al-in-chgo's definitions
A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax . . . sometimes a very funny turn of phrase.
So what's a "paraprosdokian"?
"Like this: I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."
"I don't get it"-
"Okay, how about: Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience."
"You mean, something like: I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."
"Phrasemaker!"
"Like this: I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."
"I don't get it"-
"Okay, how about: Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience."
"You mean, something like: I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."
"Phrasemaker!"
by al-in-chgo September 18, 2010
Get the paraprosdokianmug. The urban practice wherein a man strolls the streets, fully clothed and in a belted trench coat, and slowly but covertly, though a side pocket, masturbates himself in the presence of fellow pedestrians and pasers-by. The benefit of the act is sometimes claimed to be expediency, but more likely is the ability to "get away with it," especially when ejacualation is achieved but not revealed.
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"Why do you say Geoff's a wanker?" -- "I mean, literally, man. I ran into him on Halsted and he had just done a complete London Flog."
"How could you tell?" -- "Well, partly by the refreshed happy-ending look on his face, but mostly by the stain he had made on his trench coat below the buckle."
"Ewww . . . well, at least he kept it in his pants."
"How could you tell?" -- "Well, partly by the refreshed happy-ending look on his face, but mostly by the stain he had made on his trench coat below the buckle."
"Ewww . . . well, at least he kept it in his pants."
by al-in-chgo March 20, 2011
Get the London Flogmug. .
Q: What's a Gay Eight?
A: Six inches.
Q: OK, so what's a genuine eight inches?
A: No one I know (sighs).
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Q: What's a Gay Eight?
A: Six inches.
Q: OK, so what's a genuine eight inches?
A: No one I know (sighs).
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by al-in-chgo May 16, 2010
Get the eight inchesmug. 1. To slack off or waste time with the implication that the time is better spent at something to hand (like one's job);
2. Semi-euphemism for "masturbate."
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2. Semi-euphemism for "masturbate."
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-After school, Sam was downtown as usual, the typical small-town Drugstore Cowboy, goofing off.
-In the movie THE LAST PICTURE SHOW (1971), the coach's remark to the basketball team, "If y'all boys didn't jack off so much, you might amount to something," was replaced by "If y'all boys didn't goof off so much, you might amount to something," for the TV release.
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-In the movie THE LAST PICTURE SHOW (1971), the coach's remark to the basketball team, "If y'all boys didn't jack off so much, you might amount to something," was replaced by "If y'all boys didn't goof off so much, you might amount to something," for the TV release.
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by al-in-chgo August 18, 2010
Get the goof offmug. The interior male sex gland, about the size of a small walnut, not inside the anus but right on the other side of the anal wall (responding to anal pressure and capable of producing great pleasure), and close to or touching other parts of a man's interior sexual equipment/urinary system.
Semen (often mistakenly called "sperm") actually consists of about 65% prostatic fluid, the remaining liquid and sperm themselves coming from the testicles.
The mineral zinc is good for glands and is said to be especially good for the prostate, by supporting increased prostatic fluid production (prostate "flow"). Many herbalists also swear by saw palmetto, an extract made from a palm-like shrub that grows in coastal areas of South Carolina, to keep that flow moving nicely.
If the prostate feels a little swollen (often described as a "twinge insidesic my butt") its flow might be a little "backed up" and more sexual outlet is advised. The medical profession is much less likely to routinely screen for PSA's (an indicator of possible prostate cancer) than in the past because, in early 2010, the evidence indicated that so many false-positives had been generated that the cure (chemo, etc.) for the disease was worse statistically than the disease (prostate cancer) itself, on average.
Not to be confused with the word "prostrate," which means "stretched out face down on the ground in submission or adoration," or "to be lying flat."
Semen (often mistakenly called "sperm") actually consists of about 65% prostatic fluid, the remaining liquid and sperm themselves coming from the testicles.
The mineral zinc is good for glands and is said to be especially good for the prostate, by supporting increased prostatic fluid production (prostate "flow"). Many herbalists also swear by saw palmetto, an extract made from a palm-like shrub that grows in coastal areas of South Carolina, to keep that flow moving nicely.
If the prostate feels a little swollen (often described as a "twinge insidesic my butt") its flow might be a little "backed up" and more sexual outlet is advised. The medical profession is much less likely to routinely screen for PSA's (an indicator of possible prostate cancer) than in the past because, in early 2010, the evidence indicated that so many false-positives had been generated that the cure (chemo, etc.) for the disease was worse statistically than the disease (prostate cancer) itself, on average.
Not to be confused with the word "prostrate," which means "stretched out face down on the ground in submission or adoration," or "to be lying flat."
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"Will you have sex with me? It's essential to keep my prostate gland in good condition."
"So is masturbation. Get busy."
"Will you have sex with me? It's essential to keep my prostate gland in good condition."
"So is masturbation. Get busy."
by al-in-chgo March 6, 2010
Get the prostate glandmug. Lacking in penis length, not well-hung, deficient. In a recent and highly un-scientific survey, seven out of ten adult American males would rather be called "harmless" than "underhung."
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"'Harmless' -- well, that could be someone who is well-behaved around women, but 'underhung' -- you've been typed for good!"
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by al-in-chgo March 2, 2010
Get the underhungmug. Cumming in someone's mouth, or for the recipient to solicit multiple ejaculations from multiple partners -- an interior bukkake.
"Jack loves to play 'coat the throat' but unfortunately my paint brush is too sensitive for that kind of inside work."
by al-in-chgo August 21, 2010
Get the coat the throatmug.