cactuscat's definitions

wassock

Lancashire dialect word, only ever used light-heartedly as a very mild insult. Pronounced 'wazzock' rather than with an 's' sound. Once famously appeared on a hit record by Tony Capstick, giving it a brief period of popularity with schoolkids, including me, but now only uttered without a degree of irony by coffin dodgers.

No, you wassock, I said Settle, not Seattle!

by cactuscat September 14, 2006

knobstand

Knob is commonly used in Britain to mean penis, so the implication of knobstand is that someone is useless, that he serves no purpose other than to support his own genitals. Not in general use but sometimes heard said by teenagers in South Manchester. A few years ago I saw it in an Australian music fanzine, but I would assume this was written by someone with connections to Northern England.

Can't you do anything right? You knobstand!

by cactuscat September 14, 2006

bills

Boxer shorts, y-fronts or briefs. Rhyming slang: Bill Grundies = undies. Used specifically for male lower underwear, never female lingerie. Bill Grundy was a famous British television presenter, mostly on news-magazine programmes.

I need some new bills, these are full of holes.

by cactuscat September 15, 2006

Pete Townshend-style research

Viewing any kind of sexually stimulating material (not necessarily illegal or even explicit) on the internet. In common use in northern England, and possibly elsewhere, this expression originates from pop musician Pete Townshend's explanation of why he gave his credit card details to a website containing visual depictions of children being sexually abused - that he wished to view the material for research purposes. Although the implication of the term is that Townshend was lying he was, in fact, cleared of all charges.

Sorry I didn't answer the phone, I was doing some Pete Townshend-style research.

by cactuscat September 14, 2006

dabbling in the market

Buying cheap crap off stalls, but only now and again.

I've been dabbling in the market for years, I can handle it, don't worry.

by cactuscat September 15, 2006

cabbage

Implausibly large sprout. Quite scary.

That cabbage is looking at me, please make it stop.

by cactuscat September 16, 2006

aristocrat

A member of the ruling class; a very posh person.
Aristocrats are very easy to identify - the men look like inbred halfwits and the women look like horses.
Hated by everyone, even only slightly less posh people.

Charles is an aristocrat, as is Camay or Camisole or whatever her name is. Soon we will all be their subjects.

by cactuscat September 15, 2006