cactuscat's definitions

rugby

Really stupid sport played using a ball that isn't even ball shaped. There are two kinds of it but few people know or care what the difference is. Invented when a thick schoolboy picked up the ball and ran with it during a game of football. Because he was posh he didn't get his head kicked in, instead he was congratulated for inventing a new sport, which was named after the school he attended. I can honestly say I have never spoken to a single person with any interest in rugby.

If you think football is boring to watch, you should see rugby. Or, rather, you shouldn't.

by cactuscat September 15, 2006

gitsurfing

Gitsurfing (aka biddysurfing) is when a young person (usually around 9-15) runs up behind an old person and jumps on his or her back, the momentum of the run-up causing the oldie to move forward a few steps before falling to the floor. The craze, though possibly not the words gitsurfing or biddysurfing, is thought to have originated in Manchester in the mid-1990s and appears to be slowly growing in popularity.

I'll give you a thick ear if I hear you've been gitsurfing again.

by cactuscat September 15, 2006

rock

Sub-genre of popular music characterised by a regular beat and the use of melodic and harmonic strains derived largely from the blues and country music. Originally, in the 1950s, it fell into one of two categories - Rock 'N' Roll (rhythm and blues tailored for a white audience) or Rockabilly (similar but with the country/hillbilly influence to the fore.) Before long new variations of the form began to emerge and, considered as a whole, have been the dominant kind of popular music up to the present time.

If it's nu-alterna-punk-emo-indie music...why does it sound like rock?

by cactuscat September 15, 2006

binge drinking

Formerly known as getting drunk/hammered/bladdered/legless etc etc. The media's precise reason for their re-branding of this age-old practice remains unclear.

Newspaper headline: Binge drinking on the increase in under 30s.

by cactuscat September 15, 2006

marvin medium

The white gluey stuff you used to use in 'arts and crafts' at primary school. No good for sniffing, very good for sticking bog roll tubes onto washing-up liquid bottles (remember to empty them first and get your mum's permission, not your dad's, it has to be your mum's). Probably not still available, like free milk at breaktime and golden nuggets.

teacher: let's make a spaceship by sticking all this rubbish together with marvin medium.
pupil: let's humour the silly cow.
other pupils: like we have a choice.

by cactuscat September 17, 2006

bills

Boxer shorts, y-fronts or briefs. Rhyming slang: Bill Grundies = undies. Used specifically for male lower underwear, never female lingerie. Bill Grundy was a famous British television presenter, mostly on news-magazine programmes.

I need some new bills, these are full of holes.

by cactuscat September 15, 2006

Pete Townshend-style research

Viewing any kind of sexually stimulating material (not necessarily illegal or even explicit) on the internet. In common use in northern England, and possibly elsewhere, this expression originates from pop musician Pete Townshend's explanation of why he gave his credit card details to a website containing visual depictions of children being sexually abused - that he wished to view the material for research purposes. Although the implication of the term is that Townshend was lying he was, in fact, cleared of all charges.

Sorry I didn't answer the phone, I was doing some Pete Townshend-style research.

by cactuscat September 14, 2006