Your in-laws are coming to stay

Some of the worst news one can get. Literally makes you dread it for months.

Boss: You’re fired
Me: Damn
Bank: Your bank account has been frozen

Me: Shit!
Sister: hey did your wife tell you that your in-laws are coming to stay?
Me: NOOOOOO!!!!!

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx November 14, 2020

Thoughts and Prayers

Everyone says, but very few actually do.

It's basically a polite way of telling someone that what they're going through sucks but it's not your problem

Now, if you ACTUALLY keep the person in your thoughts and prayers, AND make at least some effort to help them, then you're using this phrase with meaning. But most people use this phrase to politely say they don't give a damn about what you're going through.

The Correct Usage:

Jake: My Mom died.

Dan: Thoughts and Prayers for you guys

Jake: Dude is that really all you can give me?

Dan: No, I actually mean it, we can talk about it whenever you want and I'm always here for you. I had something similar happen a while ago.

Wrong Usage

Jake: My Mom Died

Dan: Thoughts and Prayers

Jake: Is that all you've got to help?

Dan: Yeah, I'm going through some tough crap too, my Instagram account got locked

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx October 14, 2020

Mice on Venus

The Minecraft song that, for some reason, gives me an incredible feeling of Nostalgia to the “before time”, AKA, the time before 2020 and everything going stupidly wrong. I remember the days when I could actually enjoy a normal life. How I wish I enjoyed it more. Now we got this shit. Fuck 2020.

Mice on Venus is by far my favorite Minecraft song.

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx December 21, 2020

Swamp Yankee

A New England version of a redneck. Typically from rural southern New England. Though not all are, Swamp Yankees are heavily concentrated in Windham County, CT, and southern Worcester County, MA (the swamp Yankee part of Worcester County is basically a triangle, with one corner at the southern end of Worcester, one in Sturbridge, and one in Milford). They are similar in many ways to rednecks, though are only slightly racist (as compared to very racist rednecks). They can't pronounce the letter R unless it's before a vowel. True Swamp Yankees are a dying breed. They used to be found all over New England but are pretty much only found now in Windham County, CT, and Southern Worcester County, MA.

If you drive on I-395 between Norwich and Worcester, you'll be driving through Swamp Yankee country

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx January 29, 2022

DaBaby

A rapper known best for his 2020 song Rockstar. He’s been involved in many controversies, including one where he assaulted a female fan. He was also charged with felony robbery in January 2020. He is currently free awaiting trial, but he could face prison time if convicted. We’ll have to see.

DaBaby is quite controversial.

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx September 14, 2020

Neighbor’s Dog

The worst thing that has ever happened to you. Responsible for many sleepless nights and unproductive days. Will not stop shitting on your lawn. Will not stop attacking you when you’re just trying to walk in the neighborhood. Worst of all, he’s the one who got your 6 month old Yorkie pregnant.

My life has been a living hell ever since my neighbors got a dog. The neighbor’s dog has messed up many aspects of my life. I can’t sit in peace in my own yard.

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx November 14, 2020

Hitting the lottery

When you shit your pants and finally make it to the bathroom, only to realize the shit never made it to your underwear because your ass cheeks held it in. It’s a great feeling of relief because you don’t have to throw out your underwear or clean off the shit smeared all over your ass.

Me: Fuck I sharted

Me 5 min later: Yes! I love hitting the lottery, now I don’t have to wipe shit off my legs!

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx July 04, 2020