Woody Thomas's definitions

what?

Used by Brits at the end of a sentence to mean 'right?' or 'don't you agree?'

That Teri Hatcher is a fine looking bird, what?

by Woody Thomas July 30, 2008

diamond sombrero

a more humiliating feat than the golden sombrero. 0 for 5 with 5 strikeouts. I don't believe even that bum Jim Edmonds has done it. However, Andrew Jones of the Braves did it the other night.

Many a player has worn the golden sombrero but few have worn the diamond sombrero

by Woody Thomas June 13, 2007

loaded to the gunwales

very much under the influence of one or a variety of substances

Back in my wild days I was loaded to the gunwales every other night

by Woody Thomas April 14, 2006

Twit

Something akin to a nerd; someone who is very unhip and also oblivious to the fact that they are. Like a guy wearing shorts and black socks with a camera hanging from his neck walking around Disneyworld with his twitty wife and twit kids.

Look at those twits playing jarts in their back yard.

by Woody Thomas July 16, 2008

as the crow flies

the distance between two places if you took a straight line from one to the other

it's six miles to drive from my house to work, but only 3 miles as the crow flies

by Woody Thomas July 30, 2008

Buick

The subject of conversation when talking to Ralph on the big white telephone, usually after having consumed beer, scotch, and wine the same evening.

Joe came out of the bathroom white as a ghost and sweating his ass off. He had been talking to Ralph about a Buick on the big white telephone.

by Woody Thomas July 16, 2008

urban myth

A bit of folklore widely beleived to be real but that never actually happened.

Examples:

The Babe Ruth "called shot" at Wrigley Field where he pointed to the centerfield scoreboard and then hit the next pitch there.

Zsa Zsa Gabor was on the Johnny Carson show with a cat on her lap and said 'Johnny, vood you like to pet my poo-see?'
To which he replied 'Sure, move the cat.'

Arnold Palmer's wife was on the Carson show and said that before every tournament, 'I kiss his (golf) balls for good luck,' and Johnny said, 'well I'll bet that makes his putter stand up.'

Richard Gere once went to an emergency room to have a gerbil removed from his ass.

Rod Stewart once had to have his stomach pumped due to swallowing an excessive amount of semen

Keith Richards went to Switzerland to have his blood replaced with new blood as an attempt to kick heroin

Jim Morrison flashed his dick at a concert in Miami

Ozzy Osbourne bit the head off a live bat

Wilt Chamberlain fucked over 20,000 women

Most urban myths are bullshit

by Woody Thomas January 2, 2009