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Yopmail User's definitions

Santa

A morbidly obese child molester who lives in the North Pole and, depending on how attractive he finds you, will either put you on his naughty or nice list. The naughty list is for sexually promiscuous kids and adults who will be fucked by Santa Claus on Christmas, and since he deems them more attractive, he will barge in unannounced and violently rape everyone around him. The nice list, on the other hand, is reserved for sexual illiterates, abstainers, and other children. Since Santa deems these people less attractive, he will simply date rape them by spiking their Christmas treats with sedatives. He also watches everything you do at all times. That includes your showering and masturbation sessions. Whichever list you're put on depends on whether or not Santa thinks your body is attractive. Thus, he will make comments on your body parts (especially your ass and genitals) and record it so he can decide on whether or not you're worth fucking (naughty for attractive, nice for less attractive). He also visits malls regularly during the holiday season so that he can trick children into sitting on his lap, which allows him to grope their asses when they least expect it (or boobs, if they're available). Somehow, the FBI is okay with this.
Jill thought he'd bring her a copy of Disaster Movie, but Santa instead raped her and her son! I gotta call the cops!
by Yopmail User August 22, 2022
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Biden's Penis

Seriously? You have to be kidding me. What has driven you to look up "Biden's penis" on Urban Dictionary? Are you stupid or retarded? If you want a definition for Biden's penis, then get lost, faggot. I bet $500 you're a 13-year-old boy who enjoys looking stupid shit up on Urban Dictionary. Get off the computer and become an hero instead of doing this pointless shit.
Go do your homework instead of looking up "Biden's penis" on Urban Dictionary. His is small, but it's much bigger than yours.
by Yopmail User August 23, 2022
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Vagina

Female genitalia. Otherwise known as the birth canal, it is part of the female reproductive system. Allows offspring to exit the mother's uterus during childbirth. Not to be confused with Virginia. (noun)
Pour Diet Coke and Mentos down your vagina to earn free pizza!
by Yopmail User June 27, 2022
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Limerick

DEFINITION
There once was a dude from Yopmail
Whose struggle against boredom was a fail
So he hopped on UrbDic(k)
And wrote this limerick
Enjoy the rest, you diseased toenail
A Bunch of Limericks by Yopmail User

RICK
There once was a dick named Rick
Who fucked his nephew's daughters for kicks
His son ate ten dimes
Then fucked tigers twelve times
And proudly sucked a monkey's dick

CHRIS HANSEN
There once was a Brit with a snare
Who raped a few kids for a dare
He then wet his bed
When Chris Hansen said
"Why don't you have a seat over there?"

OBSCENE
There once was a poem so obscene
It made all its readers drink bromine
They thought it was time
To shit on a mime
And fuck his dead body for hygiene

THE SHITTY DECK POEM
There once was a kid on a deck
Who fell over and broke his neck
Someone raped the dude
And was promptly sued
He now qualifies for a penis check

MASTURBATION
A kid once beat off to his dog
Who unwillingly sucked his big log
The dog saw a tick
And bit off the kid's dick
Then took a big shit on a frog
by Yopmail User January 16, 2023
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Sex

Where is your brain? Oh, that's right... it doesn't exist! I cannot believe you are retarded enough to look up "sex" on Urban Dictionary. You can try to get it, but you will never have it, for your micropenis can and will scare all women in a 70-mile radius. Fuck off and watch Pornhub instead. Your school blocked it? Too bad.
Pornhub will be the closest you'll ever get to scoring with a woman. You will never have sex. You will forever remain a virgin. End of story.
by Yopmail User August 22, 2022
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proofreading

Something nobody does on this site, thus paving the way for incomprehensible gibberish that looks like it was written by retarded infants who were thrown at brick walls, half of whom (not the walls, you doofus) were promptly scooped up and thrown farther by garbage trucks. That should explain why this shithole feels like an asylum.
Proofreading your definitions will not give you cancer. Just do it. Please.
by Yopmail User July 4, 2023
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Nonexistent

Your brain, talent, and love life. Need I say more?
Did you seriously just look up "nonexistent" on Urban Dictionary? You fucking retard.
by Yopmail User August 16, 2022
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