captmurk's definitions
Guy: We ain't having sex right now. I haven't showered once on this camping trip.
Girl: Don't worry about it, my goose cheese will even the score.
Girl: Don't worry about it, my goose cheese will even the score.
by captmurk June 22, 2015
Get the Goose Cheesemug. To be completely belligerent or inebriated as a result of consuming too much alcohol. This word is used to describe drunkenness for two reasons. 1) The word itself just sounds like it means shit faced. 2) The actual meaning of the word defines a cooking method in which food is dunked in hot, then cold water to loosen the skin. The metaphor being, saturating something in liquid unit it changes.
Party Animal 1: I am so hungover I can hear colors.
Party Animal 2: Yeah, dude. We got fucking blanched last night.
Party Animal 2: Yeah, dude. We got fucking blanched last night.
by captmurk November 13, 2013
Get the Blanchedmug. When a woman goes out of her way to please her man while dating, only to abandon these things entirely once married.
Friend 1: "Dude, I think I'm in love with this girl. She deepthroats, cooks for me every night, and cleaned my entire apartment this weekend."
Friend 2: "Sounds like a classic case of altarbaiting to me. Careful, bro.
Friend 2: "Sounds like a classic case of altarbaiting to me. Careful, bro.
by captmurk November 21, 2013
Get the Altarbaitingmug. The surprisingly attractive and fairly successful female governor of Alaska. She belongs to the Republican party. Unlike the party of all these "tolerant" liberals who are demonizing her on this website for being Christian and considering fiscal responsibility, and energy independence a priority.
Liberal 1: I belong to the party of acceptance that respects all people for who they are and what they believe. But Sarah Palin is a stupid cunt of a whore who has the mind of a Neanderthal because she embraces Christian values and enjoys the outdoors and hunting.
Liberal 2: Yeah, tell me about it. Those Republicans are nothing but evil, rich, white Nazi bastards who just want to murder gays and starve our children. I'm so thankful that I belong to the Party of Tolerance that never participates in prejudice or bigotry.
Liberal 2: Yeah, tell me about it. Those Republicans are nothing but evil, rich, white Nazi bastards who just want to murder gays and starve our children. I'm so thankful that I belong to the Party of Tolerance that never participates in prejudice or bigotry.
by captmurk December 3, 2013
Get the Sarah Palinmug. Dude: "Hey man, have you ever noticed the similarities between nachos and religion?"
Bro: "What the fuck are you talking about?"
Dude: "Layers, man. It's all about the layers..."
Bro: "Yeah, I'm not nearly baked enough to grasp the full depth of this highdeology."
Bro: "What the fuck are you talking about?"
Dude: "Layers, man. It's all about the layers..."
Bro: "Yeah, I'm not nearly baked enough to grasp the full depth of this highdeology."
by captmurk January 17, 2014
Get the Highdeologymug. by captmurk May 13, 2018
Get the Vipermug. The outrageous and perverted sense of courage old men acquire upon realize how little they have to lose. Those diagnosed with ballzheimers can be commonly spotted groping young women in line at stores, or shouting out absurd rants at strangers.
Old guy shouts across the geriatric ward: "Hey, Betty! Bring that fine ass over here and twerk it for me girl!"
Nurse: "Look, Harvey, your ballzheimers is getting way out of hand. Just sit back, be quiet, and finish your Tapioca."
Nurse: "Look, Harvey, your ballzheimers is getting way out of hand. Just sit back, be quiet, and finish your Tapioca."
by captmurk December 26, 2013
Get the Ballzheimersmug.