Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx's definitions

Redneck

A rural middle class worker who's neck is sunburnt from long hours working on a farm, hence the name redneck.

You know you're a redneck if:

You have a boat in your driveway even if you live 100 miles from the ocean and haven't moved it since you bought it.
You have 15 campers in your yard
You haven't mowed your lawn in 15 years
You have a beat up 1999 pickup truck with trump stickers all over it
You take up two or more parking spots when you park
Your dining room is full of dirty clothes
You disowned your gay son and your feminist daughter
You have 15 dui's but still somehow have your licence
You've been married 5 times and have many illegitimate children
You beat your wife until she threatens you with a gun
Your barn burned down because you left a burning cigar in it
You sit on the porch chainsmoking and chugging beers every night
All your kids are named after confederate war generals
You claim to love America but yet you fly a confederate flag
You're racist
You deny the Holocaust
You use public bathrooms to save on your water bill and toilet paper
You have an antenna up and watch pirated tv stations instead of buying cable
You live in North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, Kentucky, West Virginia, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Arkansas, Texas, or Missouri
Your kids don't go to school, instead they get a "real education" by working on your ranch
You claim to be a "real christian" despite being a pothead, alcoholic, and being divorced 5 times and disowning your kids
Your wife weighs more than your 20 kids combined

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx July 9, 2020

I got hacked!

When you say something or post something on the internet that you regret, and a bunch of people see it and you're embarrassed, you save yourself by saying you got hacked and it wasn't you who posted it. Luckily, this does occasionally happen, so it's a believable story, and no one can hold you accountable for what you said.

James: Posts: Man I'm having a shitty day I hope my boss dies! *regrets the post the next day*

Boss: James, why did you shit talk me on facebook?

James: I got hacked! Chill out!

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx September 18, 2020

Car crash pickup

When you see your crush driving in front of you and you want her number so bad that you deliberately cause a car crash. You’ll need her number for insurance purposes, so it’s a guaranteed way to get her number.

My crush won’t give me her number, so i did a car crash pickup and got it myself.

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx November 29, 2020

Grown Ass

When you call someone a grown ass, you're basically calling them a grown up and telling them they need to start acting like one.

"come on Jerry, you're a grown ass man, stop driving your go kart around your yard!"

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx June 9, 2020

Divorce

Something 50% of married couples get when they can't overcome their stupid differences and are willing to put their kids through pain and misery because they can't act like adults and overcome their differences.

That's 75% of divorces. The other 25% are for good reason, like abuse, drugs, or infidelity, but most divorces are over stupid shit that the couple could just grow up and overcome.'

Also, only an idiot can have a divorce more than once.

50% of Married couples get a divorce.

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx July 11, 2020

One thing led to another

When you cheated on someone but you excuse it as something that "just happened" and you didn't want it to. It rarely works because you're a human being and you can control your actions.

Jake: Babe sorry we were just hanging out, I complemented her makeup, and one thing led to another, I didn't mean it

Mary: Yeah right, we're done Jake!

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx June 12, 2020

Dog Shit

A common unpleasant surprise one can find on their shoe after going on a walk in the park. Also it sticks nicely to your shoe and will enter every crevice of the bottom of your shoe as to make it nearly impossible to completely get rid of, so a tiny bit will be on your shoe permanently.

Sometimes after you return from a walk in the park, you're treated to dog shit on the bottom of your shoe that you have to scrape off bit by bit because nothing else will work.

by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx December 18, 2020