be commonly spotted doing 90mph on the freeway swerving in and out of lanes cursing to themselves.

Bystander 1: Wow, did you see that guy?!?! He almost killed two pedestrians and a dog while blowing that stop sign.

Bystander 2: Yeah, classic mini van rage. He's probably late to a parent/teacher meeting.

by captmurk November 13, 2013

Urban Dic Voter

The d-bags who only approve words that either validate their political beliefs, or words that are so well known and bland they serve no purpose on this website what-so-ever. Words like Easter Bunny, Movie Theater, I fucking love you, Year, etc. Furthermore, they decline words that are too awesome for their fucktard minds to grasp. Words like, Goose Cheese - the female equivalent of duck butter. If YOU are that type of voter, shame on you.

Knowing my luck, I'll probably draw an Urban Dic Voter... and this awesome definition will vanish into the abyss.

by captmurk June 21, 2015