Speed Screen

Using another speeding car to mask your speeding, thereby avoiding radar detection. A speed screen can be executed by falling in behind another speeding car on the freeway while driving only slightly slower than them. The idea is that the potential highway patrol officer, a mile up the road, will tag his/her car first with his radar gun, allowing you enough time to slow down and slip by unnoticed.

A speed screen expert will also be observant of the leading car's braking habits. If he/she randomly hits their brakes, it's likely that they've spotted an officer up the road. Their brake lights act as a potential police warning system.

The ideal speed screen is one in which you are sandwiched between two speeding cars, one in front, one in back. The rear car will screen you from flanking police cruisers.
Example 1:
Wife: Can you drive faster, we're late.
Husband: I don't want to get a ticket.
Wife: Just use a speed screen you pussy.

Example 2:
Driver: Dude, this guy coming up behind me is flying.
Passenger: That's a perfect speed screen, get behind him and step on it.
by captmurk November 14, 2013
mugGet the Speed Screenmug.

Sarah Palin

The surprisingly attractive and fairly successful female governor of Alaska. She belongs to the Republican party. Unlike the party of all these "tolerant" liberals who are demonizing her on this website for being Christian and considering fiscal responsibility, and energy independence a priority.
Liberal 1: I belong to the party of acceptance that respects all people for who they are and what they believe. But Sarah Palin is a stupid cunt of a whore who has the mind of a Neanderthal because she embraces Christian values and enjoys the outdoors and hunting.

Liberal 2: Yeah, tell me about it. Those Republicans are nothing but evil, rich, white Nazi bastards who just want to murder gays and starve our children. I'm so thankful that I belong to the Party of Tolerance that never participates in prejudice or bigotry.
by captmurk December 03, 2013
mugGet the Sarah Palinmug.

Mini Van Rage

A person, usually male, who drives a mini van with anger and recklessness. It is a reflection of a person's aggravation with what their life has become. These people likely hate the fact that they had way more kids than they intended, and the pressure of accommodating these high maintenance brats, in combination with having to drive such an embarrassing vehicle, has reached a boiling point. They can be commonly spotted doing 90mph on the freeway swerving in and out of lanes cursing to themselves.
Bystander 1: Wow, did you see that guy?!?! He almost killed two pedestrians and a dog while blowing that stop sign.

Bystander 2: Yeah, classic mini van rage. He's probably late to a parent/teacher meeting.
by captmurk November 13, 2013
mugGet the Mini Van Ragemug.

Altarbaiting

When a woman goes out of her way to please her man while dating, only to abandon these things entirely once married.
Friend 1: "Dude, I think I'm in love with this girl. She deepthroats, cooks for me every night, and cleaned my entire apartment this weekend."
Friend 2: "Sounds like a classic case of altarbaiting to me. Careful, bro.
by captmurk November 21, 2013
mugGet the Altarbaitingmug.

Urban Dic Voter

The d-bags who only approve words that either validate their political beliefs, or words that are so well known and bland they serve no purpose on this website what-so-ever. Words like Easter Bunny, Movie Theater, I fucking love you, Year, etc. Furthermore, they decline words that are too awesome for their fucktard minds to grasp. Words like, Goose Cheese - the female equivalent of duck butter. If YOU are that type of voter, shame on you.
Knowing my luck, I'll probably draw an Urban Dic Voter... and this awesome definition will vanish into the abyss.
by captmurk June 21, 2015
mugGet the Urban Dic Votermug.

Majority Privilege

What white privilege should actually be called. Could also be referred to as common sense. Describes the naturally occurring phenomenon in which being apart of the majority has at least some measurable advantage. Applies to any majority group, anywhere, at any point in time. Whites have an advantage in North America and Europe in a similar way that Asians have an advantage in China, Hispanics have an advantage in Columbia, Muslims have an advantage in Iran, Jews have an advantage in Israel, conservatives have an advantage in Birmingham, liberals have an advantage in Portland, etc.
My majority privilege seemed to evaporate the moment I landed in Liberia.
by captmurk July 23, 2018
mugGet the Majority Privilegemug.

Ghouly Wand

When you stick your finger in your butthole and fish hook someone.
There are two types of people in the world: those who give wet willies, and those who give ghouly wands.
by captmurk May 25, 2018
mugGet the Ghouly Wandmug.