Woody Thomas's definitions

as the crow flies

the distance between two places if you took a straight line from one to the other

it's six miles to drive from my house to work, but only 3 miles as the crow flies

by Woody Thomas July 30, 2008

DWD

Driving While Driving. Refers to being pulled over by a cop for no good reason, either because said cop is just an asshole or for the purpose of issuing a ticket so the municipality can collect revenue. St. George, Missouri, a St. Louis suburb, is notorious for the latter. And the former, too, for that matter.

Stay out of St. George at all costs. The cops are lurking everywhere and love to pull people over for DWD.

by Woody Thomas January 3, 2009

Twit

Something akin to a nerd; someone who is very unhip and also oblivious to the fact that they are. Like a guy wearing shorts and black socks with a camera hanging from his neck walking around Disneyworld with his twitty wife and twit kids.

Look at those twits playing jarts in their back yard.

by Woody Thomas July 16, 2008

diamond sombrero

a more humiliating feat than the golden sombrero. 0 for 5 with 5 strikeouts. I don't believe even that bum Jim Edmonds has done it. However, Andrew Jones of the Braves did it the other night.

Many a player has worn the golden sombrero but few have worn the diamond sombrero

by Woody Thomas June 13, 2007

what?

Used by Brits at the end of a sentence to mean 'right?' or 'don't you agree?'

That Teri Hatcher is a fine looking bird, what?

by Woody Thomas July 30, 2008

sweating like the only hooker at a Shriners convention

To be perspiring profusely

Man, it's hot in here; I'm sweating like the only hooker at a Shriners convention

by Woody Thomas July 25, 2008

loaded to the gunwales

very much under the influence of one or a variety of substances

Back in my wild days I was loaded to the gunwales every other night

by Woody Thomas April 14, 2006